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Clips from Fleabag - Episode #1.4 (S01E01)

"during your stay here."
Fleabag
"You'll appreciate it in the end, I promise."
Fleabag
"- So, here is your key. - Thank you."
Fleabag
"- Yes, I do! - What happened yesterday?"
Fleabag
"Big day."
Fleabag
"- What's that for? - My neck and chest."
Fleabag
"- What's that for? - My legs and knees."
Fleabag
"- What's that for? - Ends of my hair."
Fleabag
"- What's that? - For my under-eyes."
Fleabag
"- What's that? - That is for my face and body."
Fleabag
"What would you do if someone stole all of those?"
Fleabag
"I'd kill myself."
Fleabag
"Why are there no plug sockets in here?"
Fleabag
"Don't touch my stuff."
Fleabag
"- What are these for? - Nothing."
Fleabag
"- Mm-hm. - What?"
Fleabag
"Well, it's just..."
Fleabag
"Why would you bring such tiny batteries?"
Fleabag
"Just I've only ever..."
Fleabag
"- seen them used for remote controls. - Yes."
Fleabag
"- Or alarm clocks. - Yes, all right."
Fleabag
"You didn't have to ask for a separate room!"
Fleabag
"What?"
Fleabag
"If you want to have a wank, I can give you some space."
Fleabag
"No, if you want to take ten minutes,"
Fleabag
"Oh, God. Seriously!"
Fleabag
"A-ha!"
Fleabag
"Always know where the reserves are."
Fleabag
"- Bit on the nose. - Now is the time to let it go."
Fleabag
"Open up your senses, close your mouth and live now."
Fleabag
"Welcome to the female-only Breath Of Silence retreat."
Fleabag
"Women don't speak."
Fleabag
"Erm, sorry. I think I'm meant to be at..."
Fleabag
"- 'Fucking sluts!' - ...that one."
Fleabag
"Shame."
Fleabag
"Can anyone here answer that question?"
Fleabag
"I want to shut the noise out and reconnect to my inner thoughts"
Fleabag
"Excellent attitude."
Fleabag
"Well, you're in the right place."
Fleabag
"And this weekend is about being mindful."
Fleabag
"It's about leaving your voice in your head..."
Fleabag
"...and trapping your thoughts in your skull."
Fleabag
"Think of it as a thought prison in your mind."
Fleabag
"Firstly, we're going to teach you how to breathe."
Fleabag
"Then we will have a short meditation,"
Fleabag
"all in perfect silence."
Fleabag
"Principal rules are no talking."
Fleabag
"you can write on that board."
Fleabag
"Under no other circumstances must you communicate,"
Fleabag
"even with each other."
Fleabag
"No matter what happens, a word must not be heard."
Fleabag
"'Slut!'"
Fleabag
"'Slut!'"
Fleabag
"'Bitch!'"
Fleabag
"Fucking bitch! You fucking piece of shit."
Fleabag
"Back here! Back here, back to me. Back to me."
Fleabag
"All right, now, wherever it's come from... your upbringing,"
Fleabag
"your experiences with women, now is the time to turn that around."
Fleabag
"To reprogram your mind,"
Fleabag
"your body and your mouth."
Fleabag
"To be the better... man."
Fleabag
"All right?"
Fleabag
"So, this... is Patricia."
Fleabag
"Now, Patricia has just earned a promotion at work,"
Fleabag
"She's the youngest person to ever achieve this role."
Fleabag
"What should we not say when we meet her?"
Fleabag
"- Clever little munchkin? - Excellent."
Fleabag
"- Who did you blow to get that job? - OK."
Fleabag
"- Slut, you fucking stupid slut. - OK."
Fleabag
"OK."
Fleabag
"What should we say to her?"
Fleabag
"- Well done, Patricia. - Very good."
Fleabag
"Please leave."
Fleabag
"Wow!"
Fleabag
"Well done, Patricia."
Fleabag
"Slut!"
Fleabag
"Guys, it's OK."
Fleabag
"Keith, come."
Fleabag
"And now, hands up."
Fleabag
"Mirror your palms."
Fleabag
"Look each other in the eye, and..."
Fleabag
"Literally her worst nightmare."
Fleabag
"Eugh!"
Fleabag
"Are you all right?"
Fleabag
"- Talk to me. - It's nothing."
Fleabag
"God."
Fleabag
"Do you remember we used to go top-to-toe?"
Fleabag
"Now kids are so weird."
Fleabag
"- We used to do that all the time. - Yeah, when we were ten and cute."
Fleabag
"- Now we're 30 and angry. - I'm not suggesting that we..."
Fleabag
"Stop stealing my things!"
Fleabag
"I'm just checking it's working."
Fleabag
"Oh, it's working, it's definitely working."
Fleabag
"'Shh!'"
Fleabag
"It's actually a really thoughtful present. Thank you."
Fleabag
"And Martin getting me that sculpture."
Fleabag
"He must have bent over backwards to get something like that."
Fleabag
"I have to tell you something."
Fleabag
"What?"
Fleabag
"I stole that sculpture from a certain somebody's studio"
Fleabag
"and then I tried to sell it through Martin,"
Fleabag
"but Martin took it and gave it to you."
Fleabag
"well, when they come over."
Fleabag
"Shit."
Fleabag
"- The sooner we get on... - Ah."
Fleabag
"The sooner we get on with it, the sooner we are out of here."
Fleabag
"Think of something you can't let go of."
Fleabag
"A moment of noise."
Fleabag
"A moment of tension."
Fleabag
"- Not for now. - Now..."
Fleabag
"...a moment when you were peaceful."
Fleabag
"My thighs."
Fleabag
"In the whole world?"
Fleabag
"- You know that. - I know."
Fleabag
"- You shouldn't. - Thank you, but..."
Fleabag
"- I mean, there's nothing wrong... - Say that again?"
Fleabag
"- I mean, there's nothing wrong... - What?"
Fleabag
"I don't know."
Fleabag
"- Ah! - Oh, my God."
Fleabag
"I always say the wrong thing!"
Fleabag
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