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Clips from Superstore (2015) - Employee App (S05E05)

"Oh, my God."
Superstore (2015)
"Her heartbeat is stable, so that's good."
Superstore (2015)
"$250?!"
Superstore (2015)
"don't even get out of their cars,"
Superstore (2015)
"Wow, you do not look like someone"
Superstore (2015)
"Sorry, I meant to say that I also have"
Superstore (2015)
"Um, [stammers] I'm gonna go make a call"
Superstore (2015)
"For anyone who hasn't already downloaded"
Superstore (2015)
"the Zephra employee app, you need to."
Superstore (2015)
"There's a bunch of cool features."
Superstore (2015)
"For one, you get points for helping customers..."
Superstore (2015)
"Ooh, I want points."
Superstore (2015)
"- Ooh, me too. - What do points do?"
Superstore (2015)
"Looks like ten points get you a badge,"
Superstore (2015)
"- Ooh. - And what do banners get you?"
Superstore (2015)
"I don't know, Jonah, the moon."
Superstore (2015)
"God, ten times a day with this guy."
Superstore (2015)
""What do banners get you?""
Superstore (2015)
"It also uses your location data"
Superstore (2015)
"to automatically clock you in"
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"- Extra half-hour? - Glenn, what is your"
Superstore (2015)
"- clock-in process? - Oh, it's very involved."
Superstore (2015)
"Can we all talk about whether it's an invasion of privacy"
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"for Zephra to force us to download something"
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"that can track our phones?"
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"- No, thank you. - That's kinda boring."
Superstore (2015)
"That's what every app does."
Superstore (2015)
"Great debate, guys. It's very useful."
Superstore (2015)
"Also there's a product locator, an inventory map,"
Superstore (2015)
"and, uh, oh... your Z-Shelf comes with"
Superstore (2015)
"the CEO's autobiography and an audio version"
Superstore (2015)
"read by Emily Deschanel from "Bones.""
Superstore (2015)
"- Wow. - What?"
Superstore (2015)
"- Love her. - I'm a total "Bones" - head."
Superstore (2015)
"How are we supposed to use any of this stuff"
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"when we're not even allowed to have our phones on the floor?"
Superstore (2015)
"The new policy says that you can have your phones now."
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"In fact, you are expected to carry them."
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"[gasps]"
Superstore (2015)
"Holy [bleep]."
Superstore (2015)
"[laughter] I am so happy right now."
Superstore (2015)
"So to reiterate, we must download an app that can"
Superstore (2015)
"track our phones, and then we must carry"
Superstore (2015)
"our phones at all times."
Superstore (2015)
"And everybody here is just, like, fine with that?"
Superstore (2015)
"- Yes. - Pretty much."
Superstore (2015)
"- [scoffs] - "Who Run the World? Me""
Superstore (2015)
"by Kira Moon. Read by Emily Deschanel."
Superstore (2015)
"read the phone book."
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"I had nothing but a seed loan from my father..."
Superstore (2015)
"[lively music]"
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"I linked the app to my Facebook and checking accounts."
Superstore (2015)
"to get my address, my contacts, and all of my passwords."
Superstore (2015)
"from "Cats" I am."
Superstore (2015)
"- Macavity, the magical one. - What do you think"
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"they're gonna do with that information, anyway?"
Superstore (2015)
"and then just send you ads for things you were talking about."
Superstore (2015)
"- That just seems thoughtful. - Yeah, but then they can just"
Superstore (2015)
"package your data and sell it to other companies."
Superstore (2015)
"I'm... I'm not doing it justice."
Superstore (2015)
"So you think you're so fascinating that Zephra's"
Superstore (2015)
"dying to learn which Beach House album you just preordered?"
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"Ah, the "I've got nothing to hide" argument."
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"- Where have I heard that before? - Bible camp."
Superstore (2015)
""In Christ I have nothing to hide, nothing to prove,"
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"Maybe."
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"Is it supposed to be you or, like, a depressing,"
Superstore (2015)
"aged-up Dora?"
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"No, it's me."
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"You can design your own avatar on the app."
Superstore (2015)
"And the purple streak in your hair?"
Superstore (2015)
"Well, yeah, that's just for fun."
Superstore (2015)
"To see what it would look like. I mean, it's not like I could"
Superstore (2015)
"actually pull that off in real life, right?"
Superstore (2015)
"Oh, yeah, definitely."
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"Oh, knock yourself out."
Superstore (2015)
"I never got into the whole texting fad."
Superstore (2015)
"- Really? You've texted me. - Yeah, to convey information,"
Superstore (2015)
"It's, like, what's the point?"
Superstore (2015)
"Well, sometimes you just feel like sending someone an emoji"
Superstore (2015)
"or, like, a GIF from a movie."
Superstore (2015)
"Why? Why would you do that to someone?"
Superstore (2015)
"Huh. Oh, that does kinda look like me."
Superstore (2015)
"Yeah, and you can change the facial expressions."
Superstore (2015)
"People are always telling me I'd be a beautiful Indian woman."
Superstore (2015)
"Who... who... who says that?"
Superstore (2015)
"Every time you take a trip back and forth"
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"to the stock room, you earn points."
Superstore (2015)
"I'm already at "Stockroom Fiend.""
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"If I ever get "Stockroom Fiend" again, kill me."
Superstore (2015)
"[chuckles] Seriously."
Superstore (2015)
"If you click on the little clock on the bottom,"
Superstore (2015)
"it tells you how much time you have left on your break."
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"- Wait, what? - Yup. Eight minutes."
Superstore (2015)
"Wait, they're timing our breaks now?"
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"How do they even know that we're in the break room?"
Superstore (2015)
"- Hold on. - It's GPS probably."
Superstore (2015)
"I bet it's GPS."
Superstore (2015)
"So we're only allowed to be in the break room"
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"if we're actually on break now?"
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"Okay, it stops counting out here."
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"This isn't even a break. This is just..."
Superstore (2015)
"unofficial break room time."
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"And now it's counting down again."
Superstore (2015)
"GPS. Global Positioning System."
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"You can't fit a whole 15-minute break into just 15 minutes."
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"I can't relax if I know I'm being timed."
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"It's too much pressure."
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"Stopped. Started. Stopped."
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"That way they won't know when we're in here."
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"- A break without your phone? - Do you hear yourself?"
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"Jesus, Justine, either help or keep quiet."
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"Now it's stopped again."
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"I'm 70% sure this is what it is."
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"- Oh, yeah? - Yeah, try it on."
Superstore (2015)
"What... what am I looking at here?"
Superstore (2015)
"It's a hat lined with tin foil"
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"so Zephra can't hack into your thoughts."
Superstore (2015)
"- Okay, all right, I get it. - So I'm just some sort of, like,"
Superstore (2015)
"- its employees' phone activity. - Shh."
Superstore (2015)
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