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Clips from King of the Hill - Yankee Hankee (S05E05)

"Heck, they'd look sharp anywhere."
King of the Hill
"talking about them, they add 20% on the blue-book value, man."
King of the Hill
"That is a capital idea with a capital"
King of the Hill
"Then all three of us will have them."
King of the Hill
"No offense, Bill, you being from Loseranna."
King of the Hill
"It's okay, Bill, you can ride with me after I put my new plates on."
King of the Hill
"I'd better call my mom."
King of the Hill
"Peggy made it up for you. It's mostly oranges."
King of the Hill
"You think I got enough room in this cracker box for your baby crap?"
King of the Hill
"and tossed out some of those videos."
King of the Hill
"Those videos are of G.H. They mean something to me."
King of the Hill
"Didi, get the camera. He's doing it again."
King of the Hill
"- No, my dad hates adopted children. - Exactly."
King of the Hill
"My mom wouldn't just hang up on me for no reason."
King of the Hill
"God, maybe I really am adopted!"
King of the Hill
"Well, there would be clues. Think back to when you were a child."
King of the Hill
"Now, Hank, did your parents ever tell you..."
King of the Hill
"My real parents might have called me Henry..."
King of the Hill
"Well, if I was adopted that means my real dad could be anybody."
King of the Hill
"135-016-629."
King of the Hill
"Now we download, enter."
King of the Hill
"How come you never told me I was born in New York?"
King of the Hill
"What? New York?"
King of the Hill
"You wasn't. You was adopted."
King of the Hill
"I was born in New York City, of your seed."
King of the Hill
"Well, thank you, I guess for not leaving me there."
King of the Hill
"She's never forgiven herself for birthing you outside Texas."
King of the Hill
"why did you marry me?"
King of the Hill
"Nothing in there about New York."
King of the Hill
"Or should I say yadda-yadda-yadda?"
King of the Hill
"Dad, is what Joseph's been telling everyone at school true?"
King of the Hill
"I'm sorry, Bobby."
King of the Hill
"- Ever think about moving back? - No!"
King of the Hill
"COTTON: Look at him go."
King of the Hill
"[Car horn blaring]"
King of the Hill
"[Hank sighing]"
King of the Hill
"Dad, come on, you'll be okay."
King of the Hill
"Mom, Dad told me everything. I know that I was born in New York."
King of the Hill
"Hank, I'm so, so sorry."
King of the Hill
"It was his idea to go to New York."
King of the Hill
"What? Well, then one of you is not telling the truth."
King of the Hill
"Hell, I know it's him."
King of the Hill
"- Go! - You're running for two, woman."
King of the Hill
"As you know, he's half Mexican, half Cuban."
King of the Hill
"For this job, we'll be using the half that's Cuban."
King of the Hill
"You idiot. We can't use our own cars."
King of the Hill
"The ladies' room, Yankee Stadium, Mr. Fidel Castro."
King of the Hill
"Well, I guess I can't blame her. That's what pigs do."
King of the Hill
"and I tried a bagel and I actually liked it."
King of the Hill
"His truck."
King of the Hill
"But I am in hell."
King of the Hill
"If I could just shove you back in your mother..."
King of the Hill
"Dad!"
King of the Hill
"- That's just what I needed, I tell you what. - Sure. Just give me the keys."
King of the Hill
"I'm having a ball."
King of the Hill
"We still gots to gets..."
King of the Hill
"Oh, my goodness! The cradle of Texas liberty."
King of the Hill
"No, but I'll let you hold today's newspaper and Topsy's gun."
King of the Hill
"It took you long enough, Slowpez."
King of the Hill
"Time for a real Texas surprise."
King of the Hill
"like I wanted for my ninth birthday, right?"
King of the Hill
"What about making me a Texan? Wait."
King of the Hill
"Now, untie me. The game is over."
King of the Hill
"MAN: Nice socks!"
King of the Hill
""These 32 flags..."
King of the Hill
""honor the birthplaces of the Alamo defenders."
King of the Hill
"Jim Bowie and his knife. Easy now."
King of the Hill
"Sorry about this, Mr. Crockett."
King of the Hill
"Well, I suppose you're... Sucker punch."
King of the Hill
"Who's got saliva?"
King of the Hill
"Even Topsy can't hold his breath that long."
King of the Hill
"No, don't shoot him! Jump in and save him!"
King of the Hill
"I have a doctor's appointment. I got adult-onset diabetes."
King of the Hill
"If I don't watch my weight, they're gonna cut off my foot."
King of the Hill
"And it's puzzle day at the rec center."
King of the Hill
"Ill----..."
King of the Hill
"[Cotton groaning]"
King of the Hill
"Hank, thanks again for calling. We were starting to get worried."
King of the Hill
"COTTON: Well, I suppose... Sucker punch."
King of the Hill
"BILL: A Texas Native license plate."
King of the Hill
"It's got that new license plate smell."
King of the Hill
"Boy! A set of those sure would look sharp on my truck."
King of the Hill
"I tell you what, man..."
King of the Hill
"And my plates usually are so covered with mud anyway."
King of the Hill
"I really want one!"
King of the Hill
"Just duck down whenever I pass another real Texan."
King of the Hill
"HANK: Any sign of my birth certificate yet? PEGGY: To be perfectly honest, no."
King of the Hill
"I'm pretty sure the license people are gonna need to see a birth certificate."
King of the Hill
"Otherwise, you'd have a bunch of Oklahomans..."
King of the Hill
"trying to get Texas Native plates."
King of the Hill
"TILLIE: Hello? HANK: Mom?"
King of the Hill
"Look, this isn't a social call."
King of the Hill
"I'm just phoning to get a copy of my birth certificate."
King of the Hill
"Well, what makes you think I'd have something like that?"
King of the Hill
"Because I wouldn't. And I don't."
King of the Hill
"- That was weird. - Well, I found my birth certificate."
King of the Hill
"Seven pounds, six ounces. Perfect."
King of the Hill
"Hey, Dad."
King of the Hill
"I got you a little housewarming present. A basket of fruit."
King of the Hill
"- You know how I feel about hairy fruits. - Yeah."
King of the Hill
"So----"
King of the Hill
"Hey, when you were packing up the house in Houston..."
King of the Hill
"did you happen to come across my birth certificate?"
King of the Hill
"Well, maybe you could have kept my birth certificate..."
King of the Hill
"[G.H. coughing]"
King of the Hill
"Well, either this is your dream and I am in it..."
King of the Hill
"or this is your life and your parents are acting weird..."
King of the Hill
"because you're adopted."
King of the Hill
"Which is why Cotton treats your brother G.H..."
King of the Hill
"who we know for sure is not adopted much better than you..."
King of the Hill
"whose parentage is, let's face it, a question mark."
King of the Hill
"- Hank? - Hank."
King of the Hill
"God, Peggy. What if I'm a Chris?"
King of the Hill
"Hey, maybe even Tom Landry."
King of the Hill
"I do have his strong chin and love for the flex defense."
King of the Hill
"I wonder if I would have called him Dad or Coach?"
King of the Hill
"Who am I kidding? It would have been sir."
King of the Hill
"[Dale whistling]"
King of the Hill
"9%, 57%, 100%."
King of the Hill
"It says here your birth parents were Tillie and Cotton Hill."
King of the Hill
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