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Clips from Parks and Recreation - Ron and Tammy (S02E02)

"'Cause then there's more room for me on the low road."
Parks and Recreation
"So, how did your coffee with Tammy go?"
Parks and Recreation
"for sticking your nose where it didn't belong."
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"Oh, I love talking about old times. New times are great, too,"
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"but there's just something about old times, you know what I mean?"
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"Oh, my. Mmm. Good."
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"Well, spare me the details. I'm just happy."
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"It was so intense, I didn't know"
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"Yeah."
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"Our marriage was always a complete disaster, but we did have that."
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"The two of us. It's like doing peyote and sneezing, slowly, for six hours."
Parks and Recreation
"That woman really knows her way around a penis."
Parks and Recreation
"Okay. Well, I'm happy that it went well and that you enjoyed your coffee."
Parks and Recreation
"They're reading their old divorce papers."
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""Three fistfuls of hair." That's not even possible."
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"Well, I'm too classy to say "I told you so," Donna."
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"Leslie."
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"Why don't you take the rest of the day off?"
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"I mean, you spend so much time worrying about this park,"
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"I care. I care a lot."
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"It's kind of my thing, remember?"
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"if the lot becomes a park, or a museum, or a megachurch?"
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"Or a library."
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"Ron, have you been talking to Tammy about the lot?"
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"No."
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"I swear on a grave."
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"Are you giving her the lot?"
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"Not giving."
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"More..."
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"Ugh!"
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"Tammy, can I speak with you for a second?"
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"I know what you're doing. You don't care about Ron."
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"You're just using him to get Lot 48 for your library."
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"Leslie, that's crazy. And correct."
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"Why are you doing this?"
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"There are women who work hard and stress out about doing the right thing."
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"I'd rather be Cleopatra."
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"What kind of lunatic would wanna be Cleopatra over Eleanor Roosevelt?"
Parks and Recreation
"just to see what you could get him to do for you?"
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"We do it all the time in the Library Department."
Parks and Recreation
"I would never work at the Library Department."
Parks and Recreation
"I'm gonna tell Ron what you just said,"
Parks and Recreation
"Okeydoke."
Parks and Recreation
"Yeah, you better run."
Parks and Recreation
"Look, we need to talk."
Parks and Recreation
"The Planning Department Re-prioritization Document?"
Parks and Recreation
"Yeah, well, you're going to."
Parks and Recreation
"Because Tammy wants you to, and you do everything that she wants."
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"She made some really good points about libraries."
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"Ron, the library?"
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"Of all the horrifying, miserable things in the world?"
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"Some people like libraries."
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"I can't even believe what I'm hearing."
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""Some people like libraries." Ron, she's in your head."
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"Look me in the eye and tell me that she's changed."
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"Look me in the eye."
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"I'm so screwed, Knope."
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"She has all the power and I have nothing."
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"I'm so little."
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"Why don't you just break up with her?"
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"I don't think I can."
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"and I'd give her your lot, and my house, and God knows what else."
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"I have no control over my actions."
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"It's like she's crawled up inside of me."
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"Okay? Now sack up."
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"Not around her, I'm not."
Parks and Recreation
"It took years of intense, focused hatred to get over her,"
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"and now I've undone all that great work."
Parks and Recreation
"You've got to help me break up with her."
Parks and Recreation
"Oh, now you don't wanna get involved?"
Parks and Recreation
"I never said... Point taken."
Parks and Recreation
"So, would you like to be in the room when I tell her it's over,"
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"In the room. I don't want her to think I'm a wimp."
Parks and Recreation
"Here're the ground rules. Don't talk to her."
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"Don't believe anything she says."
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"Just sit there, like a potted plant. Can you do that?"
Parks and Recreation
"- Hey. - Hey. Donna."
Parks and Recreation
"So, how's the shoeshine game?"
Parks and Recreation
"Quick question. Ann is trying to decide"
Parks and Recreation
"No, she's not, actually."
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"If you had to choose, who would you choose?"
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"I'm not sure. Why don't you spin around for me?"
Parks and Recreation
"- Sure. - Just out here."
Parks and Recreation
"Mmm."
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"Andy."
Parks and Recreation
"So, Tammy, for that and many other reasons,"
Parks and Recreation
"Wait a minute. Ron brought you here to break up with me for him?"
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"She volunteered."
Parks and Recreation
"What Ron wants to do is leave here right now,"
Parks and Recreation
"go to the sleaziest motel in town,"
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"I'm pretty sure he does."
Parks and Recreation
"See? He's completely over you."
Parks and Recreation
"Look, I understand that this Ann situation is awkward."
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"And I just hope that there is some way"
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"I couldn't have been more upfront about that."
Parks and Recreation
"Is punching allowed on the high road?"
Parks and Recreation
"I can't resist her."
Parks and Recreation
"Stay out of this. This is our relationship."
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"He's my man. And we have something twisted and beautiful."
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"You want Ron. That's what this is all about."
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"No. That's insane."
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"Fine, I had one dream. But no, no."
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"Baby, don't you see what's happening here?"
Parks and Recreation
"She's manipulating you because she's jealous of me,"
Parks and Recreation
"and the things I get to do to your body and face."
Parks and Recreation
"I'm here because Ron is my friend,"
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"And you, Tammy, you make him miserable."
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"So, Ron, you can give her the lot, or don't, whatever."
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"Just, please, find a way to be happy."
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"Ron, it's okay. Just sign the thing."
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"No, Leslie, it's not okay. You just put my needs in front of your own."
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"No woman has ever done that for me before."
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"I'm sure that's not true."
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"You see the kind of women that I choose, right?"
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"If I'm not down in five minutes,"
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"it's only because I'm receiving a pleasure so intense..."
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"Oh, my God."
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"What the hell are you doing?"
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"Andy, Ann, I thought it had a nice ring to it."
Parks and Recreation
"and you're throwing it in his face."
Parks and Recreation
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