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Clips from Veep - Library (S06E06)

"and School for Public Policy and Women's Studies"
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"is just where we need to be headed."
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"Maybe trim that last part about women."
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"And of course you would be offered a full tenured professorship."
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"Oh, now, would that mean I would have..."
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"Teach? Oh, no. God, no."
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"- in flux. - fucked."
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"Flux. That's what I said."
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"- I just... I can't believe it. - Look at us."
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"Do you remember that night junior year?"
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"No."
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"Chardonnay on the quad after Julia Child Day?"
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"You know what, I'm strictly a scotch girl"
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"so I never really experimented..."
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"with Chardonnay."
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"Um, so I think you've got me confused with somebody else."
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"- I don't think I was confused. - Good for you."
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"- Yeah. - Yeah."
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"- All right. - So... oh, we're going up here?"
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"Yes, we are going up here."
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"- about the library. - Yeah."
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"You know what, actually, just before that..."
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"Mm-hmm, sure."
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"I wanted to ask you about your controversial pardon of Sherman Tanz..."
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"Renee."
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"- Wait till she crosses her legs. - Sure, okay."
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"Things aren't always as black and white as they may seem."
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"- Um... - Now, now, now, now, now."
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"Not that it matters,"
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"- Mm. - mm..."
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"to prison conditions."
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"And he is intimately involved"
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"with every aspect of his company."
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"Now, that being said, he had no idea what was going on."
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"And he immediately fired the number five man in charge"
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"as well as a couple of sixes."
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"- But, you know, the male-dominated media... - Yes."
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"they just can't help themselves."
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"Sadly, it's what I've come to expect"
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"from the gatekeepers of this patriarchal..."
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""phallus quo.""
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"- I apologize. - Phallus!"
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"That's why it's so vital"
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"that we have a school for public policy..."
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"And women's studies."
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"Yeah, holla, holla, holla."
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"Sorry, ma'am."
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"Wendy's mom couldn't babysit today."
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"But we can keep cracking away at that prologue."
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"I've got some exciting ideas."
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"I hope one of them is changing out of that shroud of urine."
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"- Say bye-bye. - It doesn't have to say goodbye."
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"Remember that we have the fundraiser"
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"- for the library tonight. - I do, yes."
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"That's not for them, that's for me."
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"Oh, you are bad!"
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"Agreed."
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"Hey, Dad, can you move your desk?"
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"Gary, you gotta give Mike one of your shirts."
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"They're bespoke tailored."
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"until Mommy and I figure out our new co-living arrangements."
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"Well, I guess I'll just wrap gifts on the sidewalk."
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"I thought you'd be more supportive."
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"Remember in seventh grade when you ran away?"
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"You were crying and crying 'cause you wanted Daddy and I to get back together."
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"Then you sent me to etiquette camp."
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"Did Mike bring his babies?"
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"Those babies are so delicious, I could eat them."
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"Well, that would quiet them down."
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"- Speaking of, Dad, Mom... - Gary."
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"Marjorie and I are having a baby."
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"What?"
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"This is wonderful, wonderful news."
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"Oh, we're not pregnant yet."
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"We're just gonna look for a sperm donor."
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"you're gonna be a grand... ma'am."
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"But I'm only 49."
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"- I have to jet. - Wait, you're leaving now, Andrew?"
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"Hey, just so you guys know,"
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"you gotta be careful with sperm banks."
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"- Did you hear about the one in Georgia? - No."
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"Turns out the guy was actually a mentally ill felon."
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"Why don't you use Gary's sperm? It's just sitting there gathering dust."
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"I mean, if it came to that."
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"God, I wish there were some way we could do this without men."
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"- No offense. - None taken."
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"Okay, I can't look at you, Cape Fear,"
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"until Gary gets you a shirt."
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"- What size are you? - Me? Large."
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"Hey, do you know how they remove a cancerous testicle?"
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"A lot of people think that they just slice one off, right?"
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"and they go in and they grab the testicle,"
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"and they pull it out of the scrotum"
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"and out through the body."
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"Oh, and I know what you're thinking."
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"The one that I still have,"
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"like, it works just fine."
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"Oh, I... yeah."
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"Oh, you can get a dessert or an appetizer, but not both."
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"Dessert, then. I got a sweet tooth."
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"Question... do you have any current pictures of your mother?"
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"I'm gonna need both front and rear."
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"You know, I just gotta run to the bathroom."
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"Oh, the bathrooms are that way."
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"Okay, so who's the big swinging dick"
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"at this fundraising gang bang tonight?"
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"1.5 if we can get his dyslexic daughter into Smith."
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"Well, maybe get her to write the check. Get 5.1 out of him."
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"What do you think about our little girl becoming a mother?"
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"You're being ridiculous."
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"People are gonna think you're the hot, young babysitter."
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"- No, they won't. - Like we played last night."
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"Oh, my God."
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"Stop it, Mr. Meyer."
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"- Do you want a snack or... no? - No, thanks."
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"You have three text messages from Helen Wright."
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"- Is that my phone? - No, my pants didn't vibrate."
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"Oh, that's me. Sorry, I'll get... turn that off."
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"Do you want to hear the messages?"
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"Nah, nah, that's okay."
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