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Clips from Fresh Off the Boat - Pilot (S01E01)

"S01E01 Pilot"
Fresh Off the Boat
"Eddie, don't say "hell.""
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"How much?"
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"She never understood that you couldn't haggle at jcpenney."
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"It's like, "those are set prices, mom.""
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"My family was moving from Washington, D.C.,"
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"way before all that "tiger mom" stuff."
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"I've been there for six months setting up the restaurant,"
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"Your father is right."
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"and I can't wait for you all to see it."
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"Lot of white folks here."
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"Not like back in D.C."
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"but I love the name Jessica."
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"Anyhoo, well, we've got to motor,"
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"I don't think Shaq eats here."
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"Just not as well as it could be."
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"Me and Emery are gonna sit next to each other on our bus."
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"so I don't know who you'll sit next to."
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"Mom, why do we have to start school on a Wednesday?"
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"just trying to get a nut."
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"Jessica, I figured it out."
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"Go, go, go, go."
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"I was blow-drying my hair, and I figured it out..."
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"Well, how?"
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"See?"
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"No."
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"Fine, but don't try to talk to me."
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"Yo. Yo, Chinese kid."
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"You into B.I.G.?"
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"- What's up? - Hey, dude."
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"Yeah, so my cousin told me about B.I.G."
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"when I went to visit him last summer, and he..."
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"It's Chinese food. My mom made it."
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"Yes. All those white people sound like they are making mistake."
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"It smelled delicious?"
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"This is nice."
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"It's not the same stuff. It's very different stuff."
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"- You're crazy. - I am."
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"- Okay. - Okay."
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"His fat friend J.J. gave him string cheese,"
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"and apparently, he is lactose intolerant."
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"You're not gonna have any lunch to eat."
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"- No, not yet. - They will."
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"- People here suck. - Totally."
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"Hey, George. I'll be there."
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"crowd?"
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"Do you know how many times she tried to start a garden?"
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"It's not new. There's no way that car is new."
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"I'm hungry."
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"- It was really good. - Liar."
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"Okay."
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"What is this store so excited about?"
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"Whoa."
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"I miss the taiwanese markets back in D.C."
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"How are you doing?"
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"We are shooting a local commercial."
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"And Eddie's having a hard time at school."
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"And Evan is lactose intolerant."
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"What's so important we had to move here"
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"Thank you, Nancy."
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"Oh, cool."
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"How come that boy is not also out there?!"
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"If you try to suspend our son because of this,"
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"So fast, it'll make your head spin."
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"but it's going to make him stronger."
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"a lawless land for only the bravest of families!"
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"If we want to go west, we should go to California."
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"But it's also what makes you special."
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"A little bit of respect."
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"Where I can get comfortable along people of my own kind."
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"Mom, check it. Fresh as hell, right?"
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"He also said "butthole" in the car."
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"Shut up, Evan, you little Chinese narc!"
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"- Isn't that necklace heavy? - Life's heavy, son."
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"Please, mom, can I get this?"
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"Too much."
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"Moms thought everything was too much."
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"That's me, your boy Eddie Huang in the headphones."
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"to Orlando, Florida."
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"I was 11 years old, and it was 1995."
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"This is the story of my family, an American family, the Huangs."
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"That's my dad."
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"He loved everything about America."
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"Full-on bought into the American dream."
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"Moms was always hard on me"
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"She thought I was trying to cause trouble"
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"wearing that nas shirt, but she didn't understand."
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"If you were an outsider, hip-hop was your anthem."
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"Was I excited about the move? No."
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"Did anyone ask me if I was excited?"
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"But it's hard getting respect when you're 11."
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"Eddie, I know you're not excited to leave D.C.,"
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"but you're gonna love Orlando."
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"and I've grown to love it"
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"like the daughter we wished Evan had been."
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"Hmm? I don't know why we have to move."
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"Why couldn't you keep on going back and forth"
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"between Orlando and D.C.?"
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"Because I didn't come to America"
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"to work for your mom's brother"
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"selling furniture for the rest of my life."
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"This is why we left Chinatown in D.C."
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"This is why we left our family and friends."
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"Exactly."
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"This is why we left everything we know"
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"to come to a place where we know nothing"
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"and where the humidity is not good for my hair."
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"- Right, okay. - And for what?"
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"So your father can own a cowboy restaurant."
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"It is beautiful."
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"It is big, brown, and beautiful."
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"- Like Shaq? - Exactly like Shaq."
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"Why you like Shaq so much?"
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"Why you not like Pete Sampras?"
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"So sexy. All that hair."
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"He's okay."
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"Oh, your favorite song."
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"The only white people we ever saw there"
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"were the tourists who got lost."
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"White. House."
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