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Clips from Veep - Library (S06E06)

"Okay, just get back."
Veep
"What did Yale say? What did they say exactly?"
Veep
"They said the Sherman Tanz pardon was unsavory"
Veep
"and not in line with the values of Yale."
Veep
"Then they asked for a donation to their annual fund. How much do we send?"
Veep
"Okay, who else do we know that went to Yale that can help us out?"
Veep
"I did. I can call my RA. We're still pretty close."
Veep
"Okay, well, that's, you know..."
Veep
"Well, your undergrad alma mater, Smith College,"
Veep
"said they were open to exploring."
Veep
"Just like a Smith girl, open to exploring."
Veep
"Lesbians would really know how to run a library..."
Veep
"You know, it might not be a bad idea."
Veep
"three hours from New York."
Veep
"And the fall foliage is amazing!"
Veep
"You know what, can I just say something?"
Veep
"Fuck Yale University."
Veep
"- Fuck Yale. - Yeah."
Veep
"I'm not really comfortable with that kind of language."
Veep
"Fuck Yale University."
Veep
"- We're going with Smith. - Ellen. Have you guys seen Ellen?"
Veep
"- Who? - My daughter."
Veep
"I had to bring her to work today, and we're playing hide and seek,"
Veep
"- I'm here, Mike! I'm going to hide again! - Oh, shit!"
Veep
"- Oh, my God. - No, no, we're not hiding anymore."
Veep
"Oh, she's too much!"
Veep
"How the fuck long was that kid here for?"
Veep
"I think just since today, but I can't be sure."
Veep
"We about done, you think?"
Veep
"What?"
Veep
"It may look sunny,"
Veep
"but with temperatures plunging down into the single digits,"
Veep
"the Coney Island Polar Bear Club is really earning its name this year."
Veep
"Hey, guys, wait for me!"
Veep
"Yeah!"
Veep
"All right! Oh!"
Veep
"Oh, my God! God, that's cold!"
Veep
"- Well, obviously... - Denise! I'd cut it."
Veep
"I'm sure that there are some bored housewives out there"
Veep
"that would enjoy ogling your Walter Cronkite,"
Veep
"but to me, it looks like local morning news"
Veep
"from, I don't know, Delaware."
Veep
"- And, yeah, of course. - Denise!"
Veep
"Jane, this piece was your idea. I didn't even wanna do it."
Veep
"Danny, I respect what you are trying to do,"
Veep
"but maybe this isn't the best fit."
Veep
""Not the best fit" the piece or "not the best fit" you and me?"
Veep
"- Mostly the piece. - Hey, Jane!"
Veep
"- You're late. - Okay."
Veep
"Honestly, it could've gone worse."
Veep
"I was standing right there and Furlong didn't invite me"
Veep
"I love paella."
Veep
"Mrs. Furlong likes inviting couples,"
Veep
"not unregistered sex offenders."
Veep
"you will need a committed partner, specifically, a woman."
Veep
"Fuck that dated paradigm!"
Veep
"I am a balling bachelor sexual congressman,"
Veep
"and I will be passing bills by day and smashing gash by night."
Veep
"means you're gayer than a TV evangelist."
Veep
"God damn it! I hate homophobia."
Veep
"If it's any consolation, statistically speaking,"
Veep
"married politicians have more sex with more single women"
Veep
"than single politicians."
Veep
"Fine. Find me Mrs. Ryan."
Veep
"- Okay. - Not my mom."
Veep
"I don't give a damn"
Veep
"but when my opponent spreads lies about my wife?"
Veep
"How dare you, Buddy Calhoun?"
Veep
"- How dare you? - No, he isn't."
Veep
"Can I borrow you for a second, Miss Brookheimer?"
Veep
"I did not do this,"
Veep
"absolutely, positively."
Veep
"Fine, I did it!"
Veep
"But that's my job."
Veep
"Oh, what did you envision, Woody,"
Veep
"that you and Buzz Lightyear would win this election"
Veep
"Will you play that back?"
Veep
"I wanna see him cry again."
Veep
"All right, hit "POTUS SUV.""
Veep
"- Mm-hmm. - Now select playlist."
Veep
"- And voila. - There you go, babe."
Veep
"Hey, who are we meeting with again today?"
Veep
"The President of Smith College, Regina Pell."
Veep
"Gigi Pell. God, that's a blast from the past."
Veep
"No, I don't really remember her that well."
Veep
"Also, estimates for construction are coming in at $300 million."
Veep
"- What? - The money's out there."
Veep
"We just can't get our hands on it right now."
Veep
"How do you get this to read the texts and emails out loud?"
Veep
"I mean, can we reallocate some of the money"
Veep
"from the Meyer Fund to the library?"
Veep
"- Absolutely, yes. - That's actually a felony."
Veep
"So, we just tell them that we have it all..."
Veep
"And then we just shuffle papers around"
Veep
"until it looks like we actually do."
Veep
"- Okay. - That's also a felony."
Veep
"In order to find an ideal match,"
Veep
"the restaurant, table, food, and time"
Veep
"will be the same for every date to establish a control."
Veep
"- The girl will be different. - Jesus, Kent."
Veep
"He's just gotta go to a Laundromat, meet a girl,"
Veep
"I mean, why do you make it so goddamn complicated?"
Veep
"You know, one time, I tried hitting on a girl at a Laundromat."
Veep
"For somebody with broken English, she was real uppity."
Veep
"- There's your answer. - Carry on."
Veep
"Every potential mate has been preselected"
Veep
"from the online dating pool of DC women ages 25 to 30"
Veep
"with a strong interest in marriage to you in particular."
Veep
"Son of a bitch. I'm gonna go broke paying for all those dates."
Veep
"We had to extend to the greater Baltimore, Arlington, Alexandria area"
Veep
"to find them."
Veep
"Well, we got a "maybe" in Delaware."
Veep
"That's right."
Veep
"She's waiting to see your hair grow back."
Veep
"So, maybe five?"
Veep
"I'd budget for four."
Veep
"to raise so much money so quickly."
Veep
"Uh, sweatshirt. Yeah, that's what we call it in my family."
Veep
"Okay, great."
Veep
"Well, this could not come at a better time."
Veep
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