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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - The Slutty Pumpkin Returns (S07E07)

"Ted... have you tasted her Tootsie Roll?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Of course not."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Ow. - Wait. Have you?"
How I Met Your Mother
"You had sex with someone you have zero feelings for!"
How I Met Your Mother
"U-S-A!"
How I Met Your Mother
"U-S..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Just no part of it felt right."
How I Met Your Mother
"At first there was too much eye contact, then not enough."
How I Met Your Mother
"Where do you look during sex?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Um, into the hidden camera at future me watching it."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay. Wait. How does"
How I Met Your Mother
"saying "I want to break up with you" lead into sex?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I didn't say "I want to break up with you," exactly."
How I Met Your Mother
"What did you say, exactly?"
How I Met Your Mother
""I love you.""
How I Met Your Mother
"Classic Schmosby."
How I Met Your Mother
"Marshall, this house wants you so bad."
How I Met Your Mother
""Mow my lawn."
How I Met Your Mother
""Rake my leaves."
How I Met Your Mother
"Winterize my pipes"""
How I Met Your Mother
"Yes!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Yes! I'm coming..."
How I Met Your Mother
"to terms with this decision!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Trick or treat!"
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"Yay!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay."
How I Met Your Mother
"Happy Halloween."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Lily. - Yeah?"
How I Met Your Mother
"You just gave those children"
How I Met Your Mother
"a stapler, a pair of sharp scissors,"
How I Met Your Mother
"and a pretty decent Pinot Noir."
How I Met Your Mother
"I did?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, my God."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm going to miss that stapler so much."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm not doing so great, am I?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Maybe not."
How I Met Your Mother
"We shouldn't make any huge life decisions"
How I Met Your Mother
"right now, should we?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, look, I love you and I-I love the idea of raising"
How I Met Your Mother
"our kids with a lawn and a white picket fence,"
How I Met Your Mother
"but we have our whole lives to decide when"
How I Met Your Mother
"and if we want to do that."
How I Met Your Mother
"Do what?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Let's get you home."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ooh."
How I Met Your Mother
"I hate the suburbs."
How I Met Your Mother
"Naomi..."
How I Met Your Mother
"We have to end this."
How I Met Your Mother
"W-- huh?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm sorry, Tootsie Rolls make me"
How I Met Your Mother
"really honest."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ted... I know you're super into me."
How I Met Your Mother
"But we are terrible together."
How I Met Your Mother
"Wait, what?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I've been trying, saying things felt good that didn't just to..."
How I Met Your Mother
"I thought saying it was good would make it feel good, but..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...it always felt off."
How I Met Your Mother
"Why won't he stop sniffing my hair?"
How I Met Your Mother
"And what's up with the hand holding?"
How I Met Your Mother
"It's like he's trying to win a thumb war."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, no, he thinks I'm actually into this song."
How I Met Your Mother
"Does he not get sarcasm?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I'll just be even more ridiculous"
How I Met Your Mother
"to make it clear it's a joke."
How I Met Your Mother
"♪ Chickety-China, the Chinese chicken... ♪"
How I Met Your Mother
"I..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Uh-oh, where you going with this, buddy?"
How I Met Your Mother
"...love..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Nope, too soon."
How I Met Your Mother
"Say basset hounds, Pretzel Crisps, anything but..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...you."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, God, just kiss him before he proposes."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ted, I've been looking for the Hot Hanging Chad"
How I Met Your Mother
"for the last nine Halloweens."
How I Met Your Mother
"I've waded through a sweaty parade"
How I Met Your Mother
"of Big Lebowskis, Harry Potters,"
How I Met Your Mother
"Antoine Dodsons, and that jackass"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, I hate that guy."
How I Met Your Mother
"That's why, once I finally found you..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...it was hard to let you go."
How I Met Your Mother
"Good-bye, Ted."
How I Met Your Mother
"Let's just not touch ever again."
How I Met Your Mother
"Probably a good idea, yeah."
How I Met Your Mother
"Kids, after spending a decade dreaming of the wrong girl,"
How I Met Your Mother
"I wanted more than ever for the next woman I met"
How I Met Your Mother
"to be the real thing."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, I don't know, Barney, she doesn't seem like my type."
How I Met Your Mother
"I will kill you."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'll see what I can do."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, hey there, I'm Barney, how are you?"
How I Met Your Mother
"No, I'm Barney."
How I Met Your Mother
"Whoa."
How I Met Your Mother
"You pack quite a wallop there."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hope you didn't hurt your hand."
How I Met Your Mother
"Why are you so nice?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, sorry about my thick noodle there."
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"Holy Zamboni."
How I Met Your Mother
"Wow, you really put your weight behind that one."
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"That was a really good one."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, heavens to Gretzky, that was a real Chiclet rattler."
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"The slutty pumpkin."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh!"
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"Kids, it took me ten years, but I finally kissed her."
How I Met Your Mother
"Marshall!"
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"Oh, I got a girlfriend, right."
How I Met Your Mother
"What's causing that pinching feeling?"
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"♪ Across the nation ♪"
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"♪ Living in America ♪"
How I Met Your Mother
"Stop it."
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"How about we split the cost of the vase, eh?"
How I Met Your Mother