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Clips from South Park - Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My Anus (S02E02)

"No, because I hate you. You think farting is soo funny, well it isn't!"
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"Fart jokes are the lowest form of comedy, and if I..."
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"I hate you and I wish you both had cancer."
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"- Cancer? - Yes, in the head."
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"- Wow, Scott really hates us Phillip. - Yes, perhaps he's homophobic."
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"- But we're not gay, Phillip. - We're not?"
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"Yes, it's been a long day, and only Kroff Dinner can calm my nerves."
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"- It sure is. Let's look for treasure. - Yes, let's look for treasure."
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"Yes, yes I do."
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"Well, what if I were to help you get rid of them once and for all?"
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"Who is this?"
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"- Just call me your old pal, Saddam Hussein. - Saddam Hussein, the Iraqi dictator?!?"
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"Hey, relax guy. I'm just your average Joe. Take a rest."
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"What do you want?"
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"That sounds like a fair trade, doesn't it? Super, let's get started."
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"- I'm not sure I should trust you. - Hey, relax guy, trust me."
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"- My God, you're looking hideously ugly today Ugly Bob."
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"How come you guys say stuff like that?"
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"- Because you're God Damned ugly Bob. - I know, but..."
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"I can't help how I look."
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"Besides, it's not what's on the outside that matters, it's what's on the inside."
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"Wait, wait. I've got an idea."
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"Yes, if people can't see your face, they won't know how wretchedly ugly you are."
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"Really? Hey, thanks you guys. Maybe now I can score with chicks."
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"Hello Barky, hello Purry."
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"Bark Bark."
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"Say, Terrance, I was just aboot to make some Kroff Dinner."
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"- Would you like some? - You know I never turn down Kroff Dinner, Phillip."
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"I'm going to put on a pirate costume."
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"- Special delivery for Terrance. - I'll take that."
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"- Oh my God!!! - What is it Terrance? Did you fart?"
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"No, it's Sally, she's being held captive in Iran."
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"- Say Terrance, who's Sally? - My daughter."
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"- I never knew you had a daughter, Terrance. - Oh yes, didn't I mention that me heartys?"
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"No, you never did, Terrance."
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"Oh, well, it all began fifteen years ago."
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"My God, what a fascinating story Terrance, especially the part aboot Celine Dion."
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"Yes, indeed. But now my little Sally is being held captive in Iran,"
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"and I will have to go and find her."
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"- Then I will go with you Terrance. - You are such a good friend Phillip."
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"Well, You know what they say; "A friend in need is a friend with Kroff Dinner.""
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"Advance there maties."
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"- Hello Celine Dion. - Terrance, this is quite a surprise."
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"- You're looking well. - And you."
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"She's in the Middle East, studying anthropology. Why?"
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"- Wrong, she's been taken hostage and is now being held prisoner. - What?!?"
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"- Oh, Terrance, what happened to us? - We just grew apart, Celine Dion."
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"Please, bring our daughter home safe, Terrance."
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"- Terrific. We need two tickets for Teheran please."
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"Iran is dangerous; you guys shouldn't go there."
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"Damnit man. Danger or no, I'm going to help my friend find his daughter."
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"- All right then, there's a flight leaving today."
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"Indeed Phillip."
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"Terrance, if I die whilst in Iran, please bring my body back to Canada,"
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"Same here Phillip."
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"O Canada! Our home and native land!"
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"in all thy sons command."
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"With glowing hearts we see thee rise,"
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"From far and wide, O Canada,"
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"we stand on guard for thee."
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"Scott to Red Dragon, come in Red Dragon."
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"Yes, everything's proceeding according to plan."
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"Now, you promised that when Terrance and Phillip arrive"
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"Hey, relax guy, I'm gonna keep my side of the bargain."
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"Sprayed your face."
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"We don't speak the language, we are unwelcome strangers"
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"and we have no idea where to begin."
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"I'm here Sally; it's your father, Terrance."
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"- Papa. - Say, she looks a lot more like Celine Dion than you Terrance."
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"- Oh, now I see the resemblance. - Well, enough of Iran, let's get home."
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"I feel like going to Celine Dion's house and asking her to marry me again."
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"- Oh, raspberries, looks like I'm losing a friend."
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"Oh my God! What is this?!?"
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"- Is this Canada? - It seems to have changed."
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"What's going on Phillip?"
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"I must take my bastard daughter back to Celine Dion and see what she has to say."
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"Celine, I brought our daughter Sally back, and I want to tell you that..."
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"Terrance, uh, could you come back a little later?"
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"You've got a man over, don't you Celine Dion?"
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"- Well, I... - Hi guys."
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"- Oh my God, it's Ugly Bob! - What the hell are you doing here?"
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"I was going to make us a family again, but now you've slept with Ugly Bob."
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"- What do you mean? Why are you calling him Ugly Bob?"
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"Because that's his name you stupid bitch."
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"- You told me your name was Handsome Bob. - Look at him Celine Dion."
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"Behold, his horrible face."
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"Oh my God, he's heinously ugly, and I am pregnant with his child!"
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"- What?!? Noooooo!!!!!! - I'm going to have a freak-baby!"
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"Hey Saddam, you helped me get rid of Terrance and Phillip,"
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"Huh, oh that? Don't worry guy, you just need a rest."
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"No, I don't need a rest! I want to know what this is all aboot."
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"Hey, relax fella, I'm just making it so that Terrance and Phillip"
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"an never come back to Canada again."
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"Phillip, I'm convinced that something very, very not good is happening to Canada."
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"Yes, I agree whole-fartedly."
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"- Hey, what the hell are you guys doing here? - Oh, hello Scott."
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"You're supposed to be in Iran looking for your kidnapped..."
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"Uh, I mean, how are you guys today?"
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"- Wait, what were you saying? - Nothing, why?"
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"- Hey Scott, guess what? - What?"
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"I hate you more than ever Terrance and Phillip. I absolutely abhor you both."
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"- What are you doing Scott? - I'm wishing cancer upon you."
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"Mr. Hussein, the U.S. Government is becoming worried."
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"Worried, aboot what? Take a load off, relax."
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"- You seem to be taking over Canada. - Taking over Canada? Me?"
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"Hey, you need a rest fella. I'm not hiding any bombs."
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"- We didn't say anything about bombs. - Oh. You didn't? Hey, relax."
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"After that, we're going to bomb all of Iran."
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"- I'm from Iraq. - Iran, Iraq, what's the difference."
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"After that we'll take over the U.S., then Europe,"
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"You promised me they'd be gone for good. That was your part of the bargain."
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"Hey Terrance, let's watch American television."
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"Oh look, here's a show."
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"- Stupid. - God damn their TV shows are lame."
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"The father of Eric Cartman is indeed..."
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"And in other news, it appears that Saddam Hussein has finally signed"
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"When asked if he would uphold his side of the agreement,"
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"Hussein replied quote "Hey, relax fella, you need a rest guy.""
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"Yes, it is Terrance. According to that newsy he's some kind of Turkish dictator."
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"Well, we can't just sit here and eat Kroff dinner and let Canada be overrun by the Turks."
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