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Clips from Umbrella Academy - Valhalla (S02E02)

"Can you get Vanya without, uh, squeezing her to death?"
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"I'll try."
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"Uh..."
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"What should I do?"
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"Prepare for company."
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"[Carl] Oh, you should've seen it."
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"He said, "All the HoJo's in the Southwest District.""
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"And I said, "All the HoJo's?" 'Cause I wasn't sure if I heard him right."
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"And he said, "Yup! All the HoJo's.""
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"Vanya, did you hear the news?"
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"How would she, Carl? She doesn't subscribe to Showerheads Today."
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"[Carl] I'm in such a good mood,"
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"I'm gonna let that jape pass without comment."
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"[Sissy] That is a comment."
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"[Carl] Vanya, you are lookin' at the man"
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"who has closed the biggest deal ever"
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"for Waterton Shower and Shower Accessories Limited."
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"[Carl] Thank you, Vanya."
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"You see, Sissy?"
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"That is how you congratulate the consummate conquering breadwinner."
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"Carl, stop."
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"Baby, I got such a day planned for the three of us."
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"First, we'll hit up the Egyptian Room breakfast buffet,"
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"then watch some mutton bustin',"
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"and then take it to Cattlemen's for a big ole steak. Mmm..."
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"Hey, Vanya."
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"-[Carl chuckles] -[Sissy] Carl, stop."
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"[Carl scoffs] Harlan don't care."
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"I just want a kiss."
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"-Well, you're gonna have to. -[Vanya] Carl."
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"-Stay out of this, Vanya. -[Carl] Sissy."
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"-[buzzing grows louder] -The hell's going on with you?"
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"-of you not listening! -[slams table]"
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"[Carl] What in the hell was that?"
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"Harlan, honey?"
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"Let's get your shoes on. Come on."
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"Are you okay?"
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"Just spending the day with my family."
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"Well, I was in the process of executing our mission,"
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"-Oh, my. -And now my cover's blown."
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"Five wants to kill me, and I don't know what the hell it is you're after."
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"Did you bring me what I asked for?"
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"[Lila] Here."
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"Diego's knife."
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"-[Handler] Sit. -No."
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"Yes, you're bleeding, and all that rage is bad for your complexion. Sit."
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"[Lila] Fine, but I'm not done being mad at you."
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"[Handler] You're right."
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"I have been lying to you."
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"Commission..."
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"-has no idea... -[gasps softly]"
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"making something right..."
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"that has been wrong for a very, very long time."
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"-Just about done with your riddles, Mum. -Oh, are you just about done now?"
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"You've done a couple missions, now you know everything? Huh? Is that it?"
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"Big Lila, all in charge, not trusting her mother,"
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"her mother who yanked her out of that horrid little slum,"
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"her mother who taught her how to live, how to love,"
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"-how to survive? -You just said you lied."
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"Grow up, buttercup."
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"but you didn't, and so I didn't,"
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"and everything worked out just fine."
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"No, it hasn't. I lost Five."
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"Is he dead?"
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"-that's not a problem at all. -Why not?"
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"Well, because..."
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"I have a very busy day scheduled for us."
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"Oh... Ugh."
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"[Elliott] Y'all know, Jell-O used to be a delicacy."
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"You know, in order to make it,"
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"you gotta boil down a whole mess of hooves..."
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"It wasn't until, uh..."
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"figured out how to dry it out so that the rest of us"
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"could have a... a chance to enjoy this ambrosia."
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"If we have some, will you shut up?"
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"Here."
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"How you feeling?"
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"Pretty shitty, to be honest."
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"Where would you say you are on a scale from one to..."
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"ending all life on this planet?"
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"Really?"
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"The last time I saw this one, she had me suspended midair,"
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"sucking the life out of me with energy tentacles."
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"I think I'm allowed a little time to process."
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"I don't remember what I did,  but I'm sorry..."
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"if... if that means anything."
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"It does."
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"There's this..."
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"girl that I like."
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"-[door opens] -[Allison laughs]"
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"Oh, thank God."
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"[Allison] Is anyone here?"
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"Hello?"
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"[Klaus] Le petit mort, le petit mort."
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"-[Allison] What? You don't speak French. -[Klaus] It's "the little death.""
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"[Klaus] Oh, wow. Look at this old stuff."
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"Oh, wow."
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"I know this is impossible, but..."
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"did we all get sexier?"
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"Vanya."
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"I can't believe I have a sister."
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"I missed you."
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"Thank God someone did. [chuckles softly]"
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"Yeah. No, just a little... just a few..."
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"Oh, that's so sweet."
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"Oh, uh... no."
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"No, unfortunately, ghosts can't time travel."
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"[Five] All right, then. Let's get down to business."
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"-[Klaus] So, Vanny, what's new? -Hey, Diego."
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"-Can't say hi to nobody? -Hi, Allison."
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"What was that?"
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"-Hi, Allison! -Thank you!"
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"Why are we here?"
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"[Handler] You were always a climber, darling."
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"[shushing]"
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"[meowing]"
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"All right. First off, I wanna say I'm sorry."
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"I know I really screwed the pooch on this whole"
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"going-back-in-time-and-getting-stuck thing."
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"But the real kick in the pants here"
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