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Clips from The Golden Girls - Big Daddy (S01E01)

"- Daddy! - Where's the old lady? Ah-ha!"
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"You looking for me, mouth?"
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"Ma. I'm glad you're here, Mr. Barton."
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"This isn't a social call."
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"This morning, when I got in my car, somebody let the air out of my tire."
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"- I know she did it! - That's ridiculous!"
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"If I catch her on my property, I'm gonna have her arrested."
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"Mr. Barton, I assure you, my mother had nothing to do with your tires."
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"- It was just a coincidence. - Coincidence, my eye."
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"Now, about the tree. I got a copy of our property map"
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"at the courthouse this morning, and as you can clearly see, the tree is yours."
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"Oh. I'm not gonna move it."
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"- Not after what she did. - You have to!"
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"- Sue me! - We will!"
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"- Fine! - Fine!"
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"That jerk! Trying to intimidate us! Just who does he think he is?"
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"(doorbell"
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"What is it, mouth?"
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"Back home, most people start off with, "How do?""
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"- Daddy! - Baby girl!"
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"Looking at you takes my breath away!"
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"Hair as shiny as the dew on a field of sunflowers."
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"and the prettiest smile on either side of the Mason-Dixon Line!"
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"Didn't I tell you my daddy was the smartest man who ever lived?"
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"You must be Sophia. It's a pleasure to meet you."
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"Excuse me for staring, ma'am,"
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"but I've always felt that the stunning, classical beauty of an Italian woman"
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"should be admired like a fine work of art."
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"You need boots to listen to this guy."
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"- Charmed. - Hello, how do you do?"
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"Has anyone ever told you you are the spitting image of Miss Dinah Shore?"
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"Oh, no! You're putting me on!"
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"And Daddy, this is Dorothy."
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"I'm sorry. I hope I didn't offend you."
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"No harm done, darling."
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"Now, I want you to promise me you won't fret none."
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"Well, I would, except I'm not exactly sure what "fret none" is."
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"Oh, Daddy, I'm so glad to see you!"
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"- Get on over here and sit down. - Oh, I can't stay, honey."
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"- I've got some business to attend to. - Oh."
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"But I'll be back later tonight. I got a surprise for you!"
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"Oh, did you get me something? What is it?"
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"- What did you buy for me, Daddy? - Well, nothing, sugar."
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"Oh, fiddle-dee-dee."
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"Fiddle-dee-dee?"
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"This is so much fun! It's like being in Gone with the Wind."
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"Well, then what is the surprise Daddy?"
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"Well, I was gonna save it, but what the heck?"
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"I'm singing at the Sagebrush Club tomorrow night."
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"You're doing what?"
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"I'm singing. That's my surprise."
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"And I want you and your friends to come as my guests."
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"But why?"
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"Because, darling, I thought they might enjoy it."
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"No, no, I mean why are you singing?"
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"It's my calling. It's what I do now."
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"I'll explain it all to you later."
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"Right now, I got to head over to the club and check things out."
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"- But, but Daddy? - Leave the key under the mat."
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"Ladies, see y'all later!"
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"Uh, I can't believe it!"
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"Neither can I! Free tickets!"
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"No, I'm talking about my daddy!"
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"You know, I'm worried about him."
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"Oh, come on, Blanche, you're overreacting!"
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"If you're really concerned, why don't you talk to him?"
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"You're right. That's what I'm gonna do."
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"I'm gonna stay completely objective and keep an open mind."
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"I'm sure there's some perfectly logical explanation"
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"why my daddy's lost the stuffin' out of his comforter."
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"Well, that's all right. I waited up for you."
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"I'm glad you did. I've been working on a new song and I want you to hear it."
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"Listen, Daddy, I want to talk to you about this singing."
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"It's been just wonderful, honey. I love singing."
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"Now, I know I'm just getting started and I got a lot to learn,"
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"but the audiences will come around. I'll do just fine."
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"You know, you're talking about this singing like it's some kind of career."
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"Well, it is. Now, see what you think of this."
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"This part needs a little work. And then now, here's the chorus."
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"No you won't, Daddy."
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"Now, put that guitar down, I wanna talk to you."
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"What's the matter?"
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"Well, I don't know what's gotten into you."
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"Daddy, you're no singer."
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"Well, I know I'm no Hank Williams yet, but..."
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"No, no, no, that's not what I meant. I mean..."
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"At your age, just out of nowhere to decide you're just gonna go off"
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"and perform in some honky-tonk?"
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"I don't know about you, but that sounds pretty crazy to me."
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"Now, don't you sass me, missy."
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"No, I don't mean to sass you, Daddy."
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"It's just that I'm concerned about you."
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"Now, I want you to promise me that you're gonna forget all about"
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"this nonsense and go back to Twin Oaks and have a nice long rest."
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"There's no Twin Oaks to go back to. I sold it."
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"You what?!"
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"Sold it. Sold everything."
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"Well, now, if I'm gonna go out on the road and do this thing right,"
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"I need money."
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"I will not allow you to disgrace yourself or your family!"
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"I absolutely forbid you to go on with this foolishness one minute longer!"
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"You forbid Big Daddy? You're the one's gone crazy, girl!"
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"I'm sorry you had to witness this spectacle, ladies."
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"My apologies."
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"- Oh, Big Daddy, wait. - Too late!"
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"You know, if there was some rain coming down,"
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"and a soft train whistle in the distance,"
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"this moment would have the makings of a first-rate country song."
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"Bye, Blanche."
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"Oh, I feel awful, just awful! I shouldn't have lost my temper that way."
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"Daddy obviously doesn't know what he's doing."
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"He's lost his grip on reality."
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"Oh, honey. Maybe it's not as serious as you think."
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"Maybe he's just going through a stage."
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"My father is not off on some crazy lark, Dorothy."
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"He sold our house and our land"
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"and everything he spent his lifetime building. He needs help."
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"I never thought this could happen to my father."
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"Other people's parents get old and grow frail and need taking care of,"
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"but somehow I'd always thought Big Daddy would go on forever."
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