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Clips from How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Romance (S01E01)

"Mere alcohol cannot stop this brain."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Drink, drink, drink... - Drink, drink, drink..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"This brain, dear mortals, is no ordinary brain."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"...drink, drink, drink... ...drink, drink, drink..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"This is a super brain."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And, really, the next thing I remember is waking up the following morning,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, there were some unanswered questions,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"How much did I drink?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"How did I sprain my ankle?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(GROANING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And who was this girl in my bed?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"There's a rock star."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You really don't remember, super brain?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily filled me in,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- And how'd you guys like the shots? - I drank all five, bitch!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I love drunk Ted. - Marshall thinks you're a vampire."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(LAUGHING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"If he pukes, one of you guys cleans it up."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(STUTTERING) No... Oh, damn it!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I am vomit-free since '93."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Vomit-free since '93. That's funny. I'm funny!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Who are you calling? - Robin."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Bad idea jeans."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, no, it's a great idea. That's the whole point of getting drunk."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You do things you'd never do in a million years if you were sober."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Says every girl you've ever slept with."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Hi, Ted. - Hello, Robin, it's Ted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hi, Ted. Sounds like you're having fun."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Robin, have I ever told you that I am vomit-free since '93?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, listen, Ted, I can't really talk right..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ninety-three? Dude, that's impressive."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Robin, you know, I don't say this enough, but you're a great woman!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And a great reporter. You should be on 60 Minutes,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, that's sweet and odd, but I'm kind of on a date right now."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, and I disagree with Barney."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Just 'cause this guy is spending a lot of money"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"doesn't mean you have to put out."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Slow. - Bye, Ted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Friends don't let friends drink and dial."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I need that phone back! - You'll get this back at the end of class."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Thank you, kind sir!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"At least someone appreciates the fact that I am doing and not thinking."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And now, I don't think I won't not go to the bathroom."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Was that necessary? He is not making smart decisions."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Exactly! It's like, what's he gonna do next? I don't know, but I want to find out!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Cheap Trick. Oh, Ted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(CELLPHONE RINGING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hello again, Ted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SINGING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I love everyone in this bar!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, that explains the ankle."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And then we brought you home and put you to bed."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Was there anyone else in there with me?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- (WHISPERING) There's a girl in there. - (WHISPERING) I know."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- And a pineapple. - I know!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Who is she? - I don't know."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That girl in there is alive, right?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I should call Barney. Maybe he knows what happened."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(BEEPING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hello."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The porcelain keeps the suit from wrinkling."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Wait, were you here when I went to the bathroom"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- in the middle of the night? - Don't worry, I slept through it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I totally didn't sleep through it!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, and, wow, for a little girl you got a big tank."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"How did you get in here, anyway? We put Ted to bed around 1:00."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, you put Ted to bed all right."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I love you guys so much."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Good night, Ted. - Love you, too, buddy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm back, baby doll!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm back, baby doll!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Carl, two more. All right, all right. What do we think of this one?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You know what time it is? It's do o'clock."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Let's ride. - Bring it!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hi."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Have you met Ted? He..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Excuse me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- You're calling Robin. - I'm calling Robin."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted, as your mentor and spiritual guide, I forbid you from calling her."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, yeah? What you gonna do?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"If you complete that call, I will set your coat on fire."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You're bluffing."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(PEOPLE CHATTERING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hello, Robin, it's Ted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted, for the last time, stop..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(TED SCREAMING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You set me on fire."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Real suede wouldn't have gone up so fast. You got robbed. This is a blend."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You set me on fire!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And who's the girl in my bed?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"There's a girl in your bed."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And a pineapple! Am I the only one who's curious about the pineapple?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Who is she? - I have no idea."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Nice."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You really don't know who that is?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No. After I hosed you down with the beverage gun,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I brought you back here."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I better not have gotten burned."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Did any of you write that?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
""Hi, I'm Ted. If lost please call...""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Whose number is that? - I don't know."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Dude, call it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(PHONE RINGING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- CARL; Hello, - Hi. Who is this?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- You called me, Who's this? - It's Ted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED; And then Carl filled us in,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Barney, you've always taken care of me. You are a gentleman and a scholar!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Go into my stable and take my finest stallion."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"He's yours. His name is Windjammer."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Sleep it off, bro."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm back, baby doll!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Vomit-free since '05 doesn't sound good."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Sorry, Carl, go on."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Carl?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Did you know the word "karaoke" is Japanese for empty orchestra?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Are you a vampire?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"All right. I'm cutting you off. Go home and get some sleep, Ted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, sun's gonna come up soon."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Wouldn't want to be around for that, would we?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
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