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Clips from Friends - The One with the Sharks (S09E09)

"People."
Friends
"Oh, Mike's picking me up for a date."
Friends
"I'm not quite sure."
Friends
"I wouldn't say "never.""
Friends
"I can't believe I never realized this before."
Friends
"No, no, no."
Friends
"Oh, and you know what you should bring?"
Friends
"- How do you know I have one of those? - Didn't until just now."
Friends
"Ugh. Hot. Not hot."
Friends
"And, uh, now I'm embarrassed. Heh."
Friends
"Really? Great."
Friends
"Do you know how hard it is to meet a guy like that?"
Friends
"...for letting me have that last piece of cake at the restaurant."
Friends
"I think I've been scared by that painting before."
Friends
"Who are you?"
Friends
"Right, yeah."
Friends
"I really, really need to talk to you about something."
Friends
"You're not gonna try and get me to join a cult, are you?"
Friends
"...like some kind of unstoppable moron?"
Friends
"...vis-à-vis..."
Friends
"Seven o'clock."
Friends
"Ooh. That was close."
Friends
"But you know, guys do that."
Friends
"- No! - Yes! Chandler watches shark porn!"
Friends
"Believe me, I know what he was doing."
Friends
"That's not even the weird part."
Friends
"But you don't remember sleeping with her."
Friends
"- We've never slept with you. - And whose fault is that?"
Friends
"Honey, why don't you just let it go and ask her out again?"
Friends
"- Joey? - What?"
Friends
"- Quick thing. I went to talk to Mike. - Yeah."
Friends
"If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend..."
Friends
"Phoebe, I think you'll feel differently when you know..."
Friends
"I'm trying to remember the last time I opened a door and you weren't there."
Friends
"So it was really a shock after 25 years of marriage..."
Friends
"- Yeah. - You know?"
Friends
"Yeah. Uh, anyway, I just..."
Friends
"...and you want to leave, I totally understand."
Friends
"You kissed me."
Friends
"And, um, be a little concerned about the Magic Markers?"
Friends
"...surprise for you."
Friends
"The great white..."
Friends
"Honey?"
Friends
"Oh, is this...? Is this not the good part?"
Friends
"- Let me be a part of this. - Let me be a part of this!"
Friends
"I actually did sleep with her. Heh."
Friends
"Oh. Hey, Ross."
Friends
"I'm so glad someone's here. Could you zip me up?"
Friends
"- Sure. - Thank you."
Friends
"Can you believe no one between my apartment and here..."
Friends
"...offered to do that for me?"
Friends
"So why are you so dressed up?"
Friends
"Oh, yeah? Now, how's that going? Is it getting serious?"
Friends
"I don't know. I don't know. I mean, you know, I like him."
Friends
"But, you know, am I ready to take my Grade A loins off the meat market?"
Friends
"You know, I really admire your whole dating attitude."
Friends
"It's so healthy. I'm always like, "Is this moving too fast?"
Friends
"Is this moving too slow? Where's this going?""
Friends
"Yeah, I know. You are a bit of a drama queen."
Friends
"You're so much better off, you know? You just go from guy to guy having fun..."
Friends
"...and not worrying that it never turns into anything serious."
Friends
"You know, there is that guy."
Friends
"Okay, well, what about?"
Friends
"Okay, well, there has gotta be someone."
Friends
"- There isn't! That's what I'm saying. - Oh, my God, you're right!"
Friends
"I know. And yet, here you are, all ready for the next date."
Friends
"I'm in my 30s, and I've never been in a long-term relationship."
Friends
"Um, there's nothing wrong with you."
Friends
"I mean, you don't strike me as the type of person that wants to get married anyway."
Friends
"I want to get married!"
Friends
"No, please... Please don't cry because of me."
Friends
"Pheebs, I don't know what I'm talking about, okay?"
Friends
"I've been divorced three times."
Friends
"Well, at least you've been married."
Friends
"Oh, my God. I want to trade lives with Ross?"
Friends
"Phoebe."
Friends
"- What's wrong? - Nothing. I'm excited about our date."
Friends
"Mike, this is Ross Geller. Ross, this is Mike..."
Friends
"- Sorry, I didn't catch that. - Mike Hannigan."
Friends
"- Oh, Ross Geller. - Hey."
Friends
"- Uh, so are you sure you're ready to go? - Uh-huh."
Friends
"How do I look?"
Friends
"- Do you have a compact in your purse? - No."
Friends
"You look great."
Friends
"- Hey, Joey. - This girl won't turn around."
Friends
"I can't tell whether she's hot or not. What do you think?"
Friends
"Joey, I am not going to objectify women with you."
Friends
"But if her face is as nice as her ass..."
Friends
"- Whoo, Mama. - All right. Thanks."
Friends
"- Hey, have you talked to Chandler? - He has to stay in Tulsa this weekend."
Friends
"- How come? - I don't know. He has to work."
Friends
"There's some big rush on the..."
Friends
"Uh..."
Friends
"One of these days, I'm gonna have to start listening..."
Friends
"...when he talks about his job."
Friends
"Hey, why don't you fly out there and surprise him?"
Friends
"Maybe I will go."
Friends
"Your black see-through teddy with the attached garters."
Friends
"Hot!"
Friends
"Excuse me?"
Friends
"Uh, I said that I think you're hot."
Friends
"Oh, I thought you said "hi.""
Friends
"That would've been better."
Friends
"I'll try that. Hi, I'm Joey."
Friends
"I'm Hayley."
Friends
"Oh. Look, I don't normally ask out women that I meet in coffeehouses."
Friends
"Ha!"
Friends
"Gesundheit."
Friends
"- But... - I would love to go out with you."
Friends
"Did I...? Did I actually ask you?"
Friends
"Oh, um, that's just where you were going. I figured I'd help you out."
Friends
"You don't seem like the kind of guy who does this a lot?"
Friends
"Ha!"
Friends
"Seriously, Gunther. You should see someone about that cold."
Friends
"If it gets much worse, you could die."
Friends
"- So how'd the date go? - Well, it was awful."
Friends
"Every time I thought about what you said, I started crying."
Friends
"- So he hasn't called? - Would you call this girl:"
Friends
"Now I feel terrible. This is all my fault."
Friends
"You know what you should feel terrible about?"
Friends
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