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Clips from Fleabag - Episode #1.4 (S01E01)

"- You said three turnings. - No, I missed one."
Fleabag
"Just use your phone, you have a Sat Nav on your phone."
Fleabag
"It's OK, I'm fucking OK, I'm excellent."
Fleabag
"- I know I seem mental, but I'm fine. - OK."
Fleabag
"- Sorry. - Out of..."
Fleabag
"I'm sorry."
Fleabag
"- Martin's been lovely. - Really?"
Fleabag
"We're not supposed to bond on this, are we?"
Fleabag
"We're not supposed to talk at all."
Fleabag
"- You really don't have to. - Thank you."
Fleabag
"The fact that your mind even goes there is beyond disturbing."
Fleabag
"Oh, just open the fucking door. It's been fucking forev..."
Fleabag
"Welcome."
Fleabag
"- You have a restful weekend. - You too."
Fleabag
"- Wow, no papers. - You don't read the news."
Fleabag
"- And vibrators. - Yes! All right!"
Fleabag
"Oh, my God!"
Fleabag
"- You are so immature! - Oh, give it a minute."
Fleabag
"- What is wrong with your insides? - Why did you bring the tiny batteries?"
Fleabag
"You're a genius."
Fleabag
"Let go of your past."
Fleabag
"Yes, the first major consideration is why are you here?"
Fleabag
"on the road to feeling more at one with myself."
Fleabag
"then we will find our sanctuary in the partaking of menial tasks,"
Fleabag
"If you need to communicate with any of our other superiors,"
Fleabag
"- What about an emergency? - Thank you all for coming here today."
Fleabag
"'Bitch, bitch!'"
Fleabag
"beating over six other candidates."
Fleabag
"Hmm?"
Fleabag
"Well done, Patricia."
Fleabag
"- Perv. - Slut."
Fleabag
"Oh, my God. Excuse me, miss, you can't be here."
Fleabag
"- OK. - You really can't be here."
Fleabag
"...touch."
Fleabag
"Have fun."
Fleabag
"I feel very lucky."
Fleabag
"Just don't put it pride of place when Dad..."
Fleabag
"- OK? Because... - Right."
Fleabag
"Claire!"
Fleabag
"- Claire! - Shh. Go to sleep."
Fleabag
"- That's a really nice outfit. - Thanks."
Fleabag
"Delve into your past."
Fleabag
"Don't tell anyone I said that. You?"
Fleabag
"I've always been insecure about my face."
Fleabag
"No, seriously, there's nothing wrong with your nose."
Fleabag
"Jesus."
Fleabag
"but I'm afraid your flagrant lack of respect for the one rule"
Fleabag
"I suggest you try sitting here in silence for the next hour."
Fleabag
"What Finland promotion?"
Fleabag
"Thank you."
Fleabag
"Don't be ridiculous."
Fleabag
"What?"
Fleabag
"Jake's her stepson, he's really weird,"
Fleabag
"- Go! - I knew you'd say that."
Fleabag
"I know, I can't!"
Fleabag
"- I have responsibilities. - Oh, come on."
Fleabag
"Finland is what you really want."
Fleabag
"My husband isn't other people, OK?"
Fleabag
"Up on your feet. We're going to say, Sorry, Patricia."
Fleabag
"We are going to head back to that house better men, yeah?"
Fleabag
"You're ready."
Fleabag
"I touched a colleague's breast."
Fleabag
"...disappointing man."
Fleabag
"To everyone."
Fleabag
"and put them in the cupboard at home..."
Fleabag
"'I can't come to the phone right now,"
Fleabag
"You cannot know this. No-one can hold a map in their head."
Fleabag
"I can! It's three turnings away."
Fleabag
"You're so going to get this wrong."
Fleabag
"- Stop it. - What?"
Fleabag
"I can feel you judging my driving."
Fleabag
"I'm not judging your driving!"
Fleabag
"Let go of the handle, then."
Fleabag
"Oh, we were supposed to go down that turning."
Fleabag
"- What? - Yeah."
Fleabag
"Oh, my God, there, Mindful. Oh, God. Farm, there it is."
Fleabag
"We're going the right way."
Fleabag
"I was right."
Fleabag
"Was right."
Fleabag
"Do you know what the lesbian app for Grindr is called?"
Fleabag
"Twat Nav."
Fleabag
"Don't make this fun!"
Fleabag
"I just..."
Fleabag
"- I just sometimes need you not to... - To take the piss."
Fleabag
"Don't finish my sentences!"
Fleabag
"- Take the piss... - Out of you and your..."
Fleabag
"You don't always know what I'm going to say, OK?"
Fleabag
"...me while I'm driving."
Fleabag
"Is it at home or..."
Fleabag
"work or Martin?"
Fleabag
"I'm fine, it's fine."
Fleabag
"It's fine."
Fleabag
"I'm OK."
Fleabag
"Fucking psycho."
Fleabag
"Wow! Dad really splashed out this time."
Fleabag
"He must be about to do something awful."
Fleabag
"No, it's just Mother's Day."
Fleabag
"- Oh. - Happy Mother's Day."
Fleabag
"Because I really don't think that's going to end well."
Fleabag
"It's a silent retreat, God help us."
Fleabag
"How's everything at the cafe? You..."
Fleabag
"Hi."
Fleabag
"- Hi. - Good morning."
Fleabag
"Come on."
Fleabag
"They're probably going to think we're a couple."
Fleabag
"Hey! We'd make a really cute couple."
Fleabag
"'Sluts!'"
Fleabag
"Yes?"
Fleabag
"I'm going to die here. We're going to be raped and die."
Fleabag
"- Thank you so much. - Hi. Yeah."
Fleabag
"It's really wonderful."
Fleabag
"I see you've been gifted this retreat. How lucky you both are."
Fleabag
"I hope after this weekend, you will feel rested, inspired."
Fleabag
"- Do you have Wi-Fi? - No."
Fleabag
"Erm, would you like two single beds or a double?"
Fleabag
"- Two singles. - A double, please."
Fleabag
"- Actually, do you have a separate room? - I'm afraid not."
Fleabag
"Everyone has to share here. It's part of the communal..."
Fleabag
"Singles, then. Do you get newspapers in the morning?"
Fleabag
"No, we try to keep the outside world on the outside"
Fleabag
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