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Clips from The Office - Appraisals (S02E02)

"Embarrassing. It's backfired, hasn't it. Oh, dear. Very flattering."
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"- Can we put me as a...? - Ok. Tim, then."
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"- We said not Tim. So do you want to put me or not? - Ok."
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"- Right. So shall I put "strong role model"? - Ok."
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"- He's trained. Good man. - Come on, people, let's get moving. Just a drill but treat it as if it was real."
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"- I'd be the last one out, in these situations. - Do not run and do not panic."
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"Not that it's in my job descrption. That's just what I do. I do these every couple of months."
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"You know? We have to by law but that's not why I do 'em."
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"It's because even though I'm always cool in a situation like this, some people are not,"
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"and so I try to make sure... I'll do that. It's all right."
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"- We were... - No, no, no. I've got it. Go on."
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"I'm going to get you out of here. All right? So.."
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"Obviously the lifts are out of bounds in a fire situation,"
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"so the important thing is... put her down."
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"- Can't I use the lift? - No, not even in a drill. Never use a lift."
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"We won't be a minute."
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"I've got no problem at all with him visiting every single child in the world, on a single night,"
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"what I can't believe is that he's gonna stand up there in Barnardo's arguing with old women."
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"I don't know if you're aware of the situation that's arising here."
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"I usually steer clear of ladies at work, but there is someone I've got my eye on."
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"I won't say who. I don't know what Tim's playing at, moving in."
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"He already embarrassed himself once before, asking Dawn out so this is only gonna end in tears."
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"Whereas I, you probably notice, play it cool."
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"He's not a man of the world like me."
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"See I can read women. And you've got to know their wants and their needs."
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"and that can be anyhting from making sure she's got enough money to buy groceries each week,"
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"to making sure she's gratified sexually after intercourse."
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"I see you're using all your best lines on Rachel."
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"Best lines! I was just being friendly."
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"Yeah it was friendly, sort of, more than."
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"- More than? - Friendly."
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"Under "strengths", you've just put "accounts"."
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"Yeah."
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"That's your job, though. That's just..."
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"No Keith. I'm sort of looking for your skills within your job. So is there anything else you could have put there?"
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"- No. - Ok."
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"You had a fantastically welcoming buffet."
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"- The wine was something else. - Everyone's quite friendly."
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"- Everyone's... and Tim seems nice. - Yeah. He's a good laugh."
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"I've just got to... has he got a girlfriend?"
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"- Tim? No. - Why? What's up?"
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"- Nothing. - Why? Would you?"
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"Mm? Out of the equation."
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"Yea I know, but if he weren't, would he be...?"
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"If I weren't? Madness."
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"You've left this section completely blank. You haven't done the Q & A."
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""To what extent do you believe that you have the skills and knowledge to perform your job effectively?""
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"And then, you just tick on of the boxes. "Not at all. To some extent. Very much so. Don't know.""
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""Not at all. To some extent. Very much so. Don't know.""
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""Do you feel you are given the flexibility to decide how best to accomplish your goals?""
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"- Do you want the options again? - Yeah."
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""Not at all. To some extent..." Always the same."
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"- "Very much so. Don't know." - Don't know."
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"If "Don't know" wasn't there, what would you put?"
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"- What are the options? - "Not at all. To some extent."
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"- "Very much so. Don't know." - Very much so."
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"- Do you remember what the question was? - No."
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"Just going to give the new Swindon lot a bit of a... I mean it's not an appraisal as such, but, you know.."
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"I hope you warmed them up better than last time! Doesn't look like it."
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"- Ok. See you later. - See you. Bye."
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"Anyway... good. Hello."
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"Obviously I can't give you an appraisal as such. You've only been here a week."
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"But I did want to try and get a flavour of how you're settling in."
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"I know it's probably not the same vibe you're used to. Neil ruled with a bit more of an iron fist than me."
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"Settling in? Having a good time?"
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"How is it different?"
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"More laid back, presumably."
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"- Think it's more laid back? Yeah? - Yes..."
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"Say yes then, if you think it's more laid back. More laid back. More fun."
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"- Well... - Ah?"
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"- Nothing. - Go on."
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"We're actually used to doing stuff, like working hard, you know, being motivated."
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"There's not much dynamism out there, is there? You know, I mean people look like they're getting away with murder."
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"Oh! What, you preferred Swindon?"
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"- More of a laugh. - You're having a laugh saying that."
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"What's so good about Swindon? Neil?"
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"- Yeah, for one. - What? You prefer Neil to me?"
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"That's mental! Come off it. You..."
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"Put your money where your mouth is."
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"We'll go for a drink lunchtime. We'll go.. right."
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"Right. Here we are. There's an outing, ok? Lunchtime."
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"Show them what the Slough lot are like. Keith, what are you doing lunchtime?"
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"Welcome to alcoholic's anonymous! No. Purely social."
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"I know someone who is an alcoholic and it is no laughing matter - particularly for his wife."
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"And their eldest is like that Dustin Hoffman in "Rain Man", so.."
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"That probably what turned him to it in the first place."
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"So. Looking forward to the weekend?"
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"That's a lovely drop. That's Courage."
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"You get a lot around here because the main brewery's in Reading."
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"Although they do it in London and everythng, so.."
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"- It might be Courage actually. - Dunno."
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"No. This is all right, though, isn't it?"
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"- Nice pub... eh? - Just a private joke."
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"I was saying this is nice. There's a lovely pub near me - the gardener's arms."
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"- What? What are you doing? - That bloke over there looks like someone we know."
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"Ok. One at a time. Focus, yeah? You'll get more out of it in the long run, I promise you that."
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"Courage..."
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"- Three points. - What? Don't do that on my head."
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"- Unless you've changed into a dartboard. - From past experience, the dartboard being there makes no difference to you whatsoever."
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"I could be here and I would still get a 180."
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"- Hiya. You all right? - Straight."
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"A couple of mates of mine are all going down to Yates's..."
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"- the wine lodge? Classy. Joking. - Well I was wondering if you'd like to come down with us."
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"Or not. And you, Dawn. You can bring Lee if you like."
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"- I don't think we's be able... - Ok. But um.. you can come?"
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"- Yeah, I can. Thanks. - Great. Ok."
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"- What? You mean tonight? - Yeah. Just after work."
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"- Have a couple of drinks, yeah. - Cool."
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"- Ok. See you later. - See you in a bit."
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"- That'll be fun. - Yeah. Yes."
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"It'll be cool. Cool as a cucumber."
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"- Good? - It was all right."
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"if you want a really good pie; The Gardeners."
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"It's been a washout, hasn't it? You know, I don't know why I bother."
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"If no one else is going to make the effort."
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"- We have made the effort. - Huh?"
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"- We have made the effort. - Yeah. I'm not having a go at you. It's just.."
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"Obviously the best people haven't turned up, you know. It's just, I'm gonna shoot off back to the office."
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"See you later."
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"- Gareth. - Nearly."
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