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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015) - Kimmy Can't Help You! (S03E03)

"When he comes at me,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"He thinks it'll make us jealous."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Before the icicle melts, just tell me where to go!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm not signing these."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, it is."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We may never get conjugal visits,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but I can stay close to him"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I promised I wouldn't do this,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Shut, wrecker of my joy.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You'll still get that money for college, Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We just have to make a cool, new app."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The auction house, not Christie's Discount Belts."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Ah-ooga!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Amana-amana-amana! Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's Orson Snyder's 75th birthday."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You got him a Ping-Pong paddle?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The Ping-Pong paddle that Forrest Gump used to defeat the Chinese."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Wow. - Mm-hmm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So is Russ coming back for the party?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I should've bought you one of those sexy clear belts I saw at Christie's."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You can see everything."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Step one in our plan to get the Redskins to change their name."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Ooh, let me guess the plan. - Please don't."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You know that's wrong."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"If they choose dare, dare them to change the name."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"They have to do it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"how the game works!""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The Snyders cannot know I'm Sioux. No one can."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, that's no fun. We're the worst."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Jacqueline, I had the most amazing dream."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I bowled a 90."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, hey, Russ."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I thought you were a pile of dirty clothes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well observed, Buckley."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, Jacqueline, you were wrong."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"She's exactly as attractive as Pippi Longstocking."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Thank you!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Jacqueline has been filling me in on Operation Plan."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Don't worry."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The key to the whole thing is me winning over Russ's dad."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yes, Orson Hamrod Snyder."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and he does not like me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So, to truly get Dad to..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Sorry, he hates it when I call him that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"she's gonna have to pretend to dislike me as much as he does."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Then we start phase two."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So tonight we have to get into a huge fight."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, how could I get mad at that face?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I could use that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, Operation Plan has crashed my PowerPoint more than once."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"One could almost say there's too much ClipArt."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But Russ has thought it all out."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"He's the brains. I'm just the beauty... and the muscle."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
""Oh, I'm getting too old for this, sugar.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You're watching Sadsack TV, random stuff from the '70s..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and commercials for dog stairs."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's only been one week since I let Mikey go, Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And being kind, wise, and mature"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"was very hard on me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Now I know why Yoda looked like a piece of dried green poop."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, you promised to give me acting lessons"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I don't have any extracurriculars."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I don't recall making that promise. But I've been forgetting so much lately."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Did I take my medicine? What is this?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Titus, you are home."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You're not my daughter."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Don't you know me? It's your Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Kimmy?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's acting, girl."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, could that be Mikey back already to marry me?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Don't answer that door until I lose 15 pounds."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's a stranger."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Down, Lucifer."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You're gonna make my gun go off by "akskident.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm here with your updated divorce settlement"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"from Reverend Richard Wayne Gary Wayne, aka Dick Wayne, aka DJ Slizzard."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Titus, it's signing time!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh! Let me go get our pen."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wow, you have a lovely home."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So I understand that you're gonna take your portion"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"of the divided assets and pay for college?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Kudos to you. That's wonderful."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wow! They must love you at the frame store."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Let's do this!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Man, I can't even imagine"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"what sad and crazy lady would marry the Reverend on purpose."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Girl, don't give any thought"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"to whatever dusty, crocheted toilet paper doll agreed to that,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"or you'll be too sad to sign."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I mean, I would never speak about another woman that way."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Especially since I'm mystery bitch."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Woof?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You're marrying the Reverend?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's weird."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Is it weird?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Just... Richard and I were so anxious to get started"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"we could actually get married on Fried Chicken Night."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But every age has its forbidden lovers, right?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Kimmy?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Where'd the documents go?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The dog ate them."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"♪ They alive, damn it ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"♪ It's a miracle ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"♪ They alive, damn it ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"♪ It's a miracle ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"♪ They alive, damn it ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I hope I can pull off this fight, Russ."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Try not to get too much Doritos powder on it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Now, we know how this is gonna go."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"My father's gonna stand and give the same toast he always gives,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and it always ends with how we got to do this again in five, ten, 100 years,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"'cause try as hard as you want, God, he's never gonna die."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"As soon as he's done,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah, I know."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Lucifer is an Australian paper hound,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and they're bred to eat homework."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Lucifer, hush."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, hold on, guys."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'll just get another set of documents..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Let me just... Let me just make a call."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
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