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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification (S04E04)

"And this is a schematic for a bird-trapping device..."
The Big Bang Theory
"My family history factoring in longevity, propensity for disease, et cetera."
The Big Bang Theory
"Those were the last words he ever spoke to us."
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"That long, huh?"
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"So you're upset about missing out..."
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"You don't get it, Leonard. I'm going to miss so much."
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"What's a dogapus?"
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"The hybrid dog and octopus."
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"Man's underwater best friend."
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"Wait, you hate dogs."
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"Thank you."
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"Not for me."
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"It's a small price to pay."
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"- Wait, cybernetics is robot stuff, right? - Correct."
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"I'm also planning to begin an exercise regimen..."
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"...designed to strengthen my cardiovascular system, a.k.a., jogging."
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"Wait, honey, have you ever run before?"
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"Um, hey, how does he know I jog?"
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"Yeah, well, then see a shrink and figure out how to talk to women."
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"Ever had your appendix out?"
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"So this is how it ends."
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"Do you know the original purpose of the appendix, Leonard?"
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"- Good night. - Good night."
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"No. The Flash shirt is because it's Friday."
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"You just go out there and gambol about like a bunny?"
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"Okay, you do it."
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"Oh, wow. Good job."
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"We'll never know."
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"If it makes you feel any better..."
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"...Thursday is no longer cruciferous vegetable night."
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"...one large order of Chicken McNuggets."
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"- Can I get you after Friday? - Sure."
The Big Bang Theory
"Greetings, friends."
The Big Bang Theory
"...but over time, you'll grow accustomed..."
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"...you'll need to allow some extra time to get me down the stairs."
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"Halt."
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"You cannot exist as a virtual presence."
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"Section 74-C."
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"I'll be damned."
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"Refresh my memory. Why didn't I just put you in the trunk?"
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"And go."
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"Sorry, the Swedes disproved your theory."
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"I'm a lamb."
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"Oh, great."
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"Only 15th?"
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"One of my proudest possessions is a vintage 1977 Apple II."
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"I'm coming, Woz. I'm coming."
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"Closer to the microphone."
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"Happy kitty, sleepy..."
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"No."
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"You have to start over."
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"Softy kitty, warm kitty"
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"Little ball of fur"
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"Happy kitty, sleepy kitty"
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"Purr, purr, purr"
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"What you doing there?"
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"The humorous implication being that I am Wile E. Coyote?"
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"Yes."
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"...that will ultimately backfire and cause me physical injury?"
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"Yes."
The Big Bang Theory
"Mm-hm. A lot of people are working on that research."
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"So, what is all this?"
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"Interesting."
The Big Bang Theory
"Cause of death for Uncle Carl was KBB?"
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"- What's KBB? - Killed by badger."
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"How's that?"
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"It was Thanksgiving."
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"Uncle Carl said, "I think there's a badger living in our chimney."
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"Hand me that flashlight.""
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"Not true."
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"The fight or flight instinct is coded genetically."
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"Instead of fleeing, he chose to fight barehanded..."
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"...against a brawny member of the weasel family."
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"Who's to say that I don't share that flawed DNA?"
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"Hmm, we can always get a badger and find out."
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"But seriously, even if I disregard the Uncle Carl factor..."
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"...at best, I have 60 years left."
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"Sixty only takes me to here."
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"I need to get to here."
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"What's there?"
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"The earliest estimate of the singularity."
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"When man will be able to transfer his consciousness into machines..."
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"...and achieve immortality."
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"...on becoming some sort of freakish self-aware robot?"
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"By this much."
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"Tough break. You want eggs?"
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"Unified field theory, cold fusion, the dogapus."
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"- Is somebody working on that? - I was going to."
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"I planned on giving it to myself on my 300th birthday."
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"A dogapus can play fetch with eight balls."
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"No one can hate that."
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"What do we owe you?"
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"It came to 28.17. Let's say six bucks a piece."
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"Here you go."
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"- What? - Uh..."
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"- Never mind. I got it. - Oh, you wanted me to pay."
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"- It's no big deal. - Right."
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"We're not going out anymore, I should pay for myself."
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"What?"
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"He said if he had woman parts, he'd eat for free the rest of his life."
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"Yeah, but you wouldn't be able to talk to yourself."
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"I'm a little low on cash."
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"- How much you got? - Nothing."
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"- How can you walk around with no money? - I'm cute, I get by."
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"It's okay, you can owe me. Sheldon, six bucks."
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"Oh, no, thank you. I'm not eating pizza tonight."
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"But it's Thursday. Thursday's pizza night."
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"Thursday is now cruciferous vegetable night."
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"Tonight's selection, Brussels sprouts."
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"Really? You're changing the Sheldonian calendar?"
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"- For what? - No, don't ask."
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"Sorry, sorry, sorry."
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"To live long enough to fuse my consciousness with cybernetics..."
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"...I need to change my diet."
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"You wanna turn yourself into some sort of robot?"
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"Essentially, yes."
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"Didn't you already do that?"
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"Flattering, but sadly, no."
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"Certainly. I've run from bullies, dogs, angry chickens..."
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"...and one particularly persistent PE teacher..."
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