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Clips from Friends - The One with Rachel's Crush (S04E04)

"Ooh, that's nice."
Friends
"[SHIRT RIPS THEN KATHY SHOUTS]"
Friends
"- If you could just... - Ugh!"
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"- Throw your purses at it."
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"Like where you walk around with snooty rich people..."
Friends
"Hey."
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"I'm totally screwed, okay? They're gonna be hot and heavy on-stage every night..."
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"Okay, look, look. Let me ask you a question."
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"So, uh, man, are you gonna go see the play with me tonight?"
Friends
"...and jams, jellies and marmalades, which I'm fairly certain are the same thing."
Friends
"- Oh, yeah. MONICA: Oh."
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"I'm telling you, I'm quitting, that's it. I'm talking to my boss right now."
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"And you have a customer."
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"[GROANS]"
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"So I got away with two things: This suit and what turned out to be a, uh, skirt. Heh."
Friends
"Okay."
Friends
"No, no, that wasn't me."
Friends
"I'm right, right? There was, like, no chemistry between them."
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"Oh, thank you so much for coming again."
Friends
"- Did you like it tonight? - Absolutely."
Friends
"I loved the play. Uh, yeah, you were great."
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"Clearly, you're having sex with him."
Friends
"Oh, Joshua."
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"Joshua, Josh."
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"Uh, hello?"
Friends
"Ooh, what do I smell?"
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"[RACHEL LAUGHING]"
Friends
"Why? Honey, what is the big deal?"
Friends
"I mean, even when I was little, the girls brought their dollies to my tea party."
Friends
"If you wanted to punish them, you should have just made them hang out here."
Friends
"Steps."
Friends
"Well, I may be drunk, but I know what she said."
Friends
"That doesn't make me sound too good, does it?"
Friends
""Hey."
Friends
"How you doing?"
Friends
"If you, um..."
Friends
"Left your wallet at the store today?"
Friends
"Oh, God, I just got so nervous that he was gonna say no."
Friends
"No. Sorry."
Friends
"- What do you think? - Oh."
Friends
"Maybe I'll see you in the spring with the... For the bathing suits."
Friends
"Sorry?"
Friends
"Okay, it's ready."
Friends
"Please, just hang out, okay?"
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"I'm always the hostess."
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"- What are you saying? - I'm saying that she is a devil woman."
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"- Oh. - How? How is it your fault?"
Friends
"Oh."
Friends
"Yes?"
Friends
"Okay, she is the star of the play, and she is my girlfriend."
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"I get to have sex with the star of the play."
Friends
"- People can hear you. - I know."
Friends
"[LAUGHING]"
Friends
"[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]"
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"- Wow, she looks great, doesn't she? - Mm."
Friends
"[KNOCKING ON DOOR]"
Friends
"MAN: Hi. KATHY: Hi."
Friends
"That is one good-looking man."
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"Is it just me, or can you actually see his abs through his overcoat?"
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"MAN: So, you been doing this long?"
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"KATHY: No. You're my first. Put the money on the table."
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"MAN: Oh, yeah."
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"[KATHY MOANING]"
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"[MAN CHUCKLES]"
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"Dude."
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"MAN: Is that an expensive blouse? KATHY: If you want it to be."
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"Here's your girlfriend's button."
Friends
"Oh, hey, Mon, do you still have, like, your old blouses and dresses from high school?"
Friends
"Yeah, I think I have some around here somewhere. Why?"
Friends
"Well, it's just maternity clothes are so expensive."
Friends
"MONICA: Hey, Rach, I made a pile of your stuff on this side of your room."
Friends
"Bloomingdale's eliminated my department."
Friends
"[GASPS]"
Friends
"- Oh, my God. Are you out of a job? - No, they stuck me in Personal Shopping..."
Friends
"...which is just a huge step down."
Friends
"Personal Shopping, what is that?"
Friends
"...and tell them what to buy?"
Friends
"- Uh-huh. - That sounds great."
Friends
"Um, excuse me, we switched apartments."
Friends
"You can't eat our food anymore. That gravy train has ended."
Friends
"There's gravy?"
Friends
"If you have the big apartment, then deal with people coming over all the time."
Friends
"That fridge has got to be stocked, okay? That's your apartment now."
Friends
"- What are you doing? JOEY: I think I left a doughnut up here."
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"- Hey. BOTH: Hey."
Friends
"Oh, how was Kathy's play?"
Friends
"Well, Kathy gets half-naked and simulates sex..."
Friends
"...with a real good-looking guy."
Friends
"Yeah, it was like somebody wrote down my worst nightmare..."
Friends
"...and then charged me $32 to see it."
Friends
"That's a good idea for a business."
Friends
"...and then they're gonna go to their cast parties, and he's gonna undermine me."
Friends
"You know, he'll be like, "So where's your boyfriend? What's his name, Chester?""
Friends
"And she'll go, "No, no, no. It's Chandler." He'll go, "Whatever. Ha-ha-ha.""
Friends
"That is a good trick."
Friends
"All right, look, look. What am I gonna do?"
Friends
"Chandler, look, they're actors. They're there to do a job."
Friends
"Just because they work together doesn't mean they'll get together."
Friends
"Just because it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins..."
Friends
"...doesn't mean it's gonna happen with them."
Friends
"Oh, oh. Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger."
Friends
"- Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. - Yeah."
Friends
"Okay, Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood."
Friends
"They're not a couple."
Friends
"Oh, okay, I get the game now."
Friends
"When they were doing it on-stage, was it like really hot?"
Friends
"Huh. Oh, yeah."
Friends
"Well, okay, so then you're fine."
Friends
"Look, the rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage..."
Friends
"...then all the sexual tension between them is gone."
Friends
"Okay? So as long as it's hot on-stage, you got nothing to worry about."
Friends
"It's when the heat goes away, that's when you're in trouble."
Friends
"Really?"
Friends
"You guys have been to every play I've been in."
Friends
"Have I ever had chemistry on-stage?"
Friends
"GROUP: No. - No."
Friends
"You know what? I don't know how comfortable I am..."
Friends
"...going to see how hot the sex is between some guy and your girlfriend."
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"- Yeah, I know... - No, no, no, oh, I'm there."
Friends
"- Hey. JOEY: Hey, Mon."
Friends
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