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Clips from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005) - The D.E.N.N.I.S. System (S05E05)

"Well, no, it's not ugly. It's just, you know- It's unique."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"So what's this new job? I work at the fair."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You're working at the fair! Well, look at us, you know?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I'm a plumber. You're a fair worker. They go well together, right?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Get out of my apartment. Oh, all right."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I don't know. I did everything right, and I can't get past the letter "D," dude."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Well, what did you do exactly? - I broke into her place."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I ripped her sink apart. I brought a bag of hair. You know what I mean?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Because nothing that you just described sounds correct."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"doing scary voices."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Do you know anything about plumbing? - Uh... no."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Maybe that's my system. She got a job at the fair. It could be fun to stalk around a fair."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Okay, clearly none of you have any idea how to run my system!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Goddamn- All right. I'm gonna get everybody what they want, including myself."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Let me just think for a second."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"What's he doing?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"We're going to the fair."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Mmm!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"That will provide the perfect setting for all of our needs to be met."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You will demonstrate your value to the waitress by winning a prize at her booth."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"No, that's dead wrong actually."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You're gonna do this by flirting with a carney in front of him."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I need you to resume your role as the thoughtful roommate and invite Caylee out to the fair."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- How you gonna do that? - I gotta get myself a grandmother."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"and you're gonna act like my grandma, okay?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Well, hello! This is a coincidence, huh?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"No, it's not. No, it's not. But it's exciting, isn't it?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"So, what game do we have here? What game is this?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Speed Pitch. That's all you do? You throw a pitch?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Then I guess I'll demonstrate my value to you by firing off a wicked hot fastball, huh?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You know this game is for children, right?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I don't care that it's for kids. All right? Let me demonstrate my value to you. Please!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh. Hi, Mac, Caylee. I didn't see you there."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- What are you doing here? - This is my nana."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"She's on the mend, so I wanted to get her out of the house."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"My grandmother was a lesbian."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I like turtles. Okay."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Ooh, look! A carney!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"## Ooh! Eh. Frank! Hey, Frank! What are you doing?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Leave us alone. What? What? Just listen to me for one second, okay?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Hello. Dr. Toboggan. Nice to meet you. Hi."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Frank, what are you doing?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Actually, it's Mantis. Mantis Toboggan, M.D."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I got your test results. You're positive. You got the H.I.V."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I'm breaking her down. I'm making her feel worthless. You see?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- ## Get it? - There is an order here, dude! Get back in line!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"No! No more thirds for Frankie! Seconds from now on!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"All right! That was rough!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Hey, Speed Pitch. You want to play? Okay."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Yeah. Yeah! Oh, shit. Ben, look. A carney."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Ow, you stabbed me! He stabbed me with a key!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Will someone- someone call a doctor! Ow!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You idiot! Why would you stab me? I was flirting with you!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"What? You want to have me stabbed?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I was gonna protect you from the stabbing."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Wrong! Wrong!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You're supposed to let her get stabbed, hope that it hits a main artery,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"and then as she's dying you nurse her back to health,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"See, this is why nobody should be going off my system!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"What do you mean, "Off your system?""
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Ben's the only one who's using it properly."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You had your face painted like a goddamn frog person and you have no ulterior motive here?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- I'm a lizard. - Oh, whoops! Oh!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I'll give you a ride! Thank you."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Dee, I don't like you. Well, how is that possible?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You're a mean person."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You work at a fair, carney! Don't call her a carney, man."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I don't need you to take up for me! Get out of here!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Idiots ruining my system. Everybody ruins my system! Nobody gets it!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, system, my ass. I hate carnivals."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I need a ride."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Is there anybody out there that could take me home?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"ENGLISH - US - PSDH"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Whoa, that's amazing. That's the best one yet. Yeah, it's a really good one."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"That makes it sound cool, makes it sound exclusive."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Yeah. You see, I'm on the couch when they come in and ask to be alone."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- And then I say- - Oh. Well, I guess we could eat the pizza on my bed..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"And once we're on my bed, it is game over."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You're gonna want to nurture that dependence that she's feeling on you now, guys."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Have her car towed."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"But you're not gonna do that. You're gonna do the exact opposite."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Cancel all your plans."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"and coerced affection from a man who is afraid to love."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"never to talk to her again."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Actually, Dee, they end up loving me more than they ever thought was possible."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I could absolutely get that girl back anytime I want. I just choose not to."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Whee! Man stuff!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"and you don't even know it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"He's not doing anything. Big time!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Uh, yeah. I looked into it. There's no, um, Dr. Toboggan in Philadelphia either."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I'm swooping in on your chick. What? No."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, that's my system. The M.A.C. "Move-in After Completion.""
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- What are you two dickheads doing here? - What are you doing here?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Okay, just stop right there. Okay."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I'm gonna depend on you to get home!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Dee, do you want to go? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I wanna go, but not with you!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- I'm independent, and I don't need you! - Wait!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Good, dude! Then I give her the prize and that's good!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I mean, what prizes are there?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Well? How does it look?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Sixty-four!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"My system of seduction that I used to win your heart,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Ben, explain the system. - I don't know what you're talking about."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I'm out of here."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I told her, "It's for my grandmother. She's quite ill.""
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"that's a different story."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
""Engage physically.""
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Lose the tie. You're way overdressed. I got a new angle."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Fifteen. Fifteen."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Wait a second, Frank. He's right. It's a delicate ecosystem."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Then you can crank the A.C. , cool the car off for me. Okay. Sure thing."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- You're forging prescriptions now? - That's the easy part, Dee."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Either way, make her depend on you for rides."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"And then, naturally, we bang."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I just want to say that I'm really sorry for everything that went down between us."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"There are no prizes, Charlie."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Or you can use my personal go-to,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"What's happening?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I got my magnum condoms. I got my wad of hundreds. I'm ready to plow."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
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