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Clips from NewsRadio - Twins (S03E03)

[KNOCKS ON DESK]

"[KNOCKS ON DESK]"

NewsRadio

Don't worry. I can explain everything.

"Don't worry. I can explain everything."

NewsRadio

Go ahead.

"Go ahead."

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Why are you removing stuff?

"Why are you removing stuff?"

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There is a saying,

"There is a saying,"

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until I met a man who had no feet."

"until I met a man who had no feet.""

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there was such a thing as a budget,

"there was such a thing as a budget,"

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Uh, the end. You ever hear that story?

"Uh, the end. You ever hear that story?"

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I don't know.

"I don't know."

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I'm not a very religious man, but I do know...

"I'm not a very religious man, but I do know..."

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I don't wanna end the fiscal year in the red,

"I don't wanna end the fiscal year in the red,"

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Robert. David.

"Robert. David."

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Oh.

"Oh."

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[LAUGHING] Resolved it? Right.

"[LAUGHING] Resolved it? Right."

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I said, Christmas party, we can't afford that.

"I said, Christmas party, we can't afford that."

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You said:

"You said:"

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That's our transmitter.

"That's our transmitter."

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Okay, go ahead.

"Okay, go ahead."

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We'll just have to make do with a card table for now.

"We'll just have to make do with a card table for now."

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Don't worry about it. I'll try and tough it out.

"Don't worry about it. I'll try and tough it out."

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I worked at a place once, they had a...

"I worked at a place once, they had a..."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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They took away my backup headphones.

"They took away my backup headphones."

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I did not get into this business

"I did not get into this business"

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I just didn't.

"I just didn't."

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and this isn't Elizabethan England.

"and this isn't Elizabethan England."

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I demand my right to speak.

"I demand my right to speak."

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Fine. Go ahead.

"Fine. Go ahead."

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do when they're faced with adversity?

"do when they're faced with adversity?"

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They fight.

"They fight."

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So they're carting our equipment away.

"So they're carting our equipment away."

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is a half-dozen number-twos and a pair of golden throats.

"is a half-dozen number-twos and a pair of golden throats."

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Number-twos.

"Number-twos."

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Oh. Well, I'm with you, Bill.

"Oh. Well, I'm with you, Bill."

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Um... Uh, moving along.

"Um... Uh, moving along."

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so Catherine and I will be splitting her duties.

"so Catherine and I will be splitting her duties."

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I went out shopping in the rain and I actually got sick.

"I went out shopping in the rain and I actually got sick."

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Uh, real quick. I got a quickie.

"Uh, real quick. I got a quickie."

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I thought you were an only child.

"I thought you were an only child."

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they're eager to take our chairs away.

"they're eager to take our chairs away."

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Oh, sure, sure.

"Oh, sure, sure."

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Exactly how does, uh...

"Exactly how does, uh..."

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how are you gonna hear Beth

"how are you gonna hear Beth"

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Beth, Catherine, Joe, this--

"Beth, Catherine, Joe, this--"

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Thank you.

"Thank you."

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Wow.

"Wow."

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ANDREW: Yeah, they're nice. Um...

"ANDREW: Yeah, they're nice. Um..."

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MATTHEW: I'm sorry. I'm--

"MATTHEW: I'm sorry. I'm--"

NewsRadio

It's me. I'm Matthew.

"It's me. I'm Matthew."

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MATTHEW: We pulled a little, uh,

"MATTHEW: We pulled a little, uh,"

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Wow. Wait.

"Wow. Wait."

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MATTHEW: Oh, okay, okay.

"MATTHEW: Oh, okay, okay."

NewsRadio

Let me show you where to put your bags.

"Let me show you where to put your bags."

NewsRadio

I think maybe one of them got some more DNA, somehow.

"I think maybe one of them got some more DNA, somehow."

NewsRadio

DNA, or deoxyribonucleic acid,

"DNA, or deoxyribonucleic acid,"

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consists of two amino acid-based strands--

"consists of two amino acid-based strands--"

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Dude, you're not Matthew.

"Dude, you're not Matthew."

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No offense.

"No offense."

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And my parents wanted to make him feel part of the family,

"And my parents wanted to make him feel part of the family,"

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Well, why don't you tell him?

"Well, why don't you tell him?"

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I keep hoping Matthew's gonna figure it out.

"I keep hoping Matthew's gonna figure it out."

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Hey.

"Hey."

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in the junior-high talent show contest-- Yeah, yeah.

"in the junior-high talent show contest-- Yeah, yeah."

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Don't go there, dude.

"Don't go there, dude."

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You're gonna love it. They're gonna love it.

"You're gonna love it. They're gonna love it."

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Thank you. Let's go show Bill.

"Thank you. Let's go show Bill."

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He's gonna love it. That is great.

"He's gonna love it. That is great."

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Bill, correct me if I'm wrong, but the last time Mr. James

"Bill, correct me if I'm wrong, but the last time Mr. James"

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"I will drink water from the toilet like a dog

""I will drink water from the toilet like a dog"

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My essential position is the same.

"My essential position is the same."

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Yes, but opposites attract, don't they?

"Yes, but opposites attract, don't they?"

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Yes, sir, I did.

"Yes, sir, I did."

NewsRadio

Now...I've been going over these figures you gave me

"Now...I've been going over these figures you gave me"

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and, uh, seems to me the thing

"and, uh, seems to me the thing"

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Now, what is that?

"Now, what is that?"

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I can't tell you. It's confidential.

"I can't tell you. It's confidential."

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What is it?

"What is it?"

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Let me think, let me think...

"Let me think, let me think..."

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Um... Follow the money.

"Um... Follow the money."

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I am.

"I am."

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Okay, did somebody--?

"Okay, did somebody--?"

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and that's why we're way over budget?

"and that's why we're way over budget?"

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I think I have all the information that I need.

"I think I have all the information that I need."

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Oh!

"Oh!"

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No, they didn't.

"No, they didn't."

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Okay, they didn't.

"Okay, they didn't."

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At least I'm tryin' somethin'.

"At least I'm tryin' somethin'."

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What?

"What?"

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well, I just say, "How tight?"

"well, I just say, "How tight?""

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Oh, do you, now?

"Oh, do you, now?"

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Hell no. Do you hear me complaining?

"Hell no. Do you hear me complaining?"

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that caused all these problems in the first place.

"that caused all these problems in the first place."

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Two, maybe three times as much as others.

"Two, maybe three times as much as others."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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Years from now, when we're all making 16 times

"Years from now, when we're all making 16 times"

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Won't we? Yes, of course we will.

"Won't we? Yes, of course we will."

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I'm thinkin' these might help clear up the confusion

"I'm thinkin' these might help clear up the confusion"

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You know, Matthew,

"You know, Matthew,"

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Yeah, right. Lucky guess.

"Yeah, right. Lucky guess."

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and that I was adopted.

"and that I was adopted."

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And, um...I told you it was 'cause

"And, um...I told you it was 'cause"

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I got the test in advance?

"I got the test in advance?"

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and biologically speaking,

"and biologically speaking,"

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I'm three inches shorter than you are.

"I'm three inches shorter than you are."

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DAVE: Well, you've really outdone yourself today, Bill.

"DAVE: Well, you've really outdone yourself today, Bill."

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nearly stripped the office bare,

"nearly stripped the office bare,"

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And what can that money ultimately buy?

"And what can that money ultimately buy?"

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Please, I need your help.

"Please, I need your help."

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to patch things up with the staff.

"to patch things up with the staff."

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[LAUGHING] Yeah, right!

"[LAUGHING] Yeah, right!"

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Seriously.

"Seriously."

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Then give back the money.

"Then give back the money."

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So, what's everyone doing at quittin' time?

"So, what's everyone doing at quittin' time?"

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Shut your pie hole, jackass.

"Shut your pie hole, jackass."

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Oh, he's comin' up.

"Oh, he's comin' up."

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He's gonna-- We're gonna go out to dinner.

"He's gonna-- We're gonna go out to dinner."

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to help you through this.

"to help you through this."

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You know what I'm saying.

"You know what I'm saying."

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Bill, come on. Don't be an idiot.

"Bill, come on. Don't be an idiot."

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I'm not the one that's adopted.

"I'm not the one that's adopted."

NewsRadio

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