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Clips from Farzar - The Great and Powerful Ozner (S01E01)

"[announcer] Coming to Farzar,"
Farzar
"The Cluckinator!"
Farzar
"The irresistible spicy chicken sandwich that's caused riots, wars, and genocide!"
Farzar
"Each patty is made by squashing 10,000 baby chicks together."
Farzar
"And because everything tastes better when it dies happy,"
Farzar
"we throw them a party first."
Farzar
"Man, I want to get me some of that."
Farzar
"I want to chap my lips raw on that battered meat."
Farzar
"Oh my goodness, the lingerie is working!"
Farzar
"I want to double fist that hot, juicy morsel."
Farzar
"I want to bury my face between those buns and go to town."
Farzar
"[babbles]"
Farzar
"I want to stick a hot dog in that thing, twist it around, pull it out,"
Farzar
"and lick off the stanky grease."
Farzar
"You have the words of a poet."
Farzar
"Take me, Renzo!"
Farzar
"[muffled speech]"
Farzar
"Oh! Well, as much as I would love to sweep the cobwebs out of your spider hole,"
Farzar
"we can't, because… we have to go to church!"
Farzar
"We'll do it after church then."
Farzar
"I just need to stay away from the candles"
Farzar
"so I don't start another stanky grease fire. [chuckles]"
Farzar
"Ooh, that was close."
Farzar
"From now on, I'm gonna be more careful with what I say about commercials."
Farzar
"Introducing the new Mercedes-Benz S-class."
Farzar
"Oh, look at that hard metal body!"
Farzar
"I wanna get inside you!"
Farzar
"I want to ride you till your goddamn bottom falls out."
Farzar
"It's not how I planned to spend my Sunday, but you do have the words of a poet."
Farzar
"[whirring]"
Farzar
"[adventure music playing]"
Farzar
"♪ Farzar ♪"
Farzar
"[organ music plays]"
Farzar
"You're not supposed to eat that."
Farzar
"Why is it on a damn plate then?"
Farzar
"-[farts] -[coins clinking]"
Farzar
"Uh-oh, Flobby. I got dime-arrhea."
Farzar
"That was a pretty good diarrhea joke."
Farzar
"[upbeat music plays]"
Farzar
"Welcome, brothers and sisters! Ha!"
Farzar
"It's so wonderful to see you all in church."
Farzar
"-♪ Nobody really wants to be here! ♪ -♪ Be here! ♪"
Farzar
"Praise our Lord, Ozner, the all powerful! Ha!"
Farzar
"♪ He's completely made up, you idiots ♪"
Farzar
"Praise Ozner!"
Farzar
"Oh!"
Farzar
"Oh, stanky grease! Ah!"
Farzar
"Uh, brothers and sisters, Ozner spoke to me last night,"
Farzar
"and he has a holy message for his children."
Farzar
"No more fucking."
Farzar
"No more fucking? That doesn't sound very godlike."
Farzar
"I'm paraphrasing."
Farzar
"He actually said, "No human may layeth down with another human,"
Farzar
"for fucking.""
Farzar
"And sadly, that includes me and my smoking hot wife."
Farzar
"Ugh! Every fucking Sunday!"
Farzar
"I know it's a sacrifice,"
Farzar
"but Ozner has spoken."
Farzar
"No humping, no pumping, no dookie chest-dumping!"
Farzar
"What are we supposed to do if we can't have sex?"
Farzar
"The all-seeing Ozner, bless his name, anticipated this problem"
Farzar
"and told me to tell you all to wait in those long-ass lines"
Farzar
"for the Cluckinator irresistible spicy chicken sandwich,"
Farzar
"bring them back here, and feed them to me."
Farzar
"I was like, "Why, Ozner?""
Farzar
"And he was like, "No licking, no sticking, just eat that damn chicken.""
Farzar
"And I was like, "Oh man, did you just come up with that?""
Farzar
"And he was like, "Yeah.""
Farzar
"How long is this sex ban going to last?"
Farzar
"That is up to Ozner."
Farzar
"Might be a day, might be a week."
Farzar
"Might be six to eight months."
Farzar
"But I urge you all to stay calm."
Farzar
"[screaming]"
Farzar
"It's been 20 seconds! I've gotta fuck something!"
Farzar
"-So horny! So horny! -[grunting]"
Farzar
"You're not human. We can have sex with you. We'll pay!"
Farzar
"That cash does look delicious, but no can do you."
Farzar
"If an Intellectoid orgasms, we explode and die."
Farzar
"Basically, if we-–"
Farzar
"Come, we go!"
Farzar
"Flobby, if you keep stealing my jokes, I'm gonna jack you off to death!"
Farzar
"This Cluckinator line is taking way too long."
Farzar
"How about instead we go for some In-N-Out."
Farzar
"Uh, I'd rather have Five Guys."
Farzar
"I'm talking about sex, Mal."
Farzar
"So am I."
Farzar
"Where the hell did they come from?"
Farzar
"This is a cartoon, asshole. Just roll with it."
Farzar
"Fichael, having sex would be a sin!"
Farzar
"You heard the word of Ozner."
Farzar
"Got to admit, it's a little convenient"
Farzar
"that all the things Ozner decrees benefit my dad."
Farzar
"[gasps] That is blasphemy!"
Farzar
"[beeping]"
Farzar
"Ooh, can you hold our place in line?"
Farzar
"Ozner commands that it's time for every woman in town with at least a B-cup"
Farzar
"to jump rope topless outside your dad's window."
Farzar
"♪ This is wrong on so many levels, yeah! ♪"
Farzar
"I'm starving, man. I wish we could cash in on all these horny humans."
Farzar
"Hmm, if only we knew another non-human that could--"
Farzar
"Bust a load, but not explode!"
Farzar
"Goddamn it, Flobby, I warned you!"
Farzar
"[groans]"
Farzar
"Hold on, what's that?"
Farzar
"Billy wonder what wacky C story he going to be in this episode."
Farzar
"Hey, you ain't human. Can we be your pimps?"
Farzar
"Here we go."
Farzar
"Billy have to ask father if okay."
Farzar
"Can Billy have wacky C story where he become whore?"
Farzar
"I can't answer you now. I'm concentrating on standing in line."
Farzar
"So it okay that strange men sell Billy's body for sex making, Daddy?"
Farzar
"Do whatever you want."
Farzar
"I can't parent you and stand in line for a chicken sandwich at the same time!"
Farzar
"If I start thinking about your welfare, I'll lose focus,"
Farzar
"and next thing I know, I'll…"
Farzar
"Goddamn it!"
Farzar
"Where the hell am I?"
Farzar
"Okay, microdosing chaos is the only way to keep my demons at bay."
Farzar
"The old bucket of water over the door."
Farzar
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