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Clips from American Dad! - Lincoln Lover (S02E02)

"Didn't we already go through a security check?"
American Dad!
"- I own sandals. - Yes, but you can't pull,em off."
American Dad!
"A gay would,ve checked for dirt this way."
American Dad!
"Earned run average?"
American Dad!
"have made a choice to be gay."
American Dad!
"And they won't rest until everyone else is gay with them."
American Dad!
"It starts with them asking to borrow a wrench..."
American Dad!
"Welcome Langley Conservatives."
American Dad!
"It's time to announce who will be speaking for us..."
American Dad!
"Nancy Calliope."
American Dad!
"There are two fridges there now, Francine, one that's just for drinks."
American Dad!
"And in this direction, from youngest-"
American Dad!
"Ah, Abe Lincoln, the first Republican, pure and perfect."
American Dad!
"The McRib is back!"
American Dad!
"Really, Steve, very nice turn of phrase back there-"
American Dad!
"- Francine, wake up! - What's wrong? Is one of the children dead?"
American Dad!
"- That's when Abe and David really grew close. - Hey you two."
American Dad!
"You,re so bad. Isn't that right, Heath Ledger? Isn't Poppy bad?"
American Dad!
"Greg and Terry- handsome, successful, eligible bachelors."
American Dad!
"Oh, I have never seen her more beautiful than on that day."
American Dad!
"He's invited me, his bodyguard, David Derickson, to sleep over... again."
American Dad!
"of the Republican Party you founded, Mr. Lincoln."
American Dad!
"Let me take you home, Abe, one last time."
American Dad!
"See, Son? People are desperate for a return..."
American Dad!
"Our group is speaking at the R.N.C. this year..."
American Dad!
"Why, it's a dream come true."
American Dad!
"Excellent. We,re having a mixer at our headquarters later tonight."
American Dad!
"A Cueryo cosmotinian. I first had one on Fire Island."
American Dad!
"Partner? What are you guys, cops? Partners in a law firm?"
American Dad!
"Celine Dion."
American Dad!
"Gays! They,re everywhere!"
American Dad!
"- What? Why? - There are gays here."
American Dad!
"Uh, Stan, I,m gay."
American Dad!
"I thought you knew. The Log Cabin Republicans are a gay group."
American Dad!
"And the way you portrayed him with his boyfriend-"
American Dad!
"That was A: before I knew they came in Republican form..."
American Dad!
"and B: before they cut and styled my hair."
American Dad!
"How can you associate with them? You said they,re tearing apart the fabric of this nation."
American Dad!
"Good night, guys. Oh, look who stopped kissing."
American Dad!
"- Greg? - Terry, I thought you were at bonsai topiary class."
American Dad!
"And right now, I want to send them a big thank-you basket from the Body Factory."
American Dad!
"- Roger, are you crying? - Tears of joy, Stan. Tears of joy."
American Dad!
"And I,m not gonna let them have you. This isn't over."
American Dad!
"- Look, the war was inevitable. Freedom isn't free. - Are you kidding me?"
American Dad!
"Wow. All the Peter Pans, and in order."
American Dad!
"Tell him you can't have a Log Cabin event without me."
American Dad!
"Not only are you not invited on the cruise..."
American Dad!
"But I am! I,ve changed! You gotta believe me!"
American Dad!
"Francine, that's the fourth time you,ve said that. What doesn't make sense to you?"
American Dad!
"Stay away from me! I don't wanna catch your gay!"
American Dad!
"with all the other women who can't make it with a straight guy."
American Dad!
"The role of a hag."
American Dad!
"I,m not that great at songs yet, but once I poke a guy, I,ll be a regular Sondheim."
American Dad!
"So I was hoping I could take you to dinner and then afterwards have sex with you."
American Dad!
"If my terminology is correct, I,m a power top. I,ll get my jacket."
American Dad!
"You,re the professional."
American Dad!
"That's what the kids say, right? "Tight... as in "good...."
American Dad!
"I have to admit, I,m a little nervous."
American Dad!
"I hate to break it to you, Stan, but I thinkyou,re straight."
American Dad!
"What did you call me? I,m gay, damn it!"
American Dad!
"This is my choice. I wanna be gay. I choose to be gay."
American Dad!
"Huh, I always thought it was. So why am I in bed with you with my shirt off?"
American Dad!
"I have a perfectly good hag in my kitchen."
American Dad!
"- Want me to get her? - That would be great."
American Dad!
"Apparently, this is where I belong."
American Dad!
"What is the meaning of this? We are invited guests ofthe R.N.C."
American Dad!
"You know what else is a choice? Being a Democrat."
American Dad!
"Democrats weren't born Democrats."
American Dad!
"We should get more of them to be Republicans."
American Dad!
"Do you want manufacturers of super tight T-shirts to go out of business?"
American Dad!
"No!"
American Dad!
"So come on, David Geffen. Get on board, Nathan Lane. Come on,Johnny Depp."
American Dad!
"Come under the big tent. The Grand Old Party just got grander."
American Dad!
"In the words ofthe founding father ofthe Republican party, Abraham Lincoln..."
American Dad!
"And that house, my friends, will be re-surfaced with an aged lime wash..."
American Dad!
"My first meeting of the Langley Conservative Republicans."
American Dad!
"Oh! I,ve dreamed of this day..."
American Dad!
"for as long as I can remember you telling me I,ve dreamed of this day."
American Dad!
"Plus, tonight is very special."
American Dad!
"They,re gonna announce who gets to speak at this year's Republican National Convention."
American Dad!
"The buzz is your old man's a shoo-in."
American Dad!
"Awesome, Dad! You,re the most abortion-hating, stem-cell-research-opposing..."
American Dad!
"defecit-loving, affirmative-action-despising, Bible-thumping xenophobe I know."
American Dad!
"And I can't think of anyone else I,d rather share it with."
American Dad!
"Stan. Stan, I,m ready to go. Stan?"
American Dad!
"Oh, they aren't checking for weapons here."
American Dad!
"They,re checking for something far more dangerous: gay."
American Dad!
"- Gay? - Some Republicans want to allow gays..."
American Dad!
"The Langley Conservatives are determined to keep them out and the party pure."
American Dad!
"Luckily, there are ways to identify them."
American Dad!
"And that's how you spot your typical homosexual female."
American Dad!
"Check your fingernails for dirt."
American Dad!
"What does E.R.A. stand for?"
American Dad!
"A gay would,ve said "Equal Rights Amendment...."
American Dad!
"No! I just like musicals!"
American Dad!
"So then it's cool to alienate gays?"
American Dad!
"Yes, it is, Son. Gays are the new blacks."
American Dad!
"- How do they do that? - They,re insidious."
American Dad!
"and ends with you on a boat to Mykonos wearing a pair of"assless... chaps."
American Dad!
"at the Republican National Convention."
American Dad!
"Throw this when they announce my name."
American Dad!
"I couldn't find confetti, so I shredded a few napkins."
American Dad!
"Snubbed by the Langley Conservatives after all I,ve done for them."
American Dad!
"I mean, I,m the guy who suggested a separate drink fridge."
American Dad!
"My cheeses from Lyon just arrived."
American Dad!
"See, I,ve organized them from mildest to boldest."
American Dad!
"to most mature-"
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"I am honored, sir."
American Dad!
"Can't have nice things!"
American Dad!
"The community theater's putting on a play about Abraham Lincoln."
American Dad!
"Test drive the new Lincoln Continental."
American Dad!
"- That was an abomination. - Lincoln has been assassinated in the theater twice."
American Dad!
"Wow, that's nice, Steve. The G.O.P. has lost its way, Francine."
American Dad!
"And as a proud member, it's up to me-"
American Dad!
"to help us get back to our roots for the future Republicans of this country."
American Dad!
"I know how I,m gonna show Steve what it means to be a true Republican-"
American Dad!
"by doing my own play about Abraham Lincoln."
American Dad!
"of one of Lincoln's greatest admirers."
American Dad!
"Did you know Abe had a personal bodyguard named Captain David Derick son?"
American Dad!
"They traveled together, shared secrets, hopes, dreams."
American Dad!
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