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Clips from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - Doink (S01E01)

"I got you something."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I wanted to get you something."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"It's lipstick. I thought you'd like it."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Where did you get it? - My job. At the makeup counter. At work."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"It went well, my first day."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"It's not officially released till the end of the week."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"No. You're the first woman in New York to have it."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"And it's pretty, and I thought of you."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"No, I like it a lot."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I think it looks nice."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"So do I."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"But thank you."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* Did you hear what they did at the WPA? *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* When the banks went belly up, and the jobs all went away *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* They reinvested in America *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* They put the poor to work at honest pay *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* They built dams and roads and bridges *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* When speculators drove the market into New York Bay *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Hi. Nice crowd."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Take a gander."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"My business cards."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Got them up to a nice round 30."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Let me see. - Hey, are your hands clean?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Yeah. - I don't want smudges."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Well, these are gonna be obsolete soon, anyway."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Do you want to know why? - Yes. Why?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I'm getting a phone."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"No shit, I'm getting a phone."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Yeah. Then, I'll put my phone number on the card."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"My-my typewriter's missing its three, eight, nine,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"so I just got to be sure the number doesn't have"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- a three, eight or a nine in it. - Seems doable."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"It's gonna have an answering service. - Wow."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"And some chatty broad's gonna know all my shit."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
""It-It's about some very important,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"show-related business.""
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You might want to soften that a little."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
""Susie Myerson and Associates.""
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- What? - Thinking big, right?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Yeah. I'm thinking big."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"All right, thank you, Ethan Carter and his combo!"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Well, that was almost palatable."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Now, get your stuff off and we'll bring on the next act."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"So hang tight, everybody, and get ready to laugh."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You good to go?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Started my new job today."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"It was crazy."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"So, "Miriam," right?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- A nom de what? - Nom de plume."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I-I don't want to use my real name."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- "Fanny Brice"? - That's taken."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Fanny Jone... that is a terrible name."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Yeah, like you put zero thought into it."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Okay. - Okay, I repeat: I like your real name."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Hey, your call."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"whose name you're gonna want to remember."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"No one?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Well, B. Altman is a department store."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"was punching in on the time clar..."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
""Time clock.""
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You know, the-the feel of it."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"They were already getting ready for Christmas."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"It's not even Halloween yet, and I'm sitting in a hallway"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"That's what she says when she's about to have sex."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Vivian, kind of boy crazy, with her Van Heflins"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Because she's a Negro."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"This-this spotlight is really fucking bright."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Okay, well, now the audience can't see me at all."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Oh. So he's funny."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Oh."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"the spotlight back on?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"My underwear suddenly feels very tight."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Well."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"It's been delightful."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You still got more time."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Uh, we're gonna take a little break to clear the stink."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"And we'll be back in 20."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Absolutely nothing is wrong with these people."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Nothing? They're unconscious. They're lying in state."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"And who is heckling me?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"There was another comic up there an hour ago."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You stunk tonight, lady. That's all it was."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"But I've seen Rickles five times. He's never bombed."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Yeah, that's 'cause they've spent years bombing"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Well, I'm not gonna bomb again."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Why would anyone do this if they're just gonna bomb"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Shit."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"What-what if that's the only reason I was funny?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Like, I can't get loaded every time I come on stage."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I've never felt this devastated."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You mean, besides when your husband left you."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Fuck. - MORT SAHL: So we went to this cabdriver,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"and, uh, I don't want you to think we're like that,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"you know, but you must remember what men are like in war,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"it's that kind of a show tonight. -"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"So, so he took us to this place where they fish illegally."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"See, now you're not supposed..."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"JOEL and ARCHIE: * Be prepared *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* And be careful not to do your good deeds *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* Of a new and different kind *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* And you come across a Girl Scout *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* Be prepared! *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"That is the most beautiful song ever written."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Who wrote that song?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Franz fucking Schubert!"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Conquerors! - Veni, vidi, vici!"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Sal, Sal, we sold plastic stuff"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Yeah. See-see, that's what salesmanship is, Sally."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Mm-hmm. - Selling things to people that they don't want."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- I got to go home. - Then we'll go home."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"It's so urban."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Hello?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Hey, Pen."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Good, good, I'm glad."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Who put this song on?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- It offends my sensibilities. - I don't pick the music."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Penny likes this song."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Penny's young. Penny will learn."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"She doesn't have anything to be nervous about."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"She's a sweet girl. Penny's great."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
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