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Clips from American Dad! - White Rice (S06E06)

"Ow!"
American Dad!
"Sorry about that."
American Dad!
"I made the confetti out of cut-up tuna can lids."
American Dad!
"Now about your career..."
American Dad!
"I'm flattered, but this all happened 20 years ago."
American Dad!
"I might not be good anymore."
American Dad!
"You have talent herpes."
American Dad!
"I have regular herpes. Thank you, Mindy Cohn."
American Dad!
"I can't believe Stan made me forget all this."
American Dad!
"Hell, yes, I'm in."
American Dad!
"Good. We'll start with"
American Dad!
"with the standup-slash-topless bar circuit and work our way up."
American Dad!
"I have to perform topless?"
American Dad!
"You're not topless."
American Dad!
"The staff is topless."
American Dad!
"You want to get noticed?"
American Dad!
"Your ha-has have to be bigger than their ta-tas."
American Dad!
"Are you sure about all this?"
American Dad!
"Remember when Rudy from The Cosby Show"
American Dad!
"got old and stopped being cute?"
American Dad!
"I brought them Raven-Symone."
American Dad!
"Saw her on a Philadelphia playground"
American Dad!
"Snatched her right up."
American Dad!
"Six months later, her parents saw her on TV"
American Dad!
"and realized she was still alive."
American Dad!
"Did some time for that."
American Dad!
"So, you ask, am I sure about this?"
American Dad!
"I don't know."
American Dad!
"She's a terrible wife."
American Dad!
"She has no maternal instincts."
American Dad!
"She ate three of the children!"
American Dad!
"And poor little Susan, she only ate half of her."
American Dad!
"She wasn't even hungry."
American Dad!
"Coming from an Asian family,"
American Dad!
"my parents had never seen boobs."
American Dad!
"No cup size was bigger than an A."
American Dad!
"And that was my dad's."
American Dad!
"You know why Chinese couples"
American Dad!
"can't have their own Caucasian babies?"
American Dad!
"Because two Wongs don't make a white."
American Dad!
"I called in a bunch of favors"
American Dad!
"and put together a talent showcase"
American Dad!
"at the mother of all stripper-slash-comedy clubs."
American Dad!
"Hilareola's?"
American Dad!
"A bunch of TV execs are gonna be there."
American Dad!
"You're my ticket back to the bigs."
American Dad!
"No. This is exactly what I was trying to avoid."
American Dad!
"My whole world is changing."
American Dad!
"Dinner's not on the table, I'm wearing dirty shirts,"
American Dad!
"there's no one taking my shoes upstairs."
American Dad!
"How does that feel?"
American Dad!
"By the look on his face, not good."
American Dad!
"You boys are going to eat her up."
American Dad!
"TV people don't do this anymore?"
American Dad!
"No."
American Dad!
"This is a big night. Huge night."
American Dad!
"Now, I don't want to scare you,"
American Dad!
"but the place is packed with TV executives."
American Dad!
"Welcome to Hilareola's."
American Dad!
"Don't blow it. Your material's as tired as your face."
American Dad!
"How's everyone do...?"
American Dad!
"Well, you tried, Francine."
American Dad!
"FOX ordered six episodes for a sitcom based on my stand-up."
American Dad!
"What?! I'm leaving for Hollywood."
American Dad!
"You shouldn't have left."
American Dad!
"She riffed for 20 minutes"
American Dad!
"on how Chinese food looks like vomit."
American Dad!
"Hilarious!"
American Dad!
"I'll send for my things."
American Dad!
"You can't just leave."
American Dad!
"Stan, you don't control me anymore."
American Dad!
"I'm going to live my life, and you can't stop me."
American Dad!
"I'm going, too."
American Dad!
"I'm a non-writing producer,"
American Dad!
"which means I get paid to do nothing."
American Dad!
"I might even be a hindrance."
American Dad!
"I'm gonna call everyone to tell them Sweeps is coming to town."
American Dad!
"I'm gonna get off the plane and go right to Dana Plato's grave."
American Dad!
"I owe it to her."
American Dad!
"And that's the news."
American Dad!
"We'll be back with sports."
American Dad!
"What happens when an adopted white girl"
American Dad!
"is raised by a Chinese family?"
American Dad!
"This fall on Fox."
American Dad!
"Francine Ling and P.D. Wang star in White Rice."
American Dad!
"It's egg foo fun for the whole family."
American Dad!
"Really? I couldn't tell."
American Dad!
"What am I gonna do?"
American Dad!
"Change. Huh?"
American Dad!
"If you want her back, then you're going to have to change."
American Dad!
"Don't let your marriage fall apart like mine did."
American Dad!
"I love show night rehearsal."
American Dad!
"It's a chance to fine-tune the show"
American Dad!
"before they bring the audience in."
American Dad!
"Hey, Toots, you want a part on the show?"
American Dad!
"Let's see 'em."
American Dad!
"Sir, that is sexual harassment."
American Dad!
"Not if I don't have a boner."
American Dad!
"Know the law."
American Dad!
"Okay, Francine, you're getting ready"
American Dad!
"for your father's 70th birthday party, and... action."
American Dad!
"Uncle Fung is bringing dessert and Dan will be home any minute."
American Dad!
"Does he have to come to my birthday?"
American Dad!
"He's my husband."
American Dad!
"We know, but he is white."
American Dad!
"I'm white."
American Dad!
"You are a reverse banana."
American Dad!
"You are white on outside, yellow on inside."
American Dad!
"Laugh, laugh, laugh... You two exit to the kitchen."
American Dad!
"Dan, you enter and cross to Francine."
American Dad!
"Dan, I need to talk to you about something."
American Dad!
"My father's turning 70,"
American Dad!
"and he's not getting any younger."
American Dad!
"You're amazing, P.D."
American Dad!
"Let's break for dinner."
American Dad!
"We shoot in one hour."
American Dad!
"Shooting our sixth episode."
American Dad!
"Premiering next week."
American Dad!
"I can't believe my husband"
American Dad!
"didn't want me to have all of this."
American Dad!
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