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Clips from Dinosaurs - The Mating Dance (S01E01)

"Everything's all right."
Dinosaurs
"-Take another day away. -I don't want another day away."
Dinosaurs
"-I missed it here. -But you were unhappy here."
Dinosaurs
"But I was unhappy away."
Dinosaurs
"Now, Fran, make sense. There's only here and away."
Dinosaurs
"The kids made you unhappy,"
Dinosaurs
"I gave you a whole weekend off, from the kids and now you're fixed."
Dinosaurs
"It's not the kids."
Dinosaurs
"Earl, there's something wrong in my life"
Dinosaurs
"and I don't know what it is."
Dinosaurs
"Your life. What life? Your life is me and the kids."
Dinosaurs
"All right, all right, all right. Look. Here's your life."
Dinosaurs
"This is the kids."
Dinosaurs
"Okay? And this is..."
Dinosaurs
"This is me."
Dinosaurs
"Okay. Now, if it's not the kids..."
Dinosaurs
"-(CLATTERS) -...what is it?"
Dinosaurs
"Hello. Roy?"
Dinosaurs
"Just standing there looking at me."
Dinosaurs
"It made me feel so bad, it was all I could do"
Dinosaurs
"to leave the house and come down to the bar."
Dinosaurs
"-Well, what does she want from you? -She doesn't know."
Dinosaurs
"As I understand it, she does not know."
Dinosaurs
"-So, then why do you have to do anything? -Because I'm the problem."
Dinosaurs
"And in all that time, I never even thought of you as a problem once."
Dinosaurs
"Yeah, but you're my pal."
Dinosaurs
"Well, what about the rest of you guys? You know Earl."
Dinosaurs
"Is anybody here got a problem with him?"
Dinosaurs
"DINOSAUR 1: No problem. DINOSAUR 2: He's a great guy."
Dinosaurs
"DINOSAUR 3: We love you, big guy."
Dinosaurs
"Look, you're a room full of guys, and the problem's with the wife."
Dinosaurs
"so, maybe what you've got is a male/female problem."
Dinosaurs
"(SCOFFS) What kind of male/female problem?"
Dinosaurs
"We're married a good long time now, and we just had a new kid."
Dinosaurs
"Anyway, just this morning, I said, "I love you.""
Dinosaurs
"-What are you talking about? -The mating dance!"
Dinosaurs
"The ultimate expression of a male's absolute commitment to a female."
Dinosaurs
"(SCREECHES)"
Dinosaurs
"I, myself do it three, four times a week."
Dinosaurs
"The mating dance is a courtship ritual. You do it to woo and win."
Dinosaurs
"I don't have to. I got her. She's in the house."
Dinosaurs
"Well, maybe the mating dance isn't just to get her."
Dinosaurs
"Forget it. You don't do the mating dance for a 38-year-old mother of three."
Dinosaurs
"-Why not? -Because."
Dinosaurs
"Because what?"
Dinosaurs
"Because..."
Dinosaurs
"Uh..."
Dinosaurs
"And finally, in local news, officials at the City Zoo report no luck"
Dinosaurs
"in trying to mate Ling Ling and Chang Chang,"
Dinosaurs
"the two rare imported humans."
Dinosaurs
"Zookeepers are baffled at why the two seemingly healthy cave people"
Dinosaurs
"have not yet produced offspring."
Dinosaurs
"At this point, it's feared that Ling Ling is barren."
Dinosaurs
"And now for the weather..."
Dinosaurs
"NEWS ANCHOR: It's going to get colder. And colder and colder..."
Dinosaurs
"-I'm just going to bed. -Okay."
Dinosaurs
"-Don't expect anything from me. -I wouldn't."
Dinosaurs
"Mine. All mine."
Dinosaurs
"MEL: (ON TV) Hey, guys,"
Dinosaurs
"want to make more of an impression with the ladies?"
Dinosaurs
"From time immemorial, dinosaurs have known there's only one way to a woman's heart."
Dinosaurs
"It's not flowers."
Dinosaurs
"It's not candy."
Dinosaurs
"Yes, it's the mating dance."
Dinosaurs
"Whether you're a beginner wanting to learn your first steps for after the prom,"
Dinosaurs
"or an old married guy with a wife who's overwhelmed"
Dinosaurs
"by one kid too many,"
Dinosaurs
"Mel Luster's Mating Dance Academy has the steps for you."
Dinosaurs
"We're open all night, because let's face it,"
Dinosaurs
"when else are you gonna come here?"
Dinosaurs
"Mel Luster. Since 72 million B.C. Always the same location,"
Dinosaurs
"in the heart of the seedy part of town. (CHUCKLES)"
Dinosaurs
"Hey, you in the door. How can I help you?"
Dinosaurs
"I'm here for the 29.95 refresher course."
Dinosaurs
"Let's try, uh, a bob dip."
Dinosaurs
"-Huh? -Can you bob dip for me?"
Dinosaurs
"-Uh... -Okay. Not at all."
Dinosaurs
"Well, we're open all night."
Dinosaurs
"-Bend, will you bend? -EARL: Come on, I've got such a cramp."
Dinosaurs
"You know, I'm not as young as I used to be."
Dinosaurs
"-Okay. -MEL: Yeah, right."
Dinosaurs
"-Left, right, and left. -EARL: Weave."
Dinosaurs
"BOTH: Weave."
Dinosaurs
"MEL: Weave. BOTH: Turn."
Dinosaurs
"-Kick. -BOTH: Bob, bob, dip."
Dinosaurs
"Chin, chin, chin."
Dinosaurs
"Let's see how Marilyn,"
Dinosaurs
"-our blushing bachelorette, liked it. -Yeah!"
Dinosaurs
"Yeah!"
Dinosaurs
"MARILYN: Ooh! I could spend the rest of my life with you."
Dinosaurs
"-I'm married. -29.95. Pay now."
Dinosaurs
"Yeah, okay."
Dinosaurs
"Mel..."
Dinosaurs
"Cave man from the zoo."
Dinosaurs
"Chang Chang, come on in. We've been expecting you."
Dinosaurs
"(CHANG CHANG GRUNTING)"
Dinosaurs
"Frannie."
Dinosaurs
"Frannie?"
Dinosaurs
"Yoo-hoo."
Dinosaurs
"-Frannie? -Mmm."
Dinosaurs
"Earl? Where have you been?"
Dinosaurs
"I've been out taking care of your problem, Fran."
Dinosaurs
"And you'll be happy to know that you don't have a problem anymore."
Dinosaurs
"You're gonna want to see this. It's important."
Dinosaurs
"I learned it all over again just for you."
Dinosaurs
"(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)"
Dinosaurs
"Fran?"
Dinosaurs
"Your problem is just that you're tired all the time."
Dinosaurs
"(KISSES)"
Dinosaurs
"BABY SINCLAIR: I'm up again!"
Dinosaurs
"You need your sleep."
Dinosaurs
"Not the Mama! Not the Mama! Not the Mama!"
Dinosaurs
"-Not the Mama! -I really wish you'd grow out of this."
Dinosaurs
"Hey, weekend guy. You think you got what it takes..."
Dinosaurs
"-(HUMMING) -...to put me to sleep? Please."
Dinosaurs
"I've outlasted actual mamas."
Dinosaurs
"Hey, what are you doing?"
Dinosaurs
"-I like it. -Hey, you like that,"
Dinosaurs
"-Whoa! (LAUGHS) -Whoo! (LAUGHS)"
Dinosaurs
"BABY SINCLAIR: Ooh, this is fun."
Dinosaurs
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