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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires (S02E02)

"-LASZLO: Yes! -NADJA: Yeah."
What We Do in the Shadows
"-COLIN: Ow. -LASZLO: Oh, shit."
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"All right, ladies."
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"Together..."
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"we can take our country back!"
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"NANDOR: Guillermo!"
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"The coffin is stuck again!"
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"Guillermo?"
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"The lid is very heavy."
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"Are you sitting on it?"
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"A vampire's familiar can be important."
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"Can be a very big help."
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"It feels like you are sitting on it, Guillermo!"
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"Guillermo is not always helpful."
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"He can be inconsistent and human."
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"Guillermo?"
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"Are you hiding from me?"
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"Ha!"
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"And surprisingly sneaky."
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"Guillermo?"
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"I am about to disembark from my coffin."
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"There's no one to hold my hand."
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"He likes to test my patience sometimes."
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"He's like a kid."
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"I got out of my coffin all by myself."
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"He's Guillermo."
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"Guillermo?"
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"Guillermo, have you taken another day off?"
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"Knew I shouldn't have given him anydays off."
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"Shh. There's a vampire approaching your room."
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"Ha!"
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"He's gone."
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"♪ Don't sing if you want to live long♪"
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"♪ They have no use for your song♪"
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"♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead♪"
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"♪ You're dead and out of this world♪"
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"♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone♪"
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"♪ You sold out your dream to the world♪"
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"♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead♪"
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"♪ You're dead and out of this world.♪"
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"NADJA: So, Guillermo has been gone"
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"for a few days now, and as I predicted,"
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"we are doing absolutely fine."
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"It's just so nice to have the place to ourselves."
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"Nandor, did you forget to blow out"
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"the candles before you went to bed?"
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"NANDOR:Those candles are in the hallway"
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"and not in my room, so, no, I did not blow them out!"
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"Now the wall is all wet!"
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"Nadja!"
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"I'm not drying that wall!"
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"So, as I was saying,"
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"it is just so nice to have the house to ourselves."
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"You know, having a human familiar is great,"
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"but to rely on one, I mean..."
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"Even if they don't quit, howlong will a human familiar live?"
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"Hundred, 200 years?"
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"I mean, how old are you, nine-- 90?"
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"-26. -26?"
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"Do you have long left, do you think?"
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"Laszlo!"
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"Hello, my darling!"
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"Who's this?"
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"Victim, begone."
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"Wait, you're not gonna drink all of my blood till I die?"
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"Not tonight, Josephine."
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"It's too messy."
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"Easier if you just walk out."
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"Bloody cheek..."
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"Who is leaving all these bodies everywhere?!"
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"LASZLO: You did that."
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"COLIN: Hey, hey."
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"What in the Sam Hill?!"
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"Careful!"
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"Jeepers creepers, you guys need"
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"to clean up all these human juices."
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"They'll dry on their own."
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"Ah, crud, how am I supposed"
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"to go to work looking like this?"
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"Can't you just change into another of your beige suits?"
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"Yeah, I'll just say I got in a bus accident or something."
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"Damn it!"
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"Is anyone else a little chilly?"
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"Yeah, I'm as cold as a witch's tit,"
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"because you let the fire burn down."
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"-NANDOR: What are you wearing? -What are youwearing?"
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"NADJA: Guillermo used to take our clothes out once a week"
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"and bring them back clean, and he's not here, so..."
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"Yeah, but where did he take them?"
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"-The river? -Oh, yes, that is a very good point."
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"We should contact the village washerwoman."
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"Someone contact the village washerwoman!"
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"I'm not doing that!"
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"I drove him away, didn't I?"
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"Perhaps I should've been a bit more aloof with him."
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"What are you fucking talking about?"
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"He's just a familiar."
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"You're right."
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"Fuck that guy for making me think"
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"I need to act more aloof!"
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"We're doing just great without him."
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"Everything is normal and fun."
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"NADJA: You know, I did sense"
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"he was getting more and more sad recently."
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"I could smell it on him. It comes from the groin."
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"-Ah. -Colin Robinson,"
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"take out your cellular telephoneand take a picture"
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"of me having fun and then send it to Guillermo,"
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"so that he knows how much I do not miss him."
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"Aah! Aah..."
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"I don't even have his phone number, so..."
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"Well, look it up."
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"Uh, what's his last name?"
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"Uh..."
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"Greenberg?"
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"Mm, Guillermo B... Buillermo?"
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"Yeah, but you assume that's his first name."
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"Could be his last name."
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"He could be called Mickey Guillermo."
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"NANDOR: Just look up "Guillermo.""
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