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Clips from Ted Lasso - Trent Crimm: The Independent (S01E01)

"Fuck!"
Ted Lasso
"Of course I am."
Ted Lasso
"I was staring at a clock. That's exactly right. Yeah, bingo."
Ted Lasso
"That's a little bit of a mystery puzzle."
Ted Lasso
"You figured it out right away. You're a sharp cookie."
Ted Lasso
"-Ted. -Yeah."
Ted Lasso
"I unfortunately don't have any."
Ted Lasso
"-Okay. Counting the minutes. -Yeah, there you are."
Ted Lasso
"All right. Let's see what we got here. I've got this fella up here, the goalie."
Ted Lasso
"And going over here, going over that way."
Ted Lasso
"and I think it stinks!"
Ted Lasso
"As do I."
Ted Lasso
"What time did you get home last night?"
Ted Lasso
"Now, look, our whole offense right now is all give-and-go."
Ted Lasso
"Okay, right. Well, it's just... No, other pocket."
Ted Lasso
"Let me see you strut, Nate. Come on."
Ted Lasso
"There you go, Nate. Yeah, that's one way to do it."
Ted Lasso
"as a favor."
Ted Lasso
"-Guess what the headline will be. -Gesundheit?"
Ted Lasso
"-Did you just come up with that? -Yeah."
Ted Lasso
"No, no. Not necessary."
Ted Lasso
"I know the owner of the paper. I can get this stopped with a phone call."
Ted Lasso
"but I wouldn't be able to take my eyes off it either."
Ted Lasso
"Did you not use an alias or a burner phone?"
Ted Lasso
"Well, thank you. Wait..."
Ted Lasso
"Okay, here we go. Sam lays it for Dickson."
Ted Lasso
"Jamie decoys through."
Ted Lasso
"I just don't know. So many new feelings. Yeah."
Ted Lasso
"You're catching up. Don't cut that corner!"
Ted Lasso
"Faster, boys!"
Ted Lasso
"-Oh, right, boyo. -Yeah."
Ted Lasso
"Sorry, gaffer."
Ted Lasso
"What's going on? I thought you ran track in high school or something."
Ted Lasso
"Chess team, Coach."
Ted Lasso
"Nice one, bitch boy."
Ted Lasso
"No."
Ted Lasso
"Yes."
Ted Lasso
"And then I alternate between bis and tris."
Ted Lasso
"Can you curl 40 kilos?"
Ted Lasso
"No, but I can use your balls as a speed bag."
Ted Lasso
"But because your right foot was kissed by God the boys look up to you."
Ted Lasso
"...they think it's okay."
Ted Lasso
"Yeah, all right. I'll take care of it. Nate's a good lad."
Ted Lasso
"The bigger issue is that the local community"
Ted Lasso
"-No, the newspaper. -Oh, right."
Ted Lasso
"And he has agreed to not run the photo of you and Keeley."
Ted Lasso
"The writer will be Trent Crimm."
Ted Lasso
"Hey, there he is."
Ted Lasso
"And please, call me Ted."
Ted Lasso
"All right, let's go!"
Ted Lasso
"Wide open."
Ted Lasso
"You want me to run decoy?"
Ted Lasso
"the funniest thing I've ever seen."
Ted Lasso
"This is all cooked up by our very own Nate the Great."
Ted Lasso
"Okay."
Ted Lasso
"What exactly does "Nate the Great" do?"
Ted Lasso
"to the kit man?"
Ted Lasso
"Anything to add, Coach?"
Ted Lasso
"Fuck's sake."
Ted Lasso
"So? I don't need a phone and a watch."
Ted Lasso
"I don't like being tricked."
Ted Lasso
"Come on. I could push all of your buttons right now if I wanted to."
Ted Lasso
"No."
Ted Lasso
"but I'm mad all the time.""
Ted Lasso
"Come on now."
Ted Lasso
"I just wanted to come and thank you again for stopping that picture from running."
Ted Lasso
"It really pissed me off."
Ted Lasso
"a week after his divorce."
Ted Lasso
"Come on. You wouldn't have said something if you weren't dying to show someone."
Ted Lasso
"Holy shit, Rebecca."
Ted Lasso
"Are those your real tits?"
Ted Lasso
"My mum."
Ted Lasso
"Thank you. I appreciate you."
Ted Lasso
"All right. Hey, gang. How y'all doing?"
Ted Lasso
"and congratulate y'all on a heck of a season."
Ted Lasso
"Roy! Roy! Roy! Roy!"
Ted Lasso
"All right. Come on, you lot. Line up."
Ted Lasso
"Next. Heads."
Ted Lasso
"You hop in there, show 'em how it's done. I'll do a couple."
Ted Lasso
"How you doing? Ready? Come on."
Ted Lasso
"Don't use it to clone me."
Ted Lasso
"It's the story of a young girl's struggle with the burden of leadership"
Ted Lasso
"Little tradition."
Ted Lasso
"Ted Lasso?"
Ted Lasso
"Well, I mean, you invited me, remember?"
Ted Lasso
"I invite every person who's been in my car."
Ted Lasso
"Have him make it for us like we're a couple members of the family."
Ted Lasso
"Why did you leave to coach a sport you can barely-- you know anything about?"
Ted Lasso
"Tell your father-in-law it's perfect."
Ted Lasso
"This club actually means something to this town."
Ted Lasso
"-Thank you. -You're welcome."
Ted Lasso
"on and off the field."
Ted Lasso
"And it ain't always easy, Trent,"
Ted Lasso
"Let me ask you this."
Ted Lasso
"-Beautiful, right? -It's beyond beautiful. It's hot."
Ted Lasso
"Mind your own business, Phoebe."
Ted Lasso
""Whatever you think of Ted Lasso as a football coach,"
Ted Lasso
"-It's fine. Thank you for asking. -"And swallow you must,"
Ted Lasso
"-Hey, fellas. How you doing? -"That's for you to decide.""
Ted Lasso
"Piss off, wanker!"
Ted Lasso
""And yes, he's in over his head."
Ted Lasso
"His coaching style is subtle. It never hits you over the head."
Ted Lasso
"Shit!"
Ted Lasso
"but that goes for all of you!"
Ted Lasso
"Such a child."
Ted Lasso
"Keeley."
Ted Lasso
"Roy."
Ted Lasso
"Okay, here we go. Oh boy. Oh boy."
Ted Lasso
"I won't gloat when it happens."
Ted Lasso
"Siri, call Shithead."
Ted Lasso
"Good morning."
Ted Lasso
"There is nothing in The Sun about Ted and Keeley."
Ted Lasso
"Then get up here now."
Ted Lasso
"Bye, boys. Tell Mum I love her."
Ted Lasso
"Knock, knock. Hey, boss, I don't know about you,"
Ted Lasso
"but I had an absolute peach of a Sunday."
Ted Lasso
"Here you go."
Ted Lasso
"Yeah, finally saw Big Ben."
Ted Lasso
"Boy, I thought I'd seen the biggest clock there was."
Ted Lasso
"When I was a kid, my folks took me"
Ted Lasso
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