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Clips from Umbrella Academy - Valhalla (S02E02)

"Mmm!"
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"-[flask clatters] -Hey, uh, excuse me."
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"-Attagirl. -[Allison] I've got a blender"
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"and some much better booze."
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"So, if we're gonna start day-drinking, we should do it right."
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"-[whimpers] I love you so much. -[chuckles]"
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"Yeah. Yeah!"
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"Morning."
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"Hey. Is that coffee?"
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"Want some?"
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"-What time is it? -[Sissy sighs]"
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"I don't know, and I don't care."
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"Yeah, you do."
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"Oh, my God."
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"I think we've earned a day off."
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"A few hours."
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"Hush up."
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"What is it?"
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"and real things end."
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"This feels sweeter than that."
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"You know yesterday when you were talking about us running away?"
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"-What if we could? -[Sissy] Where would we go?"
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"Somewhere safe for Harlan and..."
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"where we could be together like this"
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"all the time."
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"-[dog barks outside] -[Sissy chuckles]"
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"-[dog barks] -[horn honks]"
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"Oh, shit."
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"-[Luther] Wait, who? -Those Dutch sociopaths."
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"They're Swedish, you idiot."
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"Hired guns paid to eradicate us"
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"before we do any more damage to this timeline."
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"Yeah, but why now? I mean, I'm... [snaps fingers]"
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"...fine for three months until you showed up."
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"Even if it was my fault, which it isn't,"
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"Well... [sighs]"
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"I saw him."
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"Five?"
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"-Allis-- -Allison!"
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"Two-ninety-two..."
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"Two-ninety-three."
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"Hey, um, I'm seven cents short."
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"Uh... give me what you got."
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"Damn it."
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"Sorry about that."
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"Thanks."
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"[groans]"
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"That boy stinks."
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"[brakes hissing]"
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"[sighs] Home."
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"[exhales] "This is gonna sound crazy,"
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"but, Reginald Hargreeves..."
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"[Four Holidays' "He Can't Love You" plays on radio]"
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"[people chattering]"
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"[woman 1] Let's get back on that dance floor."
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"-Whoo-hoo! -[woman 2] Yes!"
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"♪ He can't love you ♪"
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"[woman 3] He stinks."
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"-♪ He can't love you ♪ -♪ He can't love you ♪"
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"-♪ He can't love you ♪ -♪ Naw ♪"
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"♪ Don't you know that He just can't make it ♪"
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"-♪ Better ♪ -♪ Better, better ♪"
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"-♪ Better ♪ -♪ Oh, better than I can... ♪"
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"Dad?"
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"[Reginald] Please, the world's never going to end in such a cliché."
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"Believe me."
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"I know how endings feel."
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"Reg, with all these bombs and big red buttons,"
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"we're bloody close to the end of the world."
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"-Even a fool can see that. -[Reginald] I will give you this:"
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"especially if time is concerned."
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"Even if you knew everything there is to know about right now,"
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"you could never predict what will happen next."
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"Some events, however, are more likely than others."
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"I am going to get another glass of champagne."
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"[group laughs]"
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"This is gonna sound crazy, but, uh..."
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"No, you're not."
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"-But, no, I'm... I'm from the future. -[Reginald] No, you're not."
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"You adopted me and six other children in 1989."
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"I know about the moon base."
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"I know about all your experiments with monkeys."
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"Look, I know everything about you."
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"Please..."
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"Listen, I don't know who sent you"
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"but you can run back to your masters at CIA or KGB"
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"What? Why? Why is it ridiculous?"
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"You know time travel is possible."
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"I have a deep dislike of children."
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"I do not have them, nor do I intend to have them,"
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"but if for some reason I did,"
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"I would expect more from them than a scruffy face,"
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"But..."
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"I took a bus."
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"and get out of my house."
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"-[people whispering] -[somber instrumental music playing]"
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"-[Diego] That's pathetic. -[Luther] Yeah, well,"
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"-at least he didn't shank my ass. -[Diego] No, bro,"
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"he shanked your heart."
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"[Luther] Mm."
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"Is that my bathrobe?"
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"-No. -[Five] Look, who cares what he shanked?"
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"-He knows something about time travel. -[Elliott] Um..."
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"Wait, why don't you just do your thing and, uh, time travel us out?"
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"Anyone care to explain?"
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"First time he tried, he got lost in the apocalypse."
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"Second time, he ended up without hair on his balls."
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"Last time I tried,"
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"possibly triggering a doomsday."
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"-Uh, no. -[Diego] You're missing the big picture."
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"-A cabal? -[Five] Ignore him."
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"Look, the way I see it, we only have one option."
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"[Luther] Oh, yeah? And what's that?"
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"It's time to get the Umbrella Academy back together."
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"Hell, yeah. Family meeting."
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"Okay then, can one of you get Allison, please?"
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"-Do we need to talk? -No, she's married."
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"Whoa. Dude, that's rough."
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"I can handle it. [chuckles]"
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"I'll get her."
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