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Clips from American Dad! - Lincoln Lover (S02E02)

"See, I've set the play during the winter of1863."
American Dad!
"Don't forget our soiree on the third."
American Dad!
"But, and we mean it, don't bring a thing."
American Dad!
"Especially not a chilled bottle of Clos du Bois Chardonnay."
American Dad!
"We really should set them up with some nice women. Hey, how about your sister?"
American Dad!
"Uh, I don't think so, Stan."
American Dad!
"Yeah, you,re right. She's too hot. God, is Gwen hot."
American Dad!
"And slender. God."
American Dad!
"And that dress she wore at our wedding."
American Dad!
"It's200a. m. We'rein Mr. Lincoln's bedroom."
American Dad!
"Hmm? Okay, Abe."
American Dad!
"This log cabin will represent the strong roots..."
American Dad!
"God, you have such muscles."
American Dad!
"more... theatrical."
American Dad!
"I was his bodyguard, and he was my everything."
American Dad!
"- You,re an inspiration. - I love you."
American Dad!
"Fantastic performance, Stan. This is BretandJason."
American Dad!
"Our group is based on the founding principles Abe Lincoln stood for."
American Dad!
"- We,re die-hard Republicans. - With dyed-to-match shoes."
American Dad!
"I don't get it."
American Dad!
"and after seeing you as Lincoln's "special friend......"
American Dad!
"Would you consider speaking on our behalf?"
American Dad!
"A whole island made of fire? How manly."
American Dad!
"So, Stan, what do you think of our humble organization?"
American Dad!
"Fantastic. Why didn't I know about the Log Cabin Republicans before?"
American Dad!
"There you are. Stan, I,d like you to meet my partner, Tino."
American Dad!
"Tennis partners? Golf partners? Synchronized swimmers?"
American Dad!
"You might say I,m Captain Derickson to his Lincoln."
American Dad!
"Greg, act casual. Get your stuff and meet me outside."
American Dad!
"What? Does Terry know? Oh, poor, straight Terry."
American Dad!
"A gay group?"
American Dad!
"Oh-Oh, my God. Y-You don't think- Look, I,m straight."
American Dad!
"I mean, yes, Francine's bat cave grosses me out every now and then, but-"
American Dad!
"We know you,re not gay, Stan. But we,ve always maintained Lincoln was."
American Dad!
"Wait. You got gay from Lincoln Lover?"
American Dad!
"You-You people really grasp at straws."
American Dad!
"Look, this is ridiculous. How can you be gay and Republican?"
American Dad!
"Ugh, these preconceived notions about gay people."
American Dad!
"It's time to dispel that stereotype... through a lavish musical number."
American Dad!
"Hit it,Joshua."
American Dad!
"My God, where did you get that confetti?"
American Dad!
"But you told me we hate the gays."
American Dad!
"because they,re letting me speak at the convention."
American Dad!
"- So they,re not gonna turn you gay? - Of course not, kiddo."
American Dad!
""Byesies.... I mean, "byesies...."
American Dad!
"Wow, front row Clay Aiken. This is the best meeting ever."
American Dad!
"Have fun."
American Dad!
"Heath Ledger has a head cold. That's why he's in his sweater."
American Dad!
"You took a limo with Stan to do a report on the new otters at the zoo?"
American Dad!
"You,re a... Republican?"
American Dad!
"- Honey, I can explain. - Oh, you didn't know?"
American Dad!
"- Well, bye. - All these years you,ve been a Republican?"
American Dad!
"- Listen, calm down. We,ll go inside and- - I am not calming down."
American Dad!
"For God's sake, Republicans are the people who say we can't get married."
American Dad!
"Just three more days until I get to speak at the R.N.C. Sip?"
American Dad!
"Oh, my God. What is this and how can I replace my blood with it?"
American Dad!
"It's a Cueryo cosmotinian."
American Dad!
"Stan, thank you for the beautiful roses you left on my nightstand."
American Dad!
"They,re a present for the bedroom."
American Dad!
"Oh, that was... nice of you."
American Dad!
"I don't know what you,ve done, Stan, but kudos."
American Dad!
"No notes for you."
American Dad!
"Hello, Dad. Wow, that's a nice manicure you have."
American Dad!
"- Why, thank you, Esteban. - Aha! I knew it!"
American Dad!
"The gays got to you with their insidious ways."
American Dad!
"- Now don't squint your eyes. You,ll get crow's-feet. - There it is again."
American Dad!
"This has gone way beyond you speaking at the convention."
American Dad!
"Don'you tell me you voted for he who shall not be named!"
American Dad!
"- Hi, I,m here for the Log Cabin Republicans sunset cruise. - Whoa, whoa. Straight check."
American Dad!
"Uh, the guy from Monk?"
American Dad!
"- then it's open season while you,re gone. - Fine."
American Dad!
"Mary Martin, Cathy Rigby, Sandy Duncan, Mary Lou Retton."
American Dad!
"Bret, Bret. Tell this guy I,m okay."
American Dad!
"- You,re not invited, Stan. - What? Why?"
American Dad!
"Because your son stopped by the office today and dropped off this."
American Dad!
"It was just a momentary lapse of judgment."
American Dad!
"My mind's a blank."
American Dad!
"but you,re clearly not the kind of person we want speaking for us at the convention."
American Dad!
"Well, Steve, they kicked me out."
American Dad!
"They,re not letting me speak at the R.N.C."
American Dad!
"I saved your soul, Dad."
American Dad!
"You can thank me when we,re duck hunting with Strom Thurmond in heaven."
American Dad!
"- You didn't belong with those people. - You,re right, Son."
American Dad!
"I love their world, but I,m not one of them."
American Dad!
"- You can't live a gay lifestyle without being gay. - Of coures you can't."
American Dad!
"Which is why I,ve decided to have sex with a man."
American Dad!
"You wanna have sex with a man?"
American Dad!
"We,re married. I,m your wife."
American Dad!
"God, you can be so selfish. I,m doing this for me."
American Dad!
"- This can't be happening. - Steve."
American Dad!
"It's very simple. If I become gay..."
American Dad!
"They,ll let me speak at the R.N.C. So I,m making this choice."
American Dad!
"- But where does that leave me? - In the best position of all-"
American Dad!
"Terry, I heard you tell Greg that it's open season..."
American Dad!
"Unfortunately, I couldn't find any crystallized methamphetamines..."
American Dad!
"but maybe we can make do with some Michelob Ultra and diet pills."
American Dad!
"Uh, yeah. Why don't wejust have some wine instead? That should break the ice."
American Dad!
"- Your dancing was good. It was tight. - Glad you liked it."
American Dad!
"Well, I guess it's time to have sex."
American Dad!
"Let's just start slow."
American Dad!
"- What's wrong, Stan? - It's weird."
American Dad!
"I,ve been doing it right since J.v. football."
American Dad!
"I don't get this. I danced to Madonna."
American Dad!
"- It's- It's not? - No."
American Dad!
"Because Greg is a bastard!"
American Dad!
"There, there. Hey, I know what,ll cheer you up."
American Dad!
"Damn right. Here they come."
American Dad!
"Come on. Let's keep this convention pure. Just like you taught me."
American Dad!
"Stan!Nancy Callieop has been kicked out ofthe Langley Conservatives."
American Dad!
"Terrorist!"
American Dad!
"Stan, will you speak on our behalf?"
American Dad!
"And now, representing the Langley Conservatives, Stan Smith."
American Dad!
"My fellow Republicans, last night I kissed a man named Terry."
American Dad!
"Greg, you were on break at the time."
American Dad!
"And I learned something. We,re wrong about gays. I was wrong."
American Dad!
"And I taught my boy wrong."
American Dad!
"It turns out that being gay is not a choice."
American Dad!
"It's true. Believe me. I tried and it didn't work."
American Dad!
"Even though, as Republicans, we used bashing them..."
American Dad!
"By God, these people love America as much as they love brunch."
American Dad!
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