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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition (S05E05)

"Or we play..."
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"...Travel Twister."
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"Amy, really? Twister?"
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"Excuse me, I've passed many an enjoyable evening playing this game."
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"And I'm sure it's a lot more exciting when you play with other people."
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"I'm too small for Twister. And roller coasters."
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"Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes, mom."
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"Hey, my mom smoked pot when she was pregnant with me..."
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"...and I turned out just fine."
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"Hey, look, I have peach schnapps. Thank God."
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"- Guys, something happened. - What's wrong?"
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"I think a boy likes me."
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""Hi. It's Stuart. We met at the comic book store."
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"I was wondering if you'd like to get coffee sometime. It's okay if you say no."
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"It might be the kick in the pants I need to start taking Zoloft.""
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"Amy, you little vixen."
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"What are you gonna do? Doesn't he know you have a boyfriend?"
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"Oh, she doesn't have a boyfriend, she has a Sheldon."
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"- So do you like Stuart? - I don't know."
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"He's nice. He's funny. He has the sallow-drawn countenance..."
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"...associated with an overactive thyroid gland. That's kind of hot."
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"Look, sweetie, we all love Sheldon, but you've been with him over a year now."
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"If it's not going anywhere, what does it hurt to look around?"
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"Yeah, I guess they're not engaged like me and Howie."
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"For what it's worth, engaged people can look around too. Lot of options out there."
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"Where's Stuart?"
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"Out."
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"- Who are you? - I'm Dale. He left me in charge."
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"- Really? - Yeah."
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"I don't get it either."
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"I wanna return this Wild West and Witches Ka'a expansion pack."
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"Sorry, I don't do returns. They're hard."
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"Sure, sure."
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"- Uh, when will Stuart be back? - I don't know. He went out for coffee."
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"With a girl."
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"Ah. I guess I was wrong."
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"You okay?"
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"Am I okay? Leonard, I'm on a lifelong trajectory..."
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"All four wisdom teeth fit comfortably in my mouth without need of extraction..."
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"Am I okay?"
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"I'm okay too."
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"Wild Bill Witchcock."
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"A tribe of Abra-Comanches."
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"Flaming Spittoon."
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"And for the record, I'm very disappointed in you, cowpokes."
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"We're playing our inaugural round of Wild West and witches..."
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"...and I'm the only one who bothered to dress for the occasion."
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"Patooie."
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"We're not wearing cowboy hats, Sheldon. It looks ridiculous."
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"And I suppose my boots and spurs are ridiculous too?"
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"- Yeah. - Incredibly so."
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"Did it look ridiculous when we got the Satanimals pack..."
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"...and I dressed up as a Beelzebobcat?"
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"- Yeah. - Incredibly so."
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"All right, fine. Let's just play."
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"We should go easy on him. Amy's out with Stuart tonight."
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"Wait a minute. Are you telling me..."
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"Cluck. Cluck. Cluck. What are we, ladies at a quilting bee?"
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"Or are we men playing a fantasy card game..."
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"...set in a magical frontier town?"
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"Sorry."
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"Creepy Tepee."
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"Annie Ogly."
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"Hocus Pocus Pocahontas."
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"And may I point out, it is the three of you..."
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"...who are obsessed with Stuart and Amy, not me."
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"I think you need to ask yourselves who's really being ridiculous here."
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"- It's you. - You are."
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"Hey, guys, check it out."
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"The deluxe limited edition Wild West and Witches expansion pack..."
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"...in the signed and numbered collector's tin."
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"Come on, no. We just bought the regular pack."
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"Ooh. A sheriff's badge. Ha, ha."
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"Yeah, it's also a wand."
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"With a hologram? Nice."
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"Hey, do you see this?"
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"I'm in the matrix, Leonard, I see everything."
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"You gotta be kidding me. You friended Stuart on Facebook?"
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"- I thought you didn't like Facebook. - Don't be silly."
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"I'm a fan of anything that tries to replace actual human contact."
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"Please. You're looking at Facebook to find out how their date went."
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"Really? You think I care if a man..."
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"...what, "Shared a pumpkin latte with a dynamite lady"?"
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"- You're so full of it. - You're free to believe whatever you like."
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"And unfriend Rajesh Koothrappali."
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"You unfriended me? Seriously?"
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""I can't believe I waited this long..."
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"...and don't want her going out with other men?"
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"Here's a radical thought. Go old school. Challenge Stuart to a fight."
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"Nothing makes the ladies hotter than two skinny white guys..."
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"...swatting at each other with their eyes closed."
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"And unfriend Howard Wolowitz."
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"That's all of us. Can I use the laptop?"
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"- Who do we love? - Penny."
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"Hello, Sheldon. Come on in."
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"- Thank you. - What's up?"
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"I came to ask if you would like to go on a date with me."
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"I'm sorry, what?"
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"A date. You and me."
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"Dining, dancing, perhaps you'd like to take in a prizefight."
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"No. Why is everyone so obsessed with Amy and Stuart?"
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"Whether or not they may be having more pumpkin lattes or intercourse tonight."
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"Okay, listen to me."
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"Playing games is not gonna help get Amy back."
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"I am not trying to get her back."
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"But out of curiosity, what is a way?"
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"All right, honey, let me tell you a story."
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"Eventually, he started going out with someone else and I always regretted it."
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"Do you see where I'm going with this?"
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"- I believe I do. - Hmm."
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"I'm the guy."
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"You're not the guy."
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"Are you sure? That would explain so much."
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"Your constant presence in my apartment..."
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"...that baffling dalliance with Leonard just to be near me..."
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"...the way you call me sweetie all the time."
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"- I call everyone sweetie. - You tramp."
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"Ugh."
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"Look, Sheldon, all I'm saying is strap on a pair and go talk to Amy."
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"Strap on a pair? Wait. Of what, skates?"
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