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Clips from The IT Crowd (2006) - Jen the Fredo (S04E04)

"what are they like? With their bawdy talk and rough-housing,"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"and their wandering hands, and breath in the morning."
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"Well, unless I'm very much mistaken,"
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"this seems to be a problem for which you need the male perspective."
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"Do you know any men?"
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"You want a good time, right? One that walks on the wild side"
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"without compromising your principles?"
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"Yeah, that's exactly what I want."
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"Then you got it, baby!"
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"Which is why the game needs a 20-sided dice."
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"I've not understood a word you've just said."
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"What is it? Some sort of computer game?"
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"In a sense, except it uses the most powerful processor known to man."
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"The human mind."
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"I'm not a player. But I am playing."
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"He sort of tells us what's happening."
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"I will be your guide."
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"Through my words, you will experience the land of Elfenheart."
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"From the mighty mountains that border the Goblin Wastelands."
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"To the sewers that run like a spider web through the city of Jandor."
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"I will be everyone you meet, every creature you encounter,"
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"every trap you spring."
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"What about him? What's this business with the face like a slapped arse?"
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"I'm sorry, I just came out of a long term relationship, so..."
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"It doesn't... She was the greatest woman"
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"I'm not going to bore you with it."
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"See that you bloody don't!"
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"I still don't understand what this game is!"
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"It seems gay."
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"Mighty warrior priests wielding"
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"golden staffs. I suppose they're gay too?"
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"Here are your character sheets."
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"John One, you're a unicorn man."
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"John Two, you're a wood fairy."
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"And Phil, you're the Gypsy assassin, Esmerelda."
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"Just go with it."
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"It will end."
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"So, gentlemen, are you prepared to open the doors to your mind"
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"Look at those fun bags."
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"Everybody doing okay, yeah?"
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"Loosen up. It's a role-playing party."
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"Jen, can I have a word?"
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"I don't think I want to hang with these guys."
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"Oh, come on, Phil!"
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"They're going to do things tonight that'll blow your mind."
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"Really?"
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"Look at them. They're young, they're keen."
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"And all they want to do is show you a good time."
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"So get back there before you hurt their feelings."
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"Could I steal the lovely Roy for a sec?"
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"Oh, thanks, Jen, that was all getting a little bit..."
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"What do you think you're doing?"
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"What?"
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"Bringing everyone down with your private life."
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"They don't want to know about your miserable private life."
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"They're here for a good time. Look at that face."
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"Who'd want to role-play with that face?"
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"We're getting good money for this."
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"Don't you want to get the deposit for a flat,"
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"leave those bad memories behind?"
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"- Yeah. - Yeah?"
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"- I'll try harder, Jen. - Okay."
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"Good girl."
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"Well, that cleaned the pipes."
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"to take back the award myself?"
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"Oh, what?"
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"No, we all make mistakes. And you intrigue me."
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"Do you mean the rumours that I killed my wife?"
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"No."
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"- Are there rumours? - No."
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"There were rumours that there was a rumour, but that was just bullshit."
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"Inside my company?"
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"Yeah, one of the women from the IT department faxed a dossier"
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"of your behaviour over the last 12 months."
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"One of the women in the IT department?"
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"Heal All is probably the worst spell you could have used. The sound of"
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"One comes through the door."
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"Throwing knife."
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"Are you sure? Quite a low damage."
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"I have a plus 40% chance of a critical."
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"Remember the talking bunny that gave me that magic bracelet?"
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"Yeah, that bunny thing gave him that thing."
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"You're absolutely right. Roll 'em."
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"Yes!"
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"Direct hit. The knife cleaves his head in twain"
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"and some of his brains runneth down John Two's invisibility cloak."
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"Dammit!"
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"'Tis the dreaded Imperial Guard, the cruellest of all"
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"of Queen Elisa's troops. At their head..."
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"someone you recognise."
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"Well, well, well."
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"Lucius Santana!"
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"Stand your men down, Lucius! We have no quarrel with you!"
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"Quarrel? I just came to see how a mismatched bunch of raggle taggle"
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"adventurers bested some of the deadliest criminals in Crackenwood."
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"You have my thanks. And if you ever want to join"
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"the Palace Guard, you know where I am."
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"The Palace Guard?"
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"You have my sword."
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"And my staff."
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"And my bunny bracelet."
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"And whatever it is that I have."
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"The mist clears."
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"You see a lone, female figure."
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"That's ruddy mysterious."
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"Hello."
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"Who goes there?"
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"not three moons ago."
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"Don't do this."
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"Just go with it, Roy."
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"Hello, my queen."
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"How are you?"
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"I'm fine."
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"You look well."
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"Yes, she does, actually."
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"Does she?"
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"So, what are you up to?"
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"Oh, you know just... Just keeping busy."
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"Missing you a little bit."
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"Yourself?"
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