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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires (S02E02)

"I'll do this just to show you"
What We Do in the Shadows
"how dumb you are."
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"Yes, there are over 5,000 Guillermos"
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"in the New York metropolitan area,"
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"including Mickey Guillermos, of which there are four."
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"Can we maybe narrow it down a little bit?"
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"Yes, yes, of course we can."
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"What else do we know about him"
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"besides his first name being Guillermo?"
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"-Door's ringing, Laszlo."
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"Well, you better go and answer it."
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"Y-Youbetter go and answer it."
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"You got to go and answer the darn-tootin' door."
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"-Stop doing that! -Stop doing what?"
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"Come on, just go get the door."
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"I'm not your Mr. Belvedere now."
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"I'll do it then."
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"I wanted to do it."
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"Assistance, please?"
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"NADJA: Ooh, it has a hex on it."
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"Gizmo's probably cursed it."
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"Pull!"
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"-"Pull"? -Yeah."
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"-Aha! -Oh."
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"-Here you go. -Begone."
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"Come back. You will forget everything you have seen."
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"Most importantly, the way we are both dressed."
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"To the fancy room again."
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"-NADJA: Well, who is it from? -LASZLO: Get it open."
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"NADJA: Well?"
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"It is from the Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires."
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"And we have all been invited!"
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"NADJA: The Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires is"
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"-a very, very big deal. -They travel from Europe"
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"to the United States once every five years."
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"NADJA: And only the crème de la crme de la creams of vampire society"
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"is invited."
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"This is the first year we have made the cut."
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"Everyone who has seen it says"
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"it is magnificent."
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"It is an all-vampire cast"
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"and it is just the most beautiful,"
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"eerie, poignant, important,"
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"-important work. -And I've heard there's a lot of nudity."
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"And I mean a lot, and when I say a lot,"
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"I don't just mean a whiff of tit, I mean the full rack."
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"Full boobies, full boners."
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"The full display."
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"We're going to have so much fun."
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"COLIN: I am"
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"so G-damn excited to be going to the vampire theater."
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"There's some genitalia on show there that would make a human"
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"go, "What is that exactly?""
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"So we shall be honored to attend."
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"-Mm-hmm. -Wait."
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"What are we thinking? We don't have any clothes!"
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"They are all soiled.We cannot go dressed like this."
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"She's right. We can't go dressed like this."
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"We'll be laughed out of the place."
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"They're not going to let us in now."
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"-Goddamn it! -Damn!"
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"Wait, stop, guys, stop."
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"Am I really gonna do this? -Do what?"
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"Listen."
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"There is a way to get your clothes back."
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"Don't ask me how. You don't want to know."
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"There's a good chance that I'm..."
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"not even gonna make it back alive."
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"-You mean you might be killed, Colin Robinson?"
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"We don't want you to hurt yourself."
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"Me neither, damn it."
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"But if I do this kindness for you,"
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"can I ask for one in return?"
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"Anything. What is it?"
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"I'd really like to moveout of my room in the basement."
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"If you retrieve our clothes, you can move into my room."
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"Oh, no, no, no. I don't want your room."
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"I-I just want to move intothat other room in the basement."
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"-Hmm? -Sounds fair. -Really?"
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"LASZLO: Go ahead. Do that now."
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"I guess we're going to the Théâtre!"
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"So, basically I needed to go to the dry cleaners anyway."
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"I just didn't want to make it sound too easy for them,"
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"'cause you go once or twice and then,"
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"all of a sudden you're the go-to"
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"dry cleaning fetcher."
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"Colin Robinson wins again."
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"-Yeah, so I had to..."
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"-I had to get out of there, so..."
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"-¿Mamá? Mamá."
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"Mamá!"
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"-Ah, tu película. -Sí."
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"Okay."
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"Our fridge broke today, so..."
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"But, yeah, I had to get out of there."
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"Never mind that I'm prone to being"
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"a vampire slayer."
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"I'm, like, killing vampires,"
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"killing, killing, killing, killing,"
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"but also wanting to be a vampire?"
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"I just had to think about that and also"
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"manage my everyday duties, which were falling"
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"at the wayside because I wasn't focused."
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"This is it. This is my life now."
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"You know? And I'm happy with that."
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"I'm content."
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"Okay."
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"She's happy that I'm home."
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"It's good to be wanted."
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"And I do miss them. I miss them a lot."
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"-I'll be right back."
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"Okay, y-yo tengo unmini-fridge."
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"Or I hada mini-fridge. Well, actually,"
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"it's my friend Topher's, but, you know, he's dead now."
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"Ay, pobrecito."
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"No, sorry, no."
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"He wasdead. I-I'll go get it."
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"Staten Island."
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"Secret entrance. Very cool."
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"So glad you could join us."
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