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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - Daisy (S09E09)

"...a simple question."
How I Met Your Mother
"When Lily and Marshall are apart for an extended period of time..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...what is the one thing Lily always does?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Cry? - Masturbate?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Karate? - Go sailing?"
How I Met Your Mother
"No."
How I Met Your Mother
"When Lily and Marshall are apart..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...for a long period of time..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...Lily..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...always..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...starts smoking again."
How I Met Your Mother
"Happened when she went to Paris in college."
How I Met Your Mother
"It happened when she moved to San Francisco and last week, it happened again."
How I Met Your Mother
"From the moment Marshall left for Minnesota..."
How I Met Your Mother
"... like a 46-year-old grandma at a Reno slot machine."
How I Met Your Mother
"Problem was, come Friday morning..."
How I Met Your Mother
"... she knew she'd have to quit again. Cold turkey."
How I Met Your Mother
"And it wouldn't be easy."
How I Met Your Mother
"She tried to make it a whole car ride, but couldn't."
How I Met Your Mother
"She pretended to be annoyed by perfectly reasonable things..."
How I Met Your Mother
"... like my driving gloves..."
How I Met Your Mother
"... and my appreciation of the historic Van Otterloop manse."
How I Met Your Mother
"All so she could have one last smoke on the train."
How I Met Your Mother
"But afterwards, her breath told the tale."
How I Met Your Mother
"... Lily..."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Lily never chews gum. - What, never?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Well, hardly ever. - Great job, Ted."
How I Met Your Mother
"That's some pretty solid evidence. Gum."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ha-ha-ha. Oh, Barney, my dear boy..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...I'm just getting started."
How I Met Your Mother
"Getting started?"
How I Met Your Mother
"She needed something to keep her calm, so she headed to the bar."
How I Met Your Mother
"Any time you see me without a drink in my hand..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...you put a drink in my hand."
How I Met Your Mother
"TED: What followed was a long day-and-a-half for Lily."
How I Met Your Mother
"A really long day-and-a-half."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's kind of insane how much happened in just a day-and-a-half."
How I Met Your Mother
"Anyway, Marshall returned..."
How I Met Your Mother
"... they had a big fight, Lily stormed out."
How I Met Your Mother
"And after that fight, boy did she need one."
How I Met Your Mother
"Only problem?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Now, it's 3 a.m."
How I Met Your Mother
"You have no car. What do you do? Go."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Dirt bike it. - I can walk that far."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Masturbate. - Take a boat."
How I Met Your Mother
"What? A boat?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Dude, she got a ride in your car, remember?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Ahoy? - Hi. I know it's late..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...but I've gotta get out of here. I wanna make one stop first."
How I Met Your Mother
"So when she arrived at the Captain's house, there was one possible course of action."
How I Met Your Mother
"Can I use your powder room?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Now, you're Lily. You've just had a cigarette in your boss's powder room."
How I Met Your Mother
"What do you do with the cigarette butt? The window? Flush it?"
How I Met Your Mother
"No, she wouldn't do either. She's an environmentalist."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Your purse? - Marshall could find it."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Throw it in the trash can? - The Captain would find it."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hide it in a boat."
How I Met Your Mother
"A boat? How would that even...?"
How I Met Your Mother
"No."
How I Met Your Mother
"There's only one place that she would put it."
How I Met Your Mother
"The place where, eventually, it would decompose..."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's in the daisy."
How I Met Your Mother
"And sure enough..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...if I dig around..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...I am all but guaranteed to find..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...a pregnancy test."
How I Met Your Mother
"You could smoke those?"
How I Met Your Mother
"[RETCHING]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, no."
How I Met Your Mother
"One other little thing."
How I Met Your Mother
"When you do put a drink in my hand, let's make it non-alcoholic."
How I Met Your Mother
"There's a chance I might be pregnant."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, Linus, don't start popping the sparkling ciderjust yet."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm just being cautious."
How I Met Your Mother
"...and any other future children we may have..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...just some consolation prize?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I have to get out of here."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Lily, what a lovely... - Can I use your powder room?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Two minutes. Here we go."
How I Met Your Mother
"Guys, we need to go back to the hotel."
How I Met Your Mother
"Lily peed on that, and you touched it."
How I Met Your Mother
"Lily?"
How I Met Your Mother
"You're gonna have a baby?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Uh... Uh, Barney, this is my mom."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, he's a hugger. Nothing like your dad."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm sorry, I was gonna tell you tonight."
How I Met Your Mother
"No. Oh, my God, no, it's fine. There's so much we have to do."
How I Met Your Mother
"You know, we have... We have to do research on..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...hospitals in Italy, and we have to... - But we're not going to Italy."
How I Met Your Mother
"Of course we are."
How I Met Your Mother
"We have to do this. You're gonna live in Rome."
How I Met Your Mother
"Because you're giving me mine."
How I Met Your Mother
"Again."
How I Met Your Mother
"But there's gonna be all sorts of paperwork..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...and if she's born outside of the U.S. She can never become president..."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's a girl?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, I don't know."
How I Met Your Mother
"But in my mind, I kind of think she is."
How I Met Your Mother
"I love you so much."
How I Met Your Mother
"- It's my room. Why do I have to...? - Just come on."
How I Met Your Mother
"- I thought this was an exit. - Nope. Balcony."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, we'll just give them a few minutes, and then we'll go back in and..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh!"
How I Met Your Mother
"They are both naked."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Yeah, they work fast. - Yes."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, you're going to be fine."
How I Met Your Mother
"You know, for every marriage in the world like I had with your dad..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...you know, there's a marriage like those two in there."
How I Met Your Mother
"Marriage, it's... Oh, it's terrifying. It's like flying."
How I Met Your Mother
"But if you find someone you feel safe with, it's like flying."
How I Met Your Mother
"But if you've got someone that you feel is really there for you..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...you're gonna be fine."
How I Met Your Mother
"Do you have someone like that?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I do."
How I Met Your Mother
"[IN ITALIAN]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Quite well, and you, sir?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Because it's a secret. And I'm keeping it."
How I Met Your Mother
"... gum."
How I Met Your Mother
"Are you my guy, Linus?"
How I Met Your Mother
"You need a cigarette. The only place is an EZ Pick five miles down the road."
How I Met Your Mother
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