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Clips from Girls5eva - D'wasg (S01E01)

"- You know, it's working, but, like,"
Girls5eva
"I'm not moved, though. But I got a high bar."
Girls5eva
"I once saw Anita Baker at the Trop."
Girls5eva
"- Nick's right. Let's go again."
Girls5eva
"Everybody sing from your diaphragm."
Girls5eva
"- Which one?"
Girls5eva
"- Honey, you don't leave those in all the time."
Girls5eva
"- I'm getting you a book."
Girls5eva
"- Two, three, four."
Girls5eva
"[sharp percussion]"
Girls5eva
"- * Us *"
Girls5eva
"- Competent, but feel my eyes. They're bone dry."
Girls5eva
"- Where is our dwasg? Why don't we have it?"
Girls5eva
"What didn't we do?"
Girls5eva
"- Is it cocaine? I used to do so much cocaine."
Girls5eva
"- I can't do cocaine anymore. I'm taking too many statins."
Girls5eva
"- No, we had it at "Fallon.""
Girls5eva
"What--what's missing?"
Girls5eva
"- How long you been there?"
Girls5eva
"Boy, you have zero presence."
Girls5eva
"It's smart that your teeth aren't so great."
Girls5eva
"Like going to a bald barber."
Girls5eva
"I know he's focused on me."
Girls5eva
"I always thought you'd be the dead one."
Girls5eva
"Suck it in, chunks."
Girls5eva
"- Our dwasg is from Larry being mean to us?"
Girls5eva
"- He'd make us feel small"
Girls5eva
"so we'd have something to prove onstage."
Girls5eva
"- Well, you know what?"
Girls5eva
"If we're gonna kill with this pop-up show,"
Girls5eva
"then we're just gonna have to Larry each other."
Girls5eva
"Dawn, I'll start with your feet. - No."
Girls5eva
"I don't want us motivating ourselves"
Girls5eva
"by tearing each other down."
Girls5eva
"We are better than that. - Are we?"
Girls5eva
"We're four grown women"
Girls5eva
"loose in the back of a cargo van."
Girls5eva
"- It's not a van, all right?"
Girls5eva
"For tax purposes, it's ten wheelchairs."
Girls5eva
"- We're more than just four women in the back of a van."
Girls5eva
"We are four women with greatness in us."
Girls5eva
"- Ghislaine. - Exactly, Dawn."
Girls5eva
"You know, positive envisionment"
Girls5eva
"can be just as powerful a motivator."
Girls5eva
"It's like when I'm working out at the gym, right?"
Girls5eva
"I like to imagine myself rescuing Christy Turlington"
Girls5eva
"from Ed Burns, and then, boom!"
Girls5eva
"I just start freakin' ripping down my lap pulls."
Girls5eva
"[passing driver honks horn] - Right. Y--yeah."
Girls5eva
"So let's make ourselves feel big instead of small."
Girls5eva
"- Okay."
Girls5eva
"- Okay, dream scenarios for tonight."
Girls5eva
"Go. - Okay."
Girls5eva
"We kill at the mall. - Mm-hmm."
Girls5eva
"- It puts us on a rocket ship to the Grammys."
Girls5eva
"And I take one of those photos that's like..."
Girls5eva
"[in British accent] "I don't know if I can carry all these!""
Girls5eva
"[laughter] - That's a solid Adele."
Girls5eva
"- Okay, we're so awesome tonight"
Girls5eva
"that my Astoria moms group stops asking me,"
Girls5eva
""What do you do again? Is it marketing?""
Girls5eva
"- Okay. Okay. My turn."
Girls5eva
"Everybody sees us, and we are amazing."
Girls5eva
"And--oh! It worked! Mine is short."
Girls5eva
"[screams] Oh, my God."
Girls5eva
"- We pop up. We blow minds."
Girls5eva
"Then, Amber Alert!"
Girls5eva
"Sky-blue Taurus."
Girls5eva
"Rhode Island plates. It sounds familiar."
Girls5eva
"I sprint over to lot B,"
Girls5eva
"and I pull that son of a bitch through the windshield!"
Girls5eva
"Whoo! Hell, yeah! - Oh!"
Girls5eva
"- Chicken nipples. - Oh, my God! Me too!"
Girls5eva
"- It worked. - We're here!"
Girls5eva
"- All right. We got this."
Girls5eva
"- Here we go. - Thanks, Nick."
Girls5eva
"- Okay, ladies."
Girls5eva
"- Okay. - Let's go destroy this mall."
Girls5eva
"- Yes!"
Girls5eva
"- If they've got a Spencer's up in there,"
Girls5eva
"get me some "Jerky Boys" pajamas."
Girls5eva
"[exciting synth music]"
Girls5eva
"* *"
Girls5eva
"[music stops]"
Girls5eva
"- The hell?"
Girls5eva
"- Ugh!"
Girls5eva
"Oh, my God. Ew!"
Girls5eva
"- The mall's already destroyed."
Girls5eva
"- I bought Skechers here, like, a month ago."
Girls5eva
"- Oh, my God."
Girls5eva
"- The mall economy is fragile. - [yelps]"
Girls5eva
"- One minute, she's a-bustlin'."
Girls5eva
"The next, murdered by e-commerce."
Girls5eva
"So the suits cram her with gimmicks."
Girls5eva
"Indoor ski slope,"
Girls5eva
"swim-up food court,"
Girls5eva
"but that's just a Band-Aid."
Girls5eva
"And things rot pretty fast when your anchor store"
Girls5eva
"is a Halloween Adventure."
Girls5eva
"- So there's nothing here?"
Girls5eva
"- Outside of a post-apocalyptic paintball scene, no."
Girls5eva
"But try next week. She could bounce back."
Girls5eva
"- Oh, yeah."
Girls5eva
"We're supposed to go live in one minute."
Girls5eva
"- We cannot pop up here."
Girls5eva
"[echoes] We'll look like idiots!"
Girls5eva
"- Jesus, am I crazy..."
Girls5eva
"or are the acoustics in here..."
Girls5eva
"[belting powerfully] * Amazing? *"
Girls5eva
"[laughter echoing] - Oh, my God."
Girls5eva
"You guys, look."
Girls5eva
"The O from the downed Sbarro,"
Girls5eva
"it's like a ring light."
Girls5eva
"We all look... super hot."
Girls5eva
"- Okay."
Girls5eva
"Let's not waste this dwasg."
Girls5eva
"- Lady guard."
Girls5eva
"Okay, will you just press the red button?"
Girls5eva
"And keep the angles hot! You know?"
Girls5eva
"And vertical--no! No! Up and down."
Girls5eva
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