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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015) - Kimmy Can't Help You! (S03E03)

"She just had to... walk the dog."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, okay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's such a big dog for this small apartment."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, my goodness. I caught someone."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's only because these heels are not meant to be worn standing up."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You don't get to decide when I tell people about my heritage, Russ."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And what happened to our plan?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Everything changed in there."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"My father passed the torch to Duke,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"This is America. Speak English."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We have a whole new plan now. It all hit me like a truck."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Ooh!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, God, stop! But thank you for driving electric."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I can't. It ran over my feet first."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Stop! You're slowly crushing him!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Ma'am, please!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, why did I assume it was a woman parking badly?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, my..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's Sunday. You're good."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but today's been a gosh-dang, mother-fudging sugar-show!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
""Let's go smoke by the fence!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We can steal candy bars,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Boy, you are one bad mitten."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What the heck's a "minton"?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
""I told you this wouldn't work!""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wait. Who's she?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, I think we know what you are."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Russ, you know, before I met you,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I was lost, but you pulled me into your heart,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"like your heart got pulled into the wheel well"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"of something called a GEO Sprout."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I mean, you might die, and the waiting room only has Redbook."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Who's that for?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And what's the new plan? I'm so confused."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I feel like Kimmy at a drugstore self-checkout."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I don't know what to do."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"where the most exciting thing that ever happened"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"was when the The Guinness Book of World Records came"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"which was the right move."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"it's time for me to run away again."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Step one... win America's Next Top Model."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And maybe that was your plan the whole time..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"to make me leave and start a new life."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Okay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I guess I'll just stay right here and read about..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Why isn't Kimmy back?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"She better not just be gone."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No, she's coming back."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I can't compete with that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Titus, I've been hurt very badly"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"in my previous relationships"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"by guys who looked real good on paper."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Turns out you're not a good guy"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"He won't cheat on me with my neighbor 'cause he can't."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"He can't scream at me when the Steelers lose."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"He can't flip my cereal bowl in my face and call me a dummy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm in control for once."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We only get to see each other an hour a week."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"If we only see each other one hour a week,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"he'll never realize what a useless piece of crap I am,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And that's what I deserve."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wendy..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You made that bread your bitch, son."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So, Jacqueline... how's Russ?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I just wish we'd figured that out before they put the cast on him."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Don't be ridiculous, Jacqueline."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"if you pushed Russ in front of that car..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"we get it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- But you own the Redskins. - Exactly."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yes, perfect. Say crap like that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Until my little promotion today, I was head of PR for the Redskins."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We'll be bulletproof."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Let's get you and Russ married before God takes him."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You'll never get me!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm better than you! Father."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You brought a priest?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- What? - Wendy needs your help."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No. Titus, I just spent all night doing stuff for myself..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Kimberly, Wendy's like a beautiful, rare Barbie"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"that some boys pulled the arms and legs off of"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and now the family dog is chewing on the connector nubs."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"She's tragic."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Right now she's looking for a deli to get waffles to go."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I even tried to seduce her."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"She's immune to my charm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Like you said, I don't know her."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That description of Wendy is now considered offensive."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"As a society, we've moved on."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Russ is unconscious."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah, that's why it's perfect."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"She's tall, hot, and, for the first time, not inflatable."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, right?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Now, blonde lady... - Thank you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Do you take Russ to have and to hold,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"in just sickness, I guess?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Is this still the plan?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I do."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Titus, come on."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"so I also got fish tacos."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Help her, Kimmy. Don't sign."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I know you need the money, but you'll find another way,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"like two Christian teens who signed an abstinence pledge,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"'cause you're a survivor."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You survived the bunker."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You need a bunker flashback. Those always work."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Plus, it gives me a chance to just hang out and eat some cheese."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Um... bunker flashback."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Galoshes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"How long have you been here?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It ends now!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We were way off."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm going to kill him!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's okay. You're gonna be okay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I just need to get near him!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm hiding an icicle in my butt!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'll stab him in the eye and drive it into his brain!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The Reverend wants to marry you, okay?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah, and I'd only be jealous if he married the cab driver from Wings."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Quick!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
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