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Clips from The Office - Appraisals (S02E02)

"- Yeah. I've just come to apologise. - Don't worry about it."
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"No point. No point. Sure, 18-19, go to university, get it out of your system."
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"Can I just...? If we're facing in the right direction,"
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"Not your father. Let's take your parents as read. I'm looking for someone in the sort of work-related arena."
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"Just a drill. Do not panic, ok?"
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"This isn't worth it. It's stupid."
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"Under "weaknesses", you've put "eczema"."
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"- I thought you filled that in. - No. This is aimed at you."
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"- What would you tick? - Don't know."
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"Ok."
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"Question 2. "Do you feel you have received adequate training to use your computer effectively?""
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"- What are the options? - Same as.. they're always the same. Always the same."
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"- Don't know. - Don't know again. Ok."
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"- Having a laugh, yes. - Well I think, quite a few of us are bored."
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"Who thinks Neil's more of a laugh than me?"
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"- Yeah. - Cheers."
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"What's the brewery in Swindon? Is there a big...?"
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"I forgot what I was saying then. That's what happens when you..."
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"I've eaten here, so..."
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"- Come on, Neil. - All right."
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"- If you wanna work.. maybe you should work, as it's quarter past two. - Yeah all right. We're just finishing off."
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"No. Time for work, wasn't it? It's what you say. Let's work, instead of mucking around."
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"- You're acting like a petulant kid. - Young at heart."
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"Not my staff, not my boss, no one and certainly not you. Do you understand?"
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"Great. Thank you."
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"- He got aggressive and I went berserk. - Did you hit him?"
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"- I'd step in if you want. - This is big boy shit, mate. Cheers."
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"- Tonight? - Yeah."
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"- One in the kettle? - Yeah. It's just boiled."
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""Welcome to the er muppet show." "Hai-ya, frog!""
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"For emergencies."
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"Cheers."
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"- So, what sort of...? - Big time. Quite sort of... powerful. Here's one."
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"- Hello. You all right? - Yeah. Good, thanks."
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"See that film last night? Denzel Washington?"
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"- No. - He's a brilliant actor."
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"- He's very good. - Oh, dear."
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"- I like him. - He's great."
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"- See you later. - Yeah. See you later."
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"- He's not my favourite actor of all time, by the way. - No?"
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"No. My favourite actor of all time is Mr. Sidney Poitier."
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"- Well. - So... all right?"
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"Yeah. Amazing."
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"- Gareth, are you building up your wrists? - Yes."
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"When is the charity wank-athon?"
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"- I don't know, but you'd win it. - That's good. Good."
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"- No seriously, what are you doing? - Orienteering with the T.A.'s."
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"All right?"
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"No. I was out of order. I'd had a bad day. I was really wound up. I shouldn't have done it."
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"Well..."
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"- So we're cool, yeah? - Absolutely. Totally cool."
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"What's that? Is that for me?"
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"Just put your mind at rest. There's nothing going on between them."
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"Coz, I would know. I've been watching him like a hawk, and I imagine you've been watching her, your end,"
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"so between us we've got it covered."
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"- See you later, mate. - Yeah. Thanks for that. Cheers."
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"- Probably a bottle of something. - You reckon?"
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"Look at the shape."
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"Today I'm doing our staff appraisals."
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"And some people are getting a bit get nervous about that"
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"coz they think they're walking the long mart with their head on the block, which is wrong."
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"They fill out a form in advance"
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"and they don't only list their strengths and weaknesses, but also mine as a boss."
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"- It's very much an opportunity... - to separate the wheat from the chaff."
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"No. That sounds bad. It's not witchhunt. We're not trying to find out who the worst people are."
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"We know who they are already. I've written it on my form."
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"- You shouldn't have written it on your form. - I've underlined the worst ones."
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"Well you're missing the point. Yeah..."
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"- Hello, David. - Here he is."
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"Tim Canterbury. A good man. "The Canterbury tales.""
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"- Chaucer. - Yup."
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"And Shakespeare."
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"Pleased with you. Very proud. New leaf, et cetera."
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"Trust, encouragement, reward, loyalty, satisfaction. That's what I'm...you know."
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"Probably wondering why I am so generous with encouragement?"
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"Trust people and they'll be true to you."
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"Treat them greatly and they will show themselves to be great."
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"Well I am still eventually gonna go back to uni and do a psychology degree, but..."
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"Waste time mucking around, getting drunk... getting up at mid-day."
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"- having casual sex. - But we're in our 30s now."
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"- I'm only just 30. You must be 39? - No. Both in our 30s is the fact. Yeah?"
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"Who's to say? You keep your head down,i n a few years time, you could be in the hot seat... like me."
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"- When I'm nearly 40. - We're both in our 30s at the moment."
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"Just chewing the fat. Good. You're on the right lines."
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"all we have to do is keep on walking."
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"Very nice. You're quite a philosopher."
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"It's just that I think our greatest glory..."
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"is not in never falling, but in rising everytime we fall."
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"- Are you reading these? Reading the quotes? - Am I what? Sort of.."
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"Confucius. Bernard Shaw..."
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"It doesn't matter who said them first. I'm passing on my wisdom."
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"Don't tell those I've been reading these. It's an insult. I'll put it down there if it's obvious."
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"I always wanted to be a children's illustrator."
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"And when people said to me "what do you do""
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"I'd always say; "Well I'm an illustrator, but I do some reception work for a bit of extra cash.""
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"And, for years I was an illustrator who did some reception work."
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"And then lee thought it would be a good idea for us to both get full-time jobs,"
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"and, you know then you're knackered after work and it's hard to fit in time for the illustrating."
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"Now, when people say "what do you do?", I say, "I'm a receptionist.""
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"And a bloody good one, you know."
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"You'll always have the art. Keep up the doodling always."
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"- Pipe dreams are good...in a way. - Well..I still hope it will happen."
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"Keep the dream alive because otherwise one day you'll go, "Oh! could I have made it?""
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"If you keep trying, at least then when it doesn't happen, you can go, "at least I gave it a go.""
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"You know?"
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"- Are you settling in all right? - Yeah."
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"- Having fun? - Yeah."
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"As much fun as you can have at Wernham-Hogg."
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"- How long were you at Swindon? - Two years."
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"If you had to name a role model..."
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"someone who's influenced you who would it be?"
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"- What? Like a historical person? - Nope, some in your sort of general life. Just someone who's been an influence on you."
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"There's my mum. She's just, strong, calm in the face of adversity."
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"God, I remember when she had a hysterectomy..."
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"if it wasn't your mother, though. I mean it doesn't even have to be a woman. It could be a.."
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"Man? Ok, well, I suppose if it was a man it'd be my father."
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"Right. Ok. I suppose Tim, then. He's always..."
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"Well he's a friend, isn't he? Not a friend. Someone in authority. Maybe as in, you know.."
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"- Well, then I suppose Jennifer. - I thought we said not a woman, didn't we? Or am I...?"
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"Er... ok. Well I suppose you're the only one who..."
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