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Clips from South Park - Helen Keller! The Musical (S04E04)

"Friendly faces everywhere Humble folks without temptation"
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"Come on down to South Park And meet some friends of mine"
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"Yes. Perhaps she should go to an asylum."
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"Stan, what the hell is wrong with you? I can't understand your lines!"
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"- 'Cause the beard hurts my face. - Can we take a lunch break now?"
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"No! If we want our play to be better than the kindergartners' play,"
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"we have to rehearse as much as possible!"
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"and I believe I can teach this child to communicate."
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"- Really? You think so? - Water, Helen! Water!"
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"The kindergartners! I just came from their dress rehearsal!"
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"- Why, it's a Thanksgiving extravaganza! - Oh, no!"
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"and buy some Thanksgiving decorations for the sets! Kyle and Timmy,"
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"- Yeah! - Yeah!"
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"it being almost Thanksgiving and all, but go ahead, just pick one out."
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"Timmy!"
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"- Timmy! - Yeah, best you not take that one."
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"But you were just gonna take it out in the backyard"
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"and put a bullet in its head!"
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"I know! Now I gotta find something else to shoot!"
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"God damn it, here!"
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"All right, Timmy, let's go."
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"Blow it out your ass!"
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"He's South Park's biggest expert on musical theatre,"
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"- Hurray! - Hurray!"
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"And where, pray, is our beautiful, trick-performing turkey?"
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"We sort of spent all the money on this one."
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"and wanted to get it. What did you want me to say to him?"
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"You do?"
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"On the morrow you shall have your trick-performing turkey"
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"- All right! - All right!"
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"Poopsiekins, it's late. You need to be in bed."
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"I can't sleep, Mom. I have to write the lyrics"
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"- Now, hon. - But, Mom!"
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"Twenty minutes! Did Tim Rice's mom give him 20 minutes"
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"and her fight against depression."
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"- Oppression! - Oppression."
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"Our play begins in a simpler time, Alabama, in the late 1800s."
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"We're so happy that we live in 1800s Alabama"
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"Now to the refrain!"
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"And in our little town of 1800s Alabama there's a family by the name of Keller"
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"Their daughter's deaf and mute and blind as a bat"
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"and reigning poster child of turkeylovers. com. I give you, Alinicia!"
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"Places everybody! Where the hell is Timmy?"
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"What is that?"
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"- Gobbles. Gobbles? - Timmy, we already got a turkey."
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"No, Timmy, the handicapped turkey doesn't go in our play."
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"Oh, Jesus. Okay, fine! Helen Keller can have two pet turkeys!"
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"Oh, God damn it, now what are we gonna do?"
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"Dude, we need your turkey for our play!"
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"and Timmy is the only person who knows the part of Helen Keller."
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"So tell me what I can do here to make everybody happy."
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"All right, all right. Just get your turkey to stop crapping"
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"I'll take care of everything."
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"How can she talk if she can't hear? This is absolutely pointless!"
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"Okay, hold it! Let's hold it right there a second."
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"Why don't we have turkey number two stand just a little bit more over..."
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"They've got amazing stage effects! Pyrotechnics and what have yous!"
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"Calm down! Calm down! We can have special effects, too!"
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"but we've got to stick together to make this play work, all of us."
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"Into your hands that"
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"- Little boy! - Timmy."
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"to know, but... Oh, I don't know what to do! Should I tell you?"
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"in your situation to have wild animals as pets."
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"Excuse me, we're here to install the water effects for the musical."
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"Let's see, Helen Keller was blind and deaf."
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"Perhaps you should see what it is like"
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"Deprive yourself of your senses and see what plays inside your mind. Here"
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"- Oh, man. - Well? Did you see anything?"
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"for when Helen Keller's pet turkey jumps through the hoop of fire!"
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"Yes, yes! I have it now!"
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"Gobbles."
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"Gobbles! Timmy."
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"I don't know!"
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"Have you done the right things in your life?"
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"- Oh, yeah, I got a great angle here. - Hey, Gerald, maybe after the show"
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"No, it's on the one and the three."
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"All right, everybody, let's take our places!"
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"You shouldn't be out walking the streets."
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"Annual South Park Thanksgiving Pageant."
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"And now here it is, the touching story of Helen Keller, The Miracle Worker."
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"- This is The Miracle Worker? - I... Well, maybe."
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"Wow!"
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"John, come quick! Our little baby's very sick!"
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"- Helen! - Helen!"
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"I think our baby's deaf and blind Oh, no!"
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"- Oh, no! - Oh, no! Oh, no!"
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"- If I must, I can go on. - All right, fine! Get in costume!"
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"Gobbles? Gobbles?"
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"Here, turkey, turkey."
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"There is nothing we can do for our poor daughter. We cannot reach her."
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"I cannot hear what they are saying I cannot tell them how I feel"
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"Gotcha!"
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"Timmy?"
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"Oh, thank God you're all right, kid. It was an accident, I swear!"
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"The dumb kid really did it! Water, Helen! Water!"
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"And now that I can communicate The world is not so cold and dark"
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"Water, Helen"
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"Oh. Back already?"
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"Oh, wow!"
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"And finally tonight, parents, we have the South Park kindergarten class."
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"E-I-E-I-O"
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"Everywhere an Indian, an Indian"
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"All right, see you next year, parents!"
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"- That's it? - We worked our asses off"
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"to compete with that?"
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"Wow, did you see that? They had a horse, too!"
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"Gobbles! Timmy."
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"Doctor, doctor! Will our daughter be okay?"
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"I am sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Keller, but I'm afraid your daughter Helen"
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"- Still cannot see, hear or speak. - Oh, no! No!"
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"There, there, my good wife. There is nothing we can do."
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"- My poor little Helen! - Timmy!"
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"- She can't see or hear us, John! - Timmy!"
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"- Now, let's continue the scene! - Hello, my name is Anne Sullivan,"
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"Timmy!"
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"Damn it, Timmy Helen Keller isn't supposed to talk!"
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"- It's good, you guys, it's real good! - How good?"
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"They've got pilgrim outfits and Indian ones, too!"
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"They've got singing and dancing, and, boy, you've never seen such a show!"
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"We can't be outdone by the kindergartners!"
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