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Clips from Glee - Puppet Master (S05E05)

"What?"
Glee
"Oh, please, you just literally did a pirouette."
Glee
"Sue, just because a guy can dance doesn't make him effeminate."
Glee
"That's what I'm saying. When you dance, somehow"
Glee
"you're able to maintain your manliness."
Glee
"Here's the thing:"
Glee
"Um... I happen to have a sizeable crush on the handsomest man in the universe,"
Glee
"Superintendent Bob Harris."
Glee
"I've had multiple conversations with him."
Glee
"But it turns out all this time he thought I was a man."
Glee
"I blame the Johnny Cash song, "A Boy Named Sue.""
Glee
"You know what they used to say about Ginger Rogers?"
Glee
"No."
Glee
"That she could lead her partner while dancing backwards in high heels."
Glee
"I have no idea how that is germane to this conversation."
Glee
"Ginger Rogers was the pinnacle of femininity."
Glee
"I mean, she was one of the most famous dancers in the world,"
Glee
"and her partner was Fred Astaire, maybe the greatest dancer of all time."
Glee
"Again, I don't know how this pertains to what I'm talking about."
Glee
"The point is, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did..."
Glee
"only she did it backwards and in high heels."
Glee
"I mean, she managed to find a way to be feminine and strong."
Glee
"Half the time when it looked like Fred Astaire was leading her?"
Glee
"She was leading him."
Glee
"Okay. Tell you what."
Glee
"I'll teach you to lead while dancing backwards in high heels,"
Glee
"and you give me the $600 I need for new costumes at nationals."
Glee
"Nope. Forget it."
Glee
"I'm sorry, there's no way in hell I'm going to give"
Glee
"the Glee Club more money for costumes"
Glee
"until you can explain to me how you paid for"
Glee
"that 18-cubic-foot inflatable Lady Gaga airbag that you strapped onto the back"
Glee
"of the crippled kid's wheelchair."
Glee
"Fine."
Glee
"Suit yourself."
Glee
"Hey, doll."
Glee
"What do you say you and I cut a rug?"
Glee
"♪ Heaven ♪ I'm in heaven ♪ And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak ♪"
Glee
"♪ And I seem to find ♪ The happiness I seek ♪ When we're out together ♪"
Glee
"♪ Dancing cheek to cheek ♪"
Glee
"♪ Heaven ♪ I'm in heaven ♪ And the cares that hung around me through the week ♪"
Glee
"♪ Seem to vanish ♪ Like a gambler's lucky streak ♪"
Glee
"♪ When we're out together ♪ ♪ Dancing cheek to cheek ♪"
Glee
"♪ Oh, I love to climb a mountain ♪"
Glee
"♪ And to reach the highest peak ♪"
Glee
"♪ But it doesn't thrill me half as much ♪"
Glee
"♪ In a river or a creek ♪ ♪ Or a creek ♪"
Glee
"♪ But I don't enjoy it half as much ♪"
Glee
"♪ As dancing cheek to cheek ♪"
Glee
"♪ And I seem to find ♪ The happiness I seek ♪ When we're out together ♪"
Glee
"♪ Dancing cheek to cheek. ♪"
Glee
"Come on, Coach!"
Glee
"Wake up!"
Glee
"I've got to shop for a mini-fridge for college!"
Glee
"Oh, God, let it go. I don't want a girlfriend."
Glee
"Shut up."
Glee
"I don't want to be your girlfriend, either."
Glee
"Then what?"
Glee
"I'm late for class."
Glee
"I'm pregnant."
Glee
"With your baby."
Glee
"Bree, this is... All I'm going to ask is that"
Glee
"you come with me to the doctor, okay?"
Glee
"Wh-What are your parents going to say?"
Glee
"This is staying between us."
Glee
"Forever."
Glee
"It's the right thing to do."
Glee
"Right?"
Glee
"Well, well, well."
Glee
"If it isn't Miss Sally Field in Not Without My Puppet."
Glee
"Did you really think I was too stupid to suspect"
Glee
"that you would come back here under the cloak of darkness"
Glee
"to claim your monstrous puppet-bride, you strange, tiny, doe-eyed pervert?"
Glee
"Kindly remove your fist from Puppet Hummel's butt"
Glee
"and place him gingerly on the desk."
Glee
"And now report to detention for the rest of the week."
Glee
"But I was supposed to fly to New York to see Kurt's first big show."
Glee
"Well, then you're gonna have to cancel Wonder Woman's invisible jet,"
Glee
"or whatever magic discount"
Glee
"bullet train you kids use for your weekly jaunts to New York."
Glee
"Now, get out of here."
Glee
"Go feel shame."
Glee
"Hi. Hey. Did you get your ticket that I reserved for you, house-left?"
Glee
"Kurt, I was gonna call you."
Glee
"Um, please don't be mad, but... I'm not in New York, I'm in Lima."
Glee
"- A-Are you okay? - I-I'm fine."
Glee
"- I'm just, um... - I'm just trying to explain."
Glee
"Yes, why don't you explain... and it better be a good explanation."
Glee
"Well, Principal Sylvester gave me detention,"
Glee
"and she said if I tried to skip it that she was gonna suspend me"
Glee
"and put it on my permanent record. Hang on."
Glee
"Whoa, whoa, wait one second."
Glee
"And you weren't going to call me?"
Glee
"I-I was trying my best not to hurt you."
Glee
"All I did was steal back the Kurt puppet"
Glee
"- that I made in crafts class. - Excuse me?"
Glee
"The-the what puppet? What the hell are you talking about?"
Glee
"Uh, I-I know, it's, uh, it's kind of... a weird story."
Glee
"But basically, I was missing you."
Glee
"And is that how you see me?"
Glee
"As a thing of felt and cloth and button eyes that has no feelings,"
Glee
"that you can play with and manipulate and then discard whenever you're bored?"
Glee
"- Oh, no. - I'm a person, Blaine."
Glee
"I am flesh and blood and bone, and this is a really big night for me,"
Glee
"and I needed you to be here."
Glee
"Kurt..."
Glee
"Hey."
Glee
"We can release Blaine's seat."
Glee
"I don't think that's gonna be necessary."
Glee
"One person?"
Glee
"And he thinks Angela Lansbury's performing."
Glee
"Let's be real for a second."
Glee
"I've never been all that nice to you, and I don't"
Glee
"really get whatever's... going on with you,"
Glee
"but I have to say, there's a part of me that really admires it."
Glee
"When a woman of my stature needs a makeover, she rings up all her best gays,"
Glee
"but unfortunately, Porcelain, the Sassy Toothless Elf, is in New York."
Glee
"So... God's most fabulous mistake, I turn to you."
Glee
"I want to look more like a lady."
Glee
"Girl, I have already pulled out my makeup kit... I got you, boo."
Glee
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