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Clips from Family Guy - Fifteen Minutes of Shame (S02E02)

"And that'll just be our little secret."
Family Guy
"But where are those good old-fashioned values"
Family Guy
"On which we used to rely?"
Family Guy
"Laugh and cry"
Family Guy
"Thank you. Thank you very much."
Family Guy
"- Did I not pack my towel? - Are you listening? I'm trying to help."
Family Guy
"I saw you."
Family Guy
"from a combination of tuberculosis and a tomahawk to the head -"
Family Guy
"What's that? Something out at sea?"
Family Guy
"- But, Dad... - Upstairs!"
Family Guy
"and jellybeans and stickers..."
Family Guy
"Oh, we'd better stop by the hospital so I can get my cooties shot."
Family Guy
"I'd take James Brolin's face, Mark Spitz's body,"
Family Guy
"At my sleepovers, we used to practise French kissing. Now, everybody pair up."
Family Guy
"Hello."
Family Guy
"I'm sorry, honey. I know how you must feel."
Family Guy
"All right, let's try some role-playing. I'll be Mark."
Family Guy
"- Argh! - Argh!"
Family Guy
"Whatever problems we have can be settled in the privacy of..."
Family Guy
"I can't believe you'd do this to us, Meg. Maybe now I won't give you the antidote."
Family Guy
"See what I mean? This is not normal."
Family Guy
"I say, what's this? Volume. Volume!"
Family Guy
"Well, you'd better let him out!"
Family Guy
"She said a swear!"
Family Guy
"- What? - OK, time out."
Family Guy
"- So, do we have a deal? - Let's shake on it."
Family Guy
"and now we're gonna be on TV for the next six months."
Family Guy
"You! Cameraman! Make sure you use that Cybill Shepherd filter."
Family Guy
"If it makes her look half-human, it'll take six months off my face."
Family Guy
"Here. A good breakfast is the foundation of a good day."
Family Guy
"What the hell is this? I said egg whites only!"
Family Guy
"Are you trying to give me a bloody heart attack? Make it again!"
Family Guy
"Wow! Joe, this sort of makes you like Larry from Three's Company."
Family Guy
"You know, I always thought he was sexy."
Family Guy
"There's fresh seafood, good prices."
Family Guy
"No cameras. The TV executives don't want viewers to be confused and think you're Meg."
Family Guy
"They could've gone with plan B."
Family Guy
""It spun in. There were no survivors.""
Family Guy
"Fine! Do your stupid show without me."
Family Guy
"provided that it doesn't bother you that my Great Uncle Chet died in there."
Family Guy
"Hey. Hey, I'm over here. Hey!"
Family Guy
"Of course I do, silly. I'm your sister, Meg."
Family Guy
"Oh."
Family Guy
"but we usually have breakfast naked and I'm allowed to videotape it."
Family Guy
"Oh! She got me."
Family Guy
"No problem, Meg. You probably bought me another three minutes. Giggedy-giggedy!"
Family Guy
"and I still don't have a date for Friday night, as usual."
Family Guy
"It's not fair. If I don't get any airtime, how am I ever gonna get my own spin-off"
Family Guy
"- Besides, you can't quit. You have a contract. - Oh, yeah?"
Family Guy
"- Meg! - Oh, Mom!"
Family Guy
"Look, I don't care if you guys embarrass me. I wanna come home."
Family Guy
"Hey, Lois, there's a Bible in here."
Family Guy
"All right, we're gonna use a fan brush here. I want you to take some hunter green,"
Family Guy
"and we're gonna put a happy little bush down here in the corner."
Family Guy
"And if you tell anyone that that bush is there..."
Family Guy
"I will come to your house and I will cut you."
Family Guy
"Aw, jeez. Mine doesn't look anything like his. Ah, the hell with it."
Family Guy
"It seems today that all you see"
Family Guy
"Is violence in movies and sex on TV"
Family Guy
"Lucky there's a family guy"
Family Guy
"Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us"
Family Guy
"He's a family guy"
Family Guy
"Ha! Boy, you throw like a fishwife. Come on, ya hairy, lubbin', friggin' rod."
Family Guy
"Chris, are you gonna take that from a fisherman?"
Family Guy
"No way!"
Family Guy
"Argh! Oh, for the love of Pete! Oh!"
Family Guy
"- I'm good. - Oh, how fun. And it's for a good cause."
Family Guy
"All the money goes to the families of fishermen who've been eaten by sharks."
Family Guy
"Ladies and gentlemen, the mayor of Quahog, Adam West."
Family Guy
"Thank you. Thank you."
Family Guy
"Thank you. Mm. Thank you."
Family Guy
"It was 360 years ago that Quahog founder Miles "Chatterbox" Musket set sail"
Family Guy
"for the new colony of Rhode Island."
Family Guy
"You know what I'm gonna do when we get to shore? First, I'm gonna have a snack."
Family Guy
"No, no, no. Shower first, snack second."
Family Guy
"I hope I see Indians! Think they'll have American cheese?"
Family Guy
"Ever the free thinker, Miles was thrown overboard for speaking his mind."
Family Guy
"He was as good as dead."
Family Guy
"But, as legend has it, he was saved by a magic clam,"
Family Guy
"who brought him to shore and shared the vision of a new colony,"
Family Guy
"which would be called Quahog."
Family Guy
"There are fields for tilling, woods for timber, and always the bounty of the sea."
Family Guy
"Look at all this sand! Do you know there are beaches with black sand?"
Family Guy
"And help he did. Thanks to the clam's leadership,"
Family Guy
"Quahog became a great and prosperous settlement."
Family Guy
"But relations between Miles and the clam soon soured."
Family Guy
"I know he's an Indian, but what kind of a name is Squanto?"
Family Guy
"- Leslie or something like that would be nice. - Shut up! Just shut up!"
Family Guy
"God! Keep it to yourself once in a while! Oh!"
Family Guy
"Here, look what I'm doing. All right? Look, watch this."
Family Guy
"Huh? Look. See that, see that?"
Family Guy
"Now try it with me. Huh? OK? OK?"
Family Guy
"Things only got worse. Before long, Miles began to contemplate killing the clam."
Family Guy
"I was awake last night, Miles."
Family Guy
"I think it's time for me to go."
Family Guy
"I'll send for my things."
Family Guy
"Wait! Don't go! I'm sorry!"
Family Guy
"Miles never spoke again. But every year until his death -"
Family Guy
"he went to the shore on this day in hopes that the magic clam would return."
Family Guy
"Today we citizens of Quahog continue this tradition."
Family Guy
"Clam ho-o-o-o!"
Family Guy
"They're giving your cue, Peter."
Family Guy
"Whose idea was it to make the suit out of foam rubber?"
Family Guy
"It's such an honour to play the magic clam. Aren't you proud of your dad, kids?"
Family Guy
"Are you kidding? God, this is worse than having Ronald McDonald for a father."
Family Guy
"- Bye, Dad! Don't wait up! - Whoa!"
Family Guy
"Come back here. You're not going out with all that make-up on."
Family Guy
"You're a McDonald, not a whore."
Family Guy
"I think I got a wave here!"
Family Guy
"Huh. So that's what Peter's penis looks like."
Family Guy
"How could you embarrass me?! Nobody better pull this crap at my slumber party."
Family Guy
"Don't worry. You and your friends are gonna have a great time."
Family Guy
"Yes, yes, how delightful it will be."
Family Guy
"A pubescent herd of gabby wretches prattling on about boys and music"
Family Guy
"Shut up."
Family Guy
"Just leave me and my friends alone tonight."
Family Guy
"Meg, will you relax? None of us are gonna do anything to embarrass you."
Family Guy
"Jeez, I gotta get gas."
Family Guy
"Hey, any of you guys want a soda? I'm gonna go inside and get a soda."
Family Guy
"Mom!"
Family Guy
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