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Clips from The Simpsons - Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song (S05E05)

"but that's just because my dad was so hard on me when I was a boy."
The Simpsons
"Oh, man! Ned spilled ink all over my poems!"
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"He's a real flat tire. I mean a cube, man."
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"He's putting us on the train to Squaresville, Mona."
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"Hmm?"
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"" I met a woman in Paris, France ""
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"" Had a big hole in her underpants ""
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"Wait, wait, wait, wait. Where did you pick up that filth?"
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"We heard Sergeant Clark's company singing it, sir."
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"Yes, well, there will be no smut in my company."
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"You're in this man's army to learn."
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"- " How old " - "We don't know ""
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""That's real good but needs improvement ""
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"[ Sighs ]"
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"Wow, I never thought Principal Skinner could become any more of a square..."
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"- but there's the proof. - It's weird, Lise."
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"I miss him as a friend, but I miss him even more as an enemy."
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"Sherlock Holmes had his Dr. Moriarty."
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"Mountain Dew has its Mello Yello."
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"Even Maggie has that baby with the one eyebrow."
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"[ Wheel Squeaking ]"
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"[ Incoming Ordnance ]"
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"Man on the range! Change your trajectory!"
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"At last we can compete with the Gas-N-Gulp."
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"[ Incoming Ordnance ]"
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"Frankly, the army isn't quite as I remembered it."
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"Actually, it's exactly as I remembered it."
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"I do want to come back, Bart..."
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"but it doesn't sound like Flanders is gonna get fired."
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"I got you fired, didn't I? [ Laughing ]"
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"Yes. Now, you realize if I become principal again..."
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"Hmm. That's probably never gonna happen."
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"- Well, we'll always have the Laundromat. - Yeah."
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"Once he found out we were gonna get Ned Flanders fired, he insisted on helping."
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"Once he found out we were gonna get Ned Flanders fired, he insisted on helping."
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"- That is true. - Here's the plan."
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"Once Chalmers comes for his next inspection and sees how crappy the school has gotten..."
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"he'll fire Ned on the spot."
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"Uh, one question remains: How do I get out of the army?"
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"Done and done. And I mean done."
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"- [ Knocking ] - [ Marge ] What's going on in there?"
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"" [ Singing Opera ]"
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"Come on, Chalmie. You fired Skinner for less than this."
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"Besides, the way America's public schools are sliding..."
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"they'll all be this way in a few months."
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"I say lay back and enjoy it. It's a hell of a toboggan ride."
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"[ Ned On Speaker ] Well, cockilly-doodilly-do, little buddies."
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"Thank the Lor-- Thank the Lord? That sounded like a prayer."
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"A prayer! A prayer in a public school!"
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"God has no place within these walls..."
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"just like facts have no place within organized religion!"
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"Simpson, you get your wish. Flanders is history."
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"[ Humming ]"
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"Well, I really enjoyed my time here, Superintendent."
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"May the Lord bless and keep you."
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"You really think it's a good idea to give that freak his job back?"
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"Ah, he seems to know the students' names."
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"So, I guess we're enemies again."
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"I guess. Thanks, Bart."
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"Sure."
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"[ Chuckles ]"
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"[ Skinner Chuckles ]"
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"Oh, mercy."
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"[ Bell Ringing ]"
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"[ Tires Screeching ]"
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"D'oh! [ Screams ]"
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""[ Man Singing Blues Rock ]"
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"How would you like it if 20 years from now..."
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"people were laughing at things you did?"
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"Not likely. Come on. Have a sense of humor about yourself."
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"I'm a big boy today."
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"[ Groans ] I gotta find something else quick."
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"Mom, you're always trying to give me potatoes."
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"I need something for show-and-tell."
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"Just take one of my geodes."
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"The rocks on my desk."
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"Bart, that's a bran muffin.!"
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"[ School Bus Horn Honks ]"
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"Greetings, fellow geode-ologist."
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"[ Groans ] I'll be right back!"
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"[ Santa's Little Helper Growling ]"
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"The ingredients were fresh pureed tomatoes..."
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"water, salt and sodium benzoate used to retard spoilage."
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"Once again, if I'm not mistaken..."
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"this can contained tomato paste."
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"Bart,you're up."
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"I come before you today to solve a riddle..."
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"that has plagued mankind for centuries."
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"What has four legs and ticks?"
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"- A walking clock? - A walking clock!"
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"What? No, it's my dog."
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"- [ All Gasp ] - Oh, he is a gem!"
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"Here, boy. Would you like these cookies Martin made for me?"
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"My raisin roundies!"
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"My dog's name is Santa's Little Helper."
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"One time he crawled under the house, and when he came out, he was covered with ants."
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"- Then he ran into a church and drank all the holy water. - [ All ] Wow!"
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"Thank you, Bart. Great job."
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"[ All Cheering ]"
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"which gives birth to the magnificent geode, one of nature's most--"
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"You're doing it wrong.! You gotta pet him hard so he can feel it."
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"[ Grumbles, Sneezes ]"
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"Look, look, look! The doggy sneezed!"
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"Oh, smoochie. Here, poochie, poochie, poochie!"
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"- [ Grunts ] - [ Clears Throat ]"
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"My geode must be acknowledged."
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"Oh, brother. All right. Back to show-and-tell."
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"Bart, why don't you put the doggy away?"
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"[ Whimpers ]"
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"[ Sniffing ]"
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"Mmm."
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"More testicles mean more iron."
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"Uh, Miss Hoover, there's a dog in the vent."
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"He was going to the bathroom."
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"Uh, I-I know Weinstein's parents were upset, Superintendent..."
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"but I-I was sure it was a phony excuse."
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"I mean, it sounds so made-up. ''Yom Kip Pur.''"
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"I mean, it sounds so made-up. ''Yom Kip Pur.''"
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"Sir, you've got to come quick!"
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"I understand. Children, this is Principal Skinner."
The Simpsons
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