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Clips from Parks and Recreation - Two Funerals (S07E07)

"(MONA-LISA SQUEALING)"
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"again. (LAUGHS)"
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"because you took too long and I got bored."
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"Ah-guh-guh-goink! (FARTING SOUND)"
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"Oh, come on. Think."
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"You know that I despise you,"
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"and that I want you and all people on Earth to be miserable. Right?"
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"No, that's not it. Are you in my Frisbee golf league?"
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"I play for the Super Spinners."
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"Oh. I'm on the Frisbee Champs. Ah, cool."
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"I've always found that when my soul"
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"spiritual cowboy"
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"I hate you so much."
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"And you've lost it. No."
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"Tommy "T", we got you everything you asked for. (SCATTING)"
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"Why?"
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"I spent so long trying to forget about Ice Town,"
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"Okay. I wasn't listening to anything you just said,"
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"No!"
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"and I tried to show you a magic trick"
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"You in that rude mood?"
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"So just shut up and make the man look like this."
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"about Brittany Murphy,"
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"Euro trash. (CHUCKLES) I like that."
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"I had the worst time in Berlin last May."
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"There's still a very big celebration"
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"Catch you on the flipside, Tom-egranate Juice."
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"Tom got engaged."
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"BEN: Oh, that's awesome."
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"Just under the wire."
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"then you should not have gone into"
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"the high-stakes world of banner making!"
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"I thank God (FIREWORKS BURSTING)"
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"That I"
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"LESLIE: The passing of our beloved"
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"of the great city of Pawnee, Indiana,"
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"And goodbye forever."
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"My credit card company called me about it,"
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"but to sincerely ask me if I was mentally stable."
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"Oh."
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"(CLEARS THROAT)"
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"Because we're gonna be splitting our time."
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"After all these years in government,"
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"This is about people who are moving, Garry. Not everything is about you."
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"We even went to a jewelry store and looked at rings."
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"He owns the deli right next to my barber Salvatore's shop."
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"Oh, Ron, you didn't hear?"
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"No. Jesus."
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"And now, here to say a few words"
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"Walter Gunderson and his wife had an open marriage."
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"It kept his wife happy."
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"Grow up, you prudes. We're all adults."
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"his butcher"
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"The most expensive one."
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"Okay, everybody in the van."
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"Hold up. I will do John Mayer,"
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"There's got to be someone."
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"I named us."
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"He is the worst human being on Earth."
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"it's best to turn to Eastern wisdom."
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"But you seem like James Bond right now."
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"But I'm gonna. I'm gonna."
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"On our first date, I gave you"
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"Yes. Yay!"
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"All I really want to do is dance."
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"Except lately, all the good warehouse raves"
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"It is, indeed, a garbage continent."
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"Hey, not bad."
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"More good news, I finally found someone to be mayor."
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"But we are about to begin"
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"Hey. (LAUGHS)"
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"you'd probably want her here for that, right?"
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"I could do some great things for this city."
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"Because, beloved Pawnee Mayor Walter Gunderson"
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"to be played for this event."
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"But I wasn't really doing very much."
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"So, uh, if there's credit to take,"
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"Thank you."
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"Forty-six years later, they're gone."
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"Nothing."
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"I think so. I don't really know."
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"Quiet on the set!"
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"Stunt double."
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"Whenever my hair feels"
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"you're pretty cool. I'm cool? I'm cool."
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"There you go."
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"No further questions."
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"(LAUGHING)"
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"I think Lucy probably wants to hang, just the two of us."
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"Yes, I pray that you"
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"Was he killed by a younger, stronger barber?"
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"I sat in the same chair, Salvatore put the same cape over me."
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"so I will collect my change from your wife."
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"Tom. Action!"
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"ruthlessly."
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"Ladies and gentlemen, the new mayor"
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"I'm writing an electronic opera"
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"Everyone was on their stupid bikes."
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"My only regret is that I never told him how I really felt."
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"then you have no business calling yourself a pet store."
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"Do you have $600,000?"
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"Nice try. (CHUCKLES)"
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"No, it wasn't. You just destroyed my case."
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"But so much is changing,"
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"We're calling this off. It's all wrong."
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"Oh, it can't be."
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"That I finally found you"
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"Yeah, I said we all remember."
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"All right, "B". Let me know. Yeah."
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"And I hope that you feel the same way, too"
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"You should check it out. Seriously."
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"I went to Northwestern."
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"I'll take that one."
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"Good point. Everyone's scattering."
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"Leslie, you have one line."
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"And cut. Oh, my gosh."
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"But sadly, I cannot."
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"Being nice made me feel terrible."
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"Sure."
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"Oh, yeah."
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