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Clips from Saved by the Bell - The Lisa Card (S01E01)

"Lisa, sit down, look pretty and trust me."
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"Resume where we left off yesterday. You all know the chapter."
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"Well, I prefer to call it, "Monkey Business in the Jungle.""
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"I read the chapter last night,"
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"but I'm still not clear who does what to whom and how."
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"Yeah, and how come birds aren't attracted to horses?"
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""The Pond: Nature's Hot Tub.""
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"- of "Pond Playmates of the Month"? - All right,"
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"Does anyone know the sound"
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"the male frog makes to attract the female?"
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"Ribbit-- ribbit-- ribbit."
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""Your pad or mine?""
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"An unwelcome suitor is often driven off by terrifying threats."
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"Oh no. Much worse than that."
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"Like--"
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"Good, very good. Excellent. Wonderful."
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"Wonderful. You really have it."
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"Good morning, students. This is your principal, Mr. Belding."
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"Thank you."
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"I want to remind you, our charity drive will continue all week."
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"So please put all clothing and canned goods in the gym,"
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"and not on top of my car, no matter what Zack Morris says."
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"It's also time for our annual Earthquake Drill."
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"Yes, when that siren sounds,"
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"♪ A whole lot of shakin' goin' on ♪"
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"All right, everybody, climb under your tables,"
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"How could you do this to me?"
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"Hey Lisa, I thought you wanted to kiss your debt goodbye."
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"Not with my lips."
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"I feel so-- so cheap."
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"Lisa, you're not cheap."
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"So I just have to press this button to open them?"
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"That's all. I wired everything."
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"Are you sure I have nothing to worry about?"
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"You might lose your hair when you're older."
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"You're too young to lose it now, dipstick!"
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"Zack, do we really have to do this?"
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"Lisa, we only have two-and-a-half days left."
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"If you want to raise money, you'll have to sell your clothes."
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"All right, you guys know what to do."
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"Don't worry about it, "Preppie." We'll take care of Belding."
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"Okay, what am I bid for this lovely lingerie?"
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"Worn by Lisa while dreaming of Screech."
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"It's only two dollars."
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"It will lie next to me every night in my bed."
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"He won't mind."
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"Almost brand new. Worn only once by Lisa"
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"while she was watching a rodeo on TV."
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"- Six dollars. - Sold!"
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"- Four dollars. - You got it!"
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"That's what I call a "matching pair.""
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"Okay, how much am I bid for this wig?"
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"Worn by Lisa during her "Tina Turner" phase."
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"Four dollars!"
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"Sold to Rocco. No questions asked."
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"Hey, Belding is coming."
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"- Hi, Mr. Belding. - Hello, Morris."
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"He's on to us, Zack. I know it, we're dead!"
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"- Hi, Screech. - Hello, goodbye. Let's do lunch."
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"Hmm."
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"Belding! He's ba-ack!"
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"Closing them!"
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"Are you hiding something, Zachary?"
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"- Me? - Uh-huh."
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"Mr. Belding, sir. I need your opinion."
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"It's all right, I guess. Is it for your girlfriend?"
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"No, sir. It's for me."
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"I'd like to wear it to school tomorrow."
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"Now."
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"I would have guessed a 12."
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"I'm confused, sir."
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"You know, maybe I'm trying too hard to get girls to like me."
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"Hey, now I can identify with that."
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"This may come as a surprise to you,"
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"but when I was your age, I wasn't --"
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"well, you know -- the hunk I am now."
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"I can't believe this, sir."
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"No, I thought you were "stud city.""
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"No, I never had a date until I was in the Army."
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"And even she was with the enemy."
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"Tell me more."
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"In high school, I was such a geek."
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"I had to go to the prom with my own sister."
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"I was so embarrassed."
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"Attention shoppers, for two minutes only,"
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""The Lisa Beach Collection,""
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"what the well-dressed teenager will be wearing this summer."
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"Screech, hit it."
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"And now for the beautiful and enchanting..."
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"Kelly, "Goddess of the Sand.""
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"Oh my gosh, she's in a bathing suit!"
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"The bidding is closed. Sold to me for $12."
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"After the war, I was dateless again."
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"That Viet Cong girl dumped me."
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"See, she was on the swim team, and I was a towel boy."
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"I tripped, hit my head, fell into the water --"
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"she saved my life."
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"Wow, that's a beautiful story, sir."
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"I'll never forget her first words to me,"
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""Don't swallow your tongue.""
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"Yes?"
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"Someone flushed Mr. Fetterman's toupee."
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"I'll be right there."
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"Wait!"
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"next to a bunch of women's clothes."
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"Who's are these, anyway?"
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"Uh... Lisa's sir. I helped her bring them to school today."
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"Yeah, Lisa needs to get rid of them."
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"This is the most generous act I've ever witnessed at this school."
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"- But, sir! - And you of all people helping her."
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"- I'm getting chills, brother. - I'm getting sweats."
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"You know what? Lisa has done enough."
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"Let's all take this to the gym for her, huh?"
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"We only made $53 selling Lisa's clothes,"
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"so she had to do the most humiliating, insulting,"
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"degrading thing possible for her -- get a job!"
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"How's she doing?"
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"Let me put it another way --"
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"if Lisa were a car, she'd be recalled."
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"I'm sorry, Max!"
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