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Clips from Parks and Recreation - Two Funerals (S07E07)

"What with everything ending,"
Parks and Recreation
"you guys are the happy beginning that we all need."
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"What better place to ask a woman to marry you"
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"DONNA: Speak for yourself."
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"Before I die, I'm freezing my head like Ted Williams."
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"Wait a thousand years, thaw it out,"
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"Salvatore passed away yesterday."
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"It kept him happy."
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"We know we want to be together forever, so why wait?"
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"Off the top of my head, I guess, my ideal proposal might be"
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"a multi-platform media experience."
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"Why can't everyone share our commitment to"
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"Good to see you guys. It's been a while."
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"(MUMBLING) Well, all right. If you say so."
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"I tell ya, it's so hard to remember boring stuff like that."
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"Choosing to ignore what you just said,"
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"just for two months."
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"What, mayor? Yeah."
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"Yeah, 'cause I'm getting ready to go on a big trip."
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"That'll be really fun, too."
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"That's the guy from Toy Story."
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"You guys were close?"
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"I paid him $8."
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"I can't delay this forever. Excuse me."
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"are his barber,"
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"As you know I don't believe in tipping,"
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"I had an appointment with Salvatore"
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"Look how raggedy my hair is."
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"What am I supposed to be, some kind of rock star?"
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"Okay, Tom, there's your mark,"
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"Why are you doing an accent?"
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"and she has a twin sister,"
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"identical, and they keep..."
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"You knew the risks."
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"Actually, you should be President."
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"my other businesses, my two terrible children."
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"(CHUCKLES) Money, please."
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"Oh, no. No, there's no money. Oh."
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"BEN: Oh, okay. That's fine."
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"Money, please! Money, please."
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"I'm skeptical that your interest is sincere."
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"and I spend all of my time"
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"That's actually a good point."
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"And some gross things with those juicy City Hall interns."
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"(GROANING) Ah."
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"Well, I think we have our answer."
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"It's been torturing you since you were 18 years old."
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"I'm gonna turn the mayoral office"
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"Thought of it a second ago, had to pop back in."
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"Salvatore was a constant in my life."
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"I couldn't help but overhear."
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"our collective lantern gets a little bit dimmer."
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"I'm sure our souls have collided"
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"in one lifetime or another."
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"Oh, come on."
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"Death makes brothers of us all."
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"I have an idea."
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"Who cuts your hair? Nobody."
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"it simply sheds itself off."
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"and I guess what I'm trying to say is,"
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"Hey, there's Lucy."
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"Is it because I said, "It's pizza time"?"
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"(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)"
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"I didn't ask for flavored condoms."
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"That's why I do it all the time."
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"There are hundreds of people waiting for us."
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"No time to explain, Les, but don't worry, I have a plan."
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"Good luck."
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"Don't follow me!"
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"I can't believe I'm about to be the mayor."
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"and then we can let the notary fireworks begin!"
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"It led me to Pawnee, to my job, to Leslie."
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"Who knows where I'd be without it."
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"And I don't wanna erase it."
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"(GASPS)"
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"And while we were there,"
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"I pulled out a deck of cards,"
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"Unsurprisingly, I failed, and you made fun of me,"
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"I haven't done this trick in a while,"
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"Oh, my God. That was so sweet."
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"(SOBBING) It really was."
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"Typhoon is an artist and the human head is..."
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"you're gonna charge him $8."
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"It will take you four minutes."
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"Fine."
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"So, Typhoon,"
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"and I do the chandelier design for my friend's"
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"are filled with Euro trash."
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"Yes. Oh, my God,"
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"I just realized Lucy doesn't care about all that flashy stuff."
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"(CELL PHONE CHIMES)"
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"Hey, babe."
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"Well, I got to say,"
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"ALL: (SINGING) All my life"
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"I prayed for someone like you"
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"All my life, I pray for someone like you"
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"I just wanna say..."
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"Hey. Hey, guys. Listen."
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"but is actually a really big deal."
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"just, everybody, cheer like crazy. Here we go."
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"Also, I'm retiring."
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"Also, he sent us a brief video message"
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"A lot has been done."
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"Fortunately, the citizens of Pawnee didn't pay attention either."
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"an underground dance competition."
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"Well, it's like the ultimate notary adventure."
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"You did. What did you get me? Ooh-la-la."
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"We're born, we survive as long as we're useful, and then we're killed,"
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"What happened? Explain yourself."
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"Mmm. No, it's too gross."
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"Oh, no. What do you want, Leslie?"
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"TOM: See that Rolex Submariner on your wrist, bro."
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"You'll have the banner done."
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"How's Leslie? Is she still, um..."
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"Man, that would be fun."
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"See, this guy knows what's what."
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"Ted, are we rolling?"
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"Just please be careful with my store?"
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"We have the most rare diamonds in the world."
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"Just get the right... Go under the..."
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