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Clips from The Simpsons - Warrin' Priests (S31E31)

"our new youth minister Bode Wright."
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"(confused chatter)"
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"Thanks. That's very meek. Jesus would've loved it."
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"I was thinking, while the reverend rests his voice,"
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"maybe we could all sing a song."
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"Uh, Rev, if that's okay with you, um, cough once."
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"(coughs twice)"
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"We did not establish what two coughs means,"
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"so I'll take that to mean two yeses."
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"(congregation laughs)"
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"Why don't we sing, I don't know,"
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""grace, comma, amazing.""
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"(playing "Amazing Grace")"
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"¶ Amazing grace, how sweet the sound ¶"
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"¶ That saved a wretch like me ¶"
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"¶ I once was lost but now I'm found ¶"
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"This is the most exciting thing that ever happened"
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"All these years of mediocre grace."
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"Finally, it's amazing."
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"This must've been what it was like"
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"at Jesus's concerts."
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"(electric guitar playing)"
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"we'd like to do a couple of new psalms."
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"(crowd boos)"
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"-¶ Hallelujah, hallelu ¶ -¶ Hallelujah ¶"
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"¶ Hallelujah. ¶"
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"happening at the church."
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"Let's check it out."
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"I know most of you usually save your "hallelujahs""
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"for when church is over."
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"(laughs) I adore the informality."
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"But if it's okay, I thought maybe I could just speak"
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"to you guys straight from my heart."
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"I don't have anything planned,"
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"Church. Pastor."
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"Makes sense I should talk about God."
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"(congregation gasps)"
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"No God?"
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"Fingers in your ears, boys."
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"Till you can feel the brain."
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"I-I just woke up with some doubt."
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"There's so much pain and suffering in the world,"
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"I wasn't sure anyone was really out there."
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"Watching us. On a cloud."
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"That's how we think of God, right?"
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"To many of us, God is just an angry, old miser"
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"Everyone picks on the miser."
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"Shave faster or no tip!"
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"Hurry up. I'm going to a funeral."
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"Oh, you're going to a funeral, all right."
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"Oh, this is taking too long."
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"Then I got quiet and thought about it."
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"It hit me that maybe God isn't up there, you know."
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""Somewhere else.""
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"Maybe God's right here and now."
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"As close as the air on your skin."
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"Life is worth living."
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"Hey, forget that hit I called on myself, huh?"
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"Yeah, well, I said too late."
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"Okay, 40%."
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"And you can only cancel on the app."
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"All right, I-I'll just, uh..."
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"My screen is frozen!"
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"that we create and remember together."
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"or angry at us because we're alcoholics."
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"(sighs)"
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"Finally, recognized for my accomplishments."
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"I think so many of us have made a God that's like us,"
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"instead of the other way around."
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"He made thousands of different flowers--"
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"roses, lilies, orchids--"
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"But He loves all of them indiscriminately."
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"Just like the bees."
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"You have made this bumblebee a humble bee."
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"Jesus said, "Let the weeds grow with the wheat.""
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"Go easy on yourself."
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"You don't have to earn God's love."
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"You are God's love."
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"All right, that's it."
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"I know it's early, but it's a beautiful day."
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"Let's get out of here."
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"Sorry, concert's over, dude."
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"All that's left is the merch."
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"(chanting): Bode! Bode! Bode!"
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"CONGREGATION (chanting): Bode! Bode! Bode!"
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"Three cheers for Reverend Lovejoy."
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"Stupid Flanders."
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"CONGREGATION: Stupid Flanders!"
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"I love church."
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"Are those new vestments?"
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"You don't have to patronize me, Ned."
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"You're, y-you're right, I'm sorry."
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"Y-You did not do well today."
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"Oh, go back to patronizing."
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"Maybe something about my shoes?"
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"Helen tied them."
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"Uh, Pastor, would you like to say grace?"
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"(clears throat) Lord--"
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"Oh, sorry, I should have been more specific."
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"I meant the cool new pastor everyone likes."
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"(laughs) You can sit down."
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"You know, I think the food is good"
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"without me saying it's good."
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"God made it good."
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"there's no need to make everyone uncomfortable"
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"by praying in front of 'em, am I right?"
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"Oh, no bacon for me."
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"I'm a vegetarian. (chuckles)"
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"Great. I love Buddha."
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"That's where I got my name."
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"(gasps) The only way to describe how perfect"
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"that jazz answer is, is with jazz."
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"a jazz brunch!"
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"That's great, Lisa, but I actually don't think"
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"faith comes down to what we believe."
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"Well, you got to believe in this baloney."
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"That's how you get into Heaven."
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"Where maybe, just maybe, I could see"
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"the mother that abandoned me again."
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"Yeah, sure, but I think together"
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