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Clips from The Muppet Show (1976) - Milton Berle (S02E02)

"[drumroll]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest star Mr. Milton Berle!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ It's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight ♪"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Tonight's a special one for us because our guest star"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Hiding from Milton Berle? He's your idol. Don't you want to meet him?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Hi there, Milton. You ready for your monologue?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Thank you very much. - Hey, Uncle Miltie,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I hope you really knock 'em dead out there."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"and he deserves it to this day."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You know what "amphibious" means... he can be dull on land or water."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I feel great. I feel wonderful. I just got back from a pleasure trip."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- You know what you're doing wrong? - What am I doing wrong?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You're standing too close to the audience."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, I am? Well... how's this?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Gentlemen, would you please? Would you take it easy?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, I see. You think you can do better?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"OK. I dare you both to come down here and entertain."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I'm not going to put up with you anymore... anymore. Not anymore."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"These guys have been picking on me, insulting me ever since I started."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Dateline, London."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"And the super brain behind this whole ghastly mistake,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Testy, testy, mon capitain."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Now that's the kind of man I like to have on my crew."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Excuse me, captain, it's not exactly 17 hours."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[engine revving]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- [Miss Piggy laughing] - Stuck pig alarm!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[announcer] Tune in next week for last week's chapter"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[groaning]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, I'd say between 80,000 and 100,000."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"One of them, yeah. One of them."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Would you play that song again for moi?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Put somethin' in it, Rowlf!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, yeah."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Makin' the bacon."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[humming]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"What does it look like, small boy I have never seen before?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- I wish I could go lie down. - Well, what's stopping you?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[♪ Who ]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Uh, he's, um... gathering material for his act."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I've seen his act. He can use it. No, I'm kidding."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Fozzie. I was... - Yes, sir?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You, you? A song and dance with me?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Let me tell you something. - OK, yeah."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[grumbling]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"How did you know...? Have you heard it, folks?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- [knock on door] - Milton Berle."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Twenty seconds to curtain. Stand by for makeup."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Stand by for what? - Makeup!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[applause and whistles]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ It's time to put on makeup It's time to dress up right ♪"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ It's time to get things started ♪"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Another show, another headache."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- [muffled squeaking] - [bubbling]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Thank you, thank you. Hi-ho, and here we go again"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"with another edition of The Muppet Show."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"is one of the truly great comedians, Milton Berle. Mm-hmm."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"So now, for tonight's opening number,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"here he is, one of the beautiful people."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[♪ The Ugly Song ]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Eh, there's something wrong with this hearing aid."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- What's wrong? - I can't hear with it."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh. No wonder. It's too far away."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[chuckling]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"OK, beautiful opening number."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Beautiful. Very pretty, very pretty."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- What is that? - Shh!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Fozzie? - Yeah."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- What are you doing? - I'm hiding from Milton Berle."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Meet him? Why do you think I'm hiding, Kermit?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"What could this lowly bear say to the king of comics?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- How about "hello"? - Hello?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I just couldn't say "hello.""
The Muppet Show (1976)
"No, I'd have to make a little speech and grovel a lot."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Uh, whatever you say, but, uh,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I think there's one thing you should know about Milton Berle."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- He's coming down the stairs. - Aaah!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- All ready. - OK. I'm gonna go introduce you."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Listen, kid, don't worry about the king."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- I'm not. I'm worried about you. - [chuckles]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"How do you like that? I'm not even on the stage and I'm in trouble."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- [fanfare] - In the golden age of television,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"our guest star earned the title of "Mr. Television,""
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Here he is, the incomparable Milton Berle!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Thank you. Thank you, thank you and good evening."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Uh, and I wanna thank you, Kermit, for your wonderful introduction."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"First time I've ever been introduced by an amphibious emcee."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I took my mother-in-law to the airport."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I really did. And while I was there..."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[Statler and Waldorf] Funny, funny, funny!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh-ho, oh-ho! I heard about them. It's beginning."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You're the two guys that I heard about that heckle from the box, aren't you?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"There they are, ladies and gentlemen. Get a good look at 'em."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Starsky and Crutch."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Yeah, don't start with me, boys. Don't start with me."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Hey, Berle... - What?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You know what? I've just figured out your style."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Really? - You work like Gregory Peck."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Gregory Peck's not a comedian."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[Statler] Well..."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Now just a minute, please. I have been a successful comedian half of my life."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Look, did you come in here to be entertained or not?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- That's right. - What's right?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"We came in here to be entertained and we're not."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, yeah? I'd like to see you come down here and be funny."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You first."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[mocks chuckling] The audience."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Don't pay any attention to him, folks."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"He's the ninth child of a family of eight."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Let me tell this story... - Hey, Berle!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[groans] Yes, what is it?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[Statler] You're still too close."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, I'm sorry. Is this OK?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[Statler] A little more."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"How far back do you want me to go?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You got a car?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Let me tell you something, if you don't stop, I'll have the usher throw you out."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[Waldorf] He can't, he's too busy."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Doing what? - Keeping people in."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"And you're encouraging him, that's what you're doing!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You know, I got a good mind to punch you in your nose."
The Muppet Show (1976)
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