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Clips from American Dad! - Dr. Klaustus (S07E07)

"Of course. What's important here is to avoid the truth at all costs."
American Dad!
"L've always said, "What's important here is to avoid the truth at all costs.""
American Dad!
"Jeff, we're ready for you."
American Dad!
"- Hey. - Hi."
American Dad!
"Whenever Hayley wants to have sex, I have to think about Francine."
American Dad!
"- It's the only way I can get excited. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm."
American Dad!
"- Jeff, do you have belly hair? - What?"
American Dad!
"We'll circle back, Jeff. My advice to you is to stop worrying about it."
American Dad!
"Ach! What?"
American Dad!
"What people don't know can't hurt them."
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"Punch a fish, make a wish."
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"Can Cost Plus make something that doesn't smell funny and break two days later?"
American Dad!
"So nice of you to have me to dinner."
American Dad!
"I don't ordinarily dine with my patients."
American Dad!
"Delicious!"
American Dad!
"Well, thank you for a lovely evening."
American Dad!
"I see you didn't open the wine I brought, so I am taking it with me."
American Dad!
"L've been called on to serve."
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"- What? Where? - In Iraq."
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"- Oh, no! - It's all right, ma,am."
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"That's what all that training was for, I suppose."
American Dad!
"Ow! I stepped on that glass!"
American Dad!
"Wait! Can I still see Dr. Penguin?"
American Dad!
"If Pepper's going to Iraq, I think it's pretty obvious..."
American Dad!
"I'm still lying to Jeff about where I go when I say I'm jogging."
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"- I need Dr. Penguin to tell me it's fine. - No can do. it's official."
American Dad!
"Well, who else shall I send to Iraq?"
American Dad!
"That jerk at the dry cleaners who lost my tie."
American Dad!
"- How could this happen? - You're not even in the reserves!"
American Dad!
"Shh."
American Dad!
"Save your tears, maggots. I'm off to Iraq to preserve your freedom."
American Dad!
"Keep you in two-ply toilet paper and soy milk."
American Dad!
"Good day to everyone."
American Dad!
"You can't just put on glasses and pretend to be a doctor, Klaus."
American Dad!
"Ugh. Stop talking, fish."
American Dad!
"Look, all of you have serious issues, and I can help you."
American Dad!
"Or whenever. Anytime is good!"
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"If you can't find me, check the pantry."
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"I go in there to eat baking chocolates and cry sometimes."
American Dad!
"Of course I can help you."
American Dad!
"I can't find my phone. Have you seen it?"
American Dad!
"You hear an I.E.D. blew a troop transport over on its side yesterday?"
American Dad!
"Till they get a Boomerang anti-sniper system on that sumbitch..."
American Dad!
"I'd rather drag ass through the streets on foot!"
American Dad!
"Uh, Sarge, the bot isn't workin'. It stopped halfway to the target."
American Dad!
"I don't think. That's why I'm the perfect soldier."
American Dad!
"And the perfect guy to watch movies with. I don't poke holes. I just enjoy the ride!"
American Dad!
"Give me some sizzle."
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"I'm goin' in on foot."
American Dad!
"He is the ballsiest outhouse cleaner we got."
American Dad!
"Let's do this."
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"Yep, we got a meat clog, Private. Up the suction!"
American Dad!
"No one showed up to my office hours, Charlie."
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"What?"
American Dad!
"That's good advice, Charlie."
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"L'll-I'll try that."
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"What? Now that's strange."
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"Did you wait three days to cash it like I asked you? Because I have the money."
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"I have, like, way more money than that even."
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"I don't have very much money!"
American Dad!
"Here we go."
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"Hello, Stan."
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"What now? Oh, nothing."
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"What? He doesn't have a girlfriend."
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"He's so embarrassed of you and Francine..."
American Dad!
"that he's pretending Greg and Terry are his parents."
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"Look! There they are now, acting out Rocky Horror!"
American Dad!
"Francine, get in here!"
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"Steve is pretending that Greg and Terry are his parents. - What?"
American Dad!
"and he's hiding us from her because he's embarrassed."
American Dad!
"You should talk to a professional."
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"Now, my office hours are from 9:00-"
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"That four-eyed bastard! That malnourished pasty geek!"
American Dad!
"- I knew I should have aborted him. - Goodness."
American Dad!
"- How you doin' in there, Sarge? - It's 110 in here..."
American Dad!
"and I'm on the wrong end of a falafel plate, that's how I'm doin'."
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"Damn it! The schnozzle attachment fell in."
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"I don't like this. It's too quiet."
American Dad!
"Oh."
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"Sarge, don't go in. It's not worth it!"
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"We got a native inbound!"
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"He's got a magazine!"
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"- We know you have a girlfriend. - Me?"
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"A girlfriend? Isn't that a little farfetched?"
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"- I just saw her, Steve! - Klaus, what the hell?"
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"- What the hell you! - Tell them how you feel, Steve."
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"I feel like I can't bring anyone around here'cause Dad's a lunatic!"
American Dad!
"And if he doesn't drive'em away, Mom's food will probably kill them!"
American Dad!
"How dare you! I'm a great cook!"
American Dad!
"Yes, the best. So much."
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"Come on, Stan. it's your turn to be honest."
American Dad!
"Leaving work at 4:00 every day. The pre-eating."
American Dad!
"What's he talking about?"
American Dad!
"Some of these wolves are fourth generation!"
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"Inbred dinner wolves! This is what I'm talking about!"
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"- Stan, you have some nerve! - Francine."
American Dad!
"The emergency fund?"
American Dad!
"Wait-Wait-What's the emergency fund?"
American Dad!
"- For? - Drugs."
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"- What? - Drugs. Drugs, okay?"
American Dad!
"Jeff and Hayley, come in."
American Dad!
"We're undoing years of damage caused by Dr. Penguin."
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"- Come on, Jeff. Out with it. - Oh, no way."
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"L'll start you off, and you finish."
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"Hayley, Jeff can only have sex with you if-"
American Dad!
"- Oops! I said the whole thing. - That's sick."
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"Hayley, you should be honest about what you really do when you go "jogging.""
American Dad!
"- You shut your mouth. - She's playing Ultimate Frisbee without you."
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"No! Why, Hayley? Why?"
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""Uh!""
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""Ah!""
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"That's wonderful mime work!"
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"I guess you're just good at everything!"
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"Jeff, wait. Now that the truth is out..."
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"Maybe you can still smell it on me."
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"Oh, shut up, you pre-eating douche bag."
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"If we do the work, we can get through this."
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"This is why I don't bring my girlfriend home."
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"You know what they're doing at my two dads, house?"
American Dad!
"Eating cheeses! From Europe! Sans crackers!"
American Dad!
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