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Clips from Family Guy - One If by Clam, Two If by Sea (S03E03)

"- Your move, Sherlock. - Peter! Excuse us."
Family Guy
"That's what they said about Benjamin Disraeli."
Family Guy
"You don't even know who I am."
Family Guy
"The British are a lovely people. Not physically, of course, but inside."
Family Guy
"And Nigel has a very sweet little daughter."
Family Guy
"Aw! Look at the little baby!"
Family Guy
"- What the devil is that ghastly noise? - It's me. Eliza Pinchley."
Family Guy
"You wanna flower, little baby?"
Family Guy
"Excuse me, what I think you mean to say is, would I like a flower?"
Family Guy
"You don't so much speak the language as chew it and spit it out."
Family Guy
"Go on. What's wrong with the way I talk?"
Family Guy
"Everything. Here's a shiny sixpence if you keep your mouth shut and go away."
Family Guy
"Oh..."
Family Guy
"I know The Drunken Clam was your bar,"
Family Guy
"I guess you're right. You know why I married you, Lois?"
Family Guy
"It's not just the rack or the caboose. It's that big sexy brain of yours."
Family Guy
"I've never seen so many chicks in one place."
Family Guy
"Hey, check out those two hotties. They're so lonely, they're practisin' kissin' each other."
Family Guy
"I don't think they're practisin'."
Family Guy
"Oh."
Family Guy
"Ohhh."
Family Guy
"So, you ladies ever been penetrated?"
Family Guy
"- Yep. - Yep."
Family Guy
"Nice choice for a hang-out, Peter. There's not even anywhere to sit down."
Family Guy
"Fellas, fellas. What's become of us? We never squabbled before we lost The Clam."
Family Guy
"- Right. It's those lousy fog-breathers. - Damn British."
Family Guy
"They took our bar, then our friendship. What's next? Apple pie, fast cars and action films?"
Family Guy
"It vas a glorious summer in Oxford ven I met Freddy Cavendish."
Family Guy
"A most remarkable young man whose friendship vould change my life forever."
Family Guy
"You are the anchor that gives my spirit licence to soar."
Family Guy
"Our forefathers wouldn't take it on the chin like this."
Family Guy
"Right. I say we fight the British and drive 'em back to whatever country they came from."
Family Guy
"- Yeah! Yeah! - We gonna get 'em."
Family Guy
"Stewie, look. It's an invitation to little Eliza's birthday party."
Family Guy
"You mean that horrid girl who talks like a scullery maid?"
Family Guy
"I didn't realise she'd been born. I assumed she'd congealed in a gutter somewhere."
Family Guy
"Ooh, I'm gonna RSVP right now."
Family Guy
"Splendid. An entire afternoon of her "er"s and "ah"s and "'alf a pound of ha'penny rice"."
Family Guy
"Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?"
Family Guy
"Oh, yes. This is the part where I'm supposed to say "I am so up to it. Ha ha ha. ""
Family Guy
"Well, I am. I accept your challenge."
Family Guy
"At her party I shall pass that guttersnipe off as a lady. What are the stakes of this wager?"
Family Guy
"I wasn't betting. Why don't you just shut up for about a week?"
Family Guy
"You're on!"
Family Guy
"Minutemen, present arms."
Family Guy
"Fire!"
Family Guy
"- Oh, I say! - Throw the blackguards out."
Family Guy
"- I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave. - Don't tread on me."
Family Guy
"Very well, then. If you refuse to go peaceably,"
Family Guy
"we'll have to use our superior linguistic skills to convince you to leave."
Family Guy
"Just try it."
Family Guy
"- Bye. - Sorry to bother you."
Family Guy
"- Eric? - Peter?"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God. I haven't seen you since high school. What are you doin' these days?"
Family Guy
"- I'm the red guy. - Oh, my God."
Family Guy
"- What about you? - I'm the green guy."
Family Guy
"- Hey, is that Stacy Beacham? - Where?"
Family Guy
"Now, don't worry, these guys are trained to stay perfectly still. Check it out."
Family Guy
"Hey, Margaret Tha... What the hell...? I thought you English guys never move."
Family Guy
"No, that's just our women."
Family Guy
"Bloody hell! My lunch was in that hat! Egg and chips with jam butties."
Family Guy
"- Welcome to the Quahog beer party. - I do feel a little guilty about pollutin'."
Family Guy
"- I felt Guilty once, but she woke up. - Peter, what are you doin'?"
Family Guy
"It may taste like a warm cup of tobacco-chewer's spit, but it's still beer."
Family Guy
"Good point. Bottoms up!"
Family Guy
"Ha! Take that, you lousy Brits!"
Family Guy
"Peter! We waited up all night. Where were you?"
Family Guy
"Wh-where was I? Where were you?"
Family Guy
"- Out drinkin'. But I was back by two. - Oh, no."
Family Guy
"Our top story: The Clam's Head Pub has burned to the ground."
Family Guy
"Our own Tricia Takanawa is on the scene."
Family Guy
"Is Quahog in the grip of a serial arsonist? Police say no, but our producer says yes."
Family Guy
"Here's an artist's depiction of what the arsonist might look like."
Family Guy
"Anyone with information regarding this suspect should contact police immediately."
Family Guy
"One thing is certain: The pain here is palpable."
Family Guy
"For many, this charred portrait of Elizabeth II"
Family Guy
"gives poignant new meaning to the phrase "Hey, check out that flaming queen. ""
Family Guy
"In a late development the police have a new suspect."
Family Guy
"We now go live to Hispanic reporter Maria J... Ji... Jim..."
Family Guy
"- Jimenez. - I know what it is."
Family Guy
"At this moment we're approaching the suspect's house."
Family Guy
"This is better than COPS. You know there's a fat drunk guy in there."
Family Guy
"- Hold it! - Freeze!"
Family Guy
"- There he is. - Griffin, you're comin' with us."
Family Guy
"I wanna see what they do with this jackass."
Family Guy
"- Hands up! - Oh, Peter, you didn't!"
Family Guy
"- Hey, fatty's wife is a babe. - That's it."
Family Guy
"It appears the real arsonist is in custody, thanks to an anonymous tip to the authorities."
Family Guy
"Good. Good."
Family Guy
"Ah, the fat guy's struggling. Hit him, you stupid pigs! Hit him. Use the billy..."
Family Guy
"This Minutemen flag was found in the wreckage of The Clam's Head."
Family Guy
"You are clearly guilty of arson, so you are free to go."
Family Guy
"Straight to jail. Ha! Now you got burned! No bail."
Family Guy
"- Peter, tell me you didn't do this. - Lois, I didn't do it."
Family Guy
"You can trust me, right? Let's sit down and talk about this."
Family Guy
"- I wanna believe you but... agh! - Gotcha!"
Family Guy
"But seriously, you can trust me."
Family Guy
"Oh, Lois, I'm so sorry this terrible tragedy has befallen you."
Family Guy
"Thank you, Nigel. You're very kind."
Family Guy
"- Can I touch your bum once? - What?"
Family Guy
"I expect to see you at Eliza's birthday bash. I won't take no for an answer."
Family Guy
"Unless the question is "Do you not like me?""
Family Guy
"Get it? Double negative, you know. Yes, very good."
Family Guy
"Hey hey hey, check out the new meat."
Family Guy
"- I like the fat one. More cushion for pushin'. - Thank you."
Family Guy
"- Hey, we gonna have a good time together. - Gosh, everybody's so nice here."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God. See that guy? That's the most vicious killer I ever put away, Steve Bellows."
Family Guy
"- He's so mean, he shot a man for snoring. - Where have I heard that before?"
Family Guy
"They're all here. John the Biter, the Berserk Hobo, the Golden Autumn Day Strangler..."
Family Guy
"Maybe Steve won't remember you."
Family Guy
"Well, well. Officer Swanson. You and your friends are dead. You're all dead!"
Family Guy
"Oh, good."
Family Guy
"He thinks we're zombies. He'll leave us alone."
Family Guy
"No, no, no! If you're ever going to be a lady, you must speak like one."
Family Guy
"Now try it again. "The life of the wife is ended by the knife. ""
Family Guy
"The loif of the woif..."
Family Guy
"- That's what I said. Loif. - Listen, you tin-eared piece of baggage."
Family Guy
"We've got five days left, and I'll not lose my wager. Now repeat after me."
Family Guy
""Hello, Mother, have you hidden my hatchet?""
Family Guy
"'Ello, Mother, 'ave you 'idden my 'atchet?"
Family Guy
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