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Clips from Friends - The One with Rachel's Phone Number (S09E09)

"Oh. Do you have one here?"
Friends
"Okay. Heh."
Friends
"Uh, Phoebe... Phoebe says you're... You've been divorced?"
Friends
"Yeah, yeah."
Friends
"That's okay. We'll talk about something else."
Friends
"- So you're a paleontologist, right? - Yeah."
Friends
"- My cousin's a paleontologist. - Ah."
Friends
"- Welcome home. - Oh, well, look at you."
Friends
"Yeah. What do you think?"
Friends
"Well, it looks great. It's just..."
Friends
"Hey. How come your door's locked?"
Friends
"- Joey can't know that I'm here. - Why not?"
Friends
"...so I told him I had to stay in Tulsa. - So you lied to him?"
Friends
"Except with you."
Friends
"Hey, open the door. What's going on?"
Friends
"Why are you dressed like that?"
Friends
"Because, um, well, Chandler's gonna be home in a couple of days..."
Friends
"...so I thought I would just, um, you know, practice the art of seduction."
Friends
"No, I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation."
Friends
""Really sexy. Could I be any more turned on?""
Friends
"Because one of them is for you."
Friends
"You know, it's funny. I've been, uh, practicing the art of seduction myself."
Friends
"- What? Why? - Come home."
Friends
"Look, I can't. What's going on?"
Friends
"I don't know how to tell you this, but, uh, I think Monica's cheating on you."
Friends
"All right, if you can't deal with this, then I'm gonna."
Friends
"No. All right, I'm going in."
Friends
"- Is that really necessary? - Absolutely. You'd do it for me."
Friends
"Not that you ever have to, because I know how to keep my women satisfied."
Friends
"Shouldn't the pizza be here by now?"
Friends
"I mean, they said 30 minutes or less. Well, how long has it been?"
Friends
"And now 12."
Friends
"- Although, it's actually a lager. - Huh."
Friends
"What's the difference between beer and lager?"
Friends
"We could look it up."
Friends
"Oh, God. It seems like forever ago."
Friends
"I know."
Friends
"Well, um, I don't know. I mean, for a long time, nothing."
Friends
"But, you know, actually, right before you picked me up..."
Friends
"...Ross and I had a, uh, little thing."
Friends
"...eye contact."
Friends
"I hope you were using protection."
Friends
"Excuse me, um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar."
Friends
"Should we send them something back? Ooh, let's send them mashed potatoes."
Friends
"No, wait. Don't do that."
Friends
"We're not here to meet guys. You have a boyfriend. I have a baby and a Ross."
Friends
"Yeah, but nothing has to happen. We're just having fun."
Friends
"Don't you think it's better for him to think you're cheating on me..."
Friends
"I heard it."
Friends
"All right, I've got a plan. I'll go down the fire escape..."
Friends
"Because all good plans start with, "I'll go down the fire escape.""
Friends
"Then Joey and I will come in and see that there's no guy in here."
Friends
"Oh, my God. I can't believe you live in that building."
Friends
"Ida Green? No sense of personal space..."
Friends
"...kind of smells like chicken, looks like a potato."
Friends
"- "Spuds" is your grandmother? - That's my bubby."
Friends
"So we're on our way to a couple of parties."
Friends
"Um, maybe we can get your numbers and call if we find something fun?"
Friends
"So she has a boyfriend. What is your situation?"
Friends
"Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend, but, uh..."
Friends
"Then can I have your number?"
Friends
"I'm sorry, no."
Friends
"Okay."
Friends
"- Great. - Bye."
Friends
"Wow. So that's great."
Friends
"You, Bill, Ross and Emma are gonna be so happy together."
Friends
"What were you thinking?"
Friends
"I don't know. He was cute and he liked me. It was an impulse."
Friends
"But what about Ross? What about your moment?"
Friends
"- Don't you wanna talk to Ross about it? - No."
Friends
"No, because I know exactly how the conversation's gonna go."
Friends
""Well, but I'm not sure I really want to do anything about it.""
Friends
""Yeah. Ahem. Me neither.""
Friends
""Yeah, that works for me.""
Friends
"But your Rachel wasn't whiny enough."
Friends
"So really, you're moving on from Ross?"
Friends
"I don't know. Do I have to decide right now?"
Friends
"Ross is gonna pick up the phone, and that's a pretty clear message."
Friends
""Oh, I have to get my number back. Oh, my God. He's gone.""
Friends
"Dead on."
Friends
"- You know, I'm gonna take off. - So soon?"
Friends
"- You mean lager? - Ah, yeah. Good times."
Friends
"I'm so sorry, honey, but..."
Friends
"Okay, Rachel gave this guy her number..."
Friends
"So you have to intercept all his calls."
Friends
"- He says he can't do that. - Oh, give me the phone."
Friends
"Hi, I'm sorry about her. But actually, she wasn't wrong about the dirty stuff."
Friends
"All right, I'll do it."
Friends
"But really, how much dirtier can it get?"
Friends
"Uh, hi."
Friends
"Yeah."
Friends
"Chandler, you're home."
Friends
"That's right. Your husband's home. So now the sex can stop."
Friends
"What are you saying?"
Friends
"There's no man in here. How dare you accuse me of that."
Friends
"All right. All right."
Friends
"Then maybe you won't mind if me and my friend take a look around, huh?"
Friends
"What's he doing?"
Friends
"All right, well, I'll check the guest room."
Friends
"Why do I smell men's cologne?"
Friends
"I think that's you."
Friends
"- You're right, Monica. I'm so sorry. - It's an honest mistake."
Friends
"If you just got back from Tulsa, how did your suitcase beat you here?"
Friends
"...beer and ale are basically the same thing."
Friends
"It's for you."
Friends
"I don't understand what just happened here."
Friends
"...and I didn't know... I didn't think you'd understand."
Friends
"You think I'm too dumb to understand a husband needs to be with his wife? Huh?"
Friends
"- Joey? - Yeah."
Friends
"I don't know what to say. We shouldn't have lied to you."
Friends
"But then you lied to me and tricked me and gave me a bump on the head."
Friends
"You should go to the game. It's okay. I want you to."
Friends
"- Really? You gonna be okay? - Yeah, I'll be fine."
Friends
"You know, maybe I'll stay here and practice the art of seduction."
Friends
"- You're gonna put sweats on and clean. - It's gonna be so hot."
Friends
"Thanks."
Friends
"...I'm never gonna lie to you again, okay?"
Friends
"Thanks, man."
Friends
"Oh, God. So glad you're back."
Friends
"So, what did you guys do?"
Friends
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