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Clips from Scrubs - My Hero (S01E01)

"No. But that's the only thing that could make me unhappy, right?"
Scrubs
"You people think of me as nothing but The Janitor."
Scrubs
"- That's not true. - What's my name?"
Scrubs
"- I know. - Come on."
Scrubs
"Today seems like a good day to hide out in one of my patient's rooms."
Scrubs
"Say, ''I don't know,'' I'll show you what I learned in my crotch-punching class."
Scrubs
"Hey, doc!"
Scrubs
"Is anybody missing one of these?"
Scrubs
"- Please... - My hands are free to..."
Scrubs
"Faster!"
Scrubs
"- No! Ben, put me down! No! - Get a shot of the mean lady."
Scrubs
"Hey, shorty. You short person,"
Scrubs
"Because I don't like people to see my bum."
Scrubs
"Every girl who came to our house in the mid-'80s"
Scrubs
"If you don't start taking this seriously..."
Scrubs
"I know, but I enjoy saying it to you. OK, here's the deal."
Scrubs
"we'll do it one way and one way only:"
Scrubs
"I'm sorry, I'm very excited. Go!"
Scrubs
"Go Team Cancer."
Scrubs
"Wow, he did it."
Scrubs
"What's a brother got to do to get a Whipple? What's a brother got to do?"
Scrubs
"- I will end her. - No, no."
Scrubs
"- Dude, let her go. - Let go of me."
Scrubs
"I think it's..."
Scrubs
"You insist on starting every answer with ''um.''"
Scrubs
"So you've either got a speech impediment"
Scrubs
"Well..."
Scrubs
"Right? They hate you, Bob."
Scrubs
"Now, do you think you can make Ben behave like a patient or not?"
Scrubs
"No problem."
Scrubs
"What're we watching?"
Scrubs
"Antonio. Played by the actor Tony Shalhoub,"
Scrubs
"also particularly fantastic in a film called Big Night."
Scrubs
"How he made him feel safe."
Scrubs
"- Do I have to get a special doctor? - An oncologist."
Scrubs
"Do we have to talk about this? You must have something else on your mind."
Scrubs
"You are such a stud."
Scrubs
"- Yes, I did. - Thanks again, sir."
Scrubs
"I mean, neither one of us wants to do anything to make it worse, right?"
Scrubs
"You guys ever notice how you're both Asian?"
Scrubs
"Your mother's maiden name is Turner."
Scrubs
"at the embarrassing age of 16."
Scrubs
"She wore a green turtleneck."
Scrubs
"You wonder sometimes if she still thinks about you. I'm guessing no."
Scrubs
"- How could you possibly know that? - I'm your father."
Scrubs
"Good morning, Dr Dorian."
Scrubs
"- Legal - Accounting"
Scrubs
"- Shipping and Receiving - Online Property Management"
Scrubs
"We mostly do a cappella versions of cartoon theme songs."
Scrubs
"Dr Reid, I hope I wasn't too harsh on you"
Scrubs
"Well, turnabout's fair play, and all that, so here's an evaluation form."
Scrubs
"I figured I'd try to get a read on how all you interns think I'm doing."
Scrubs
"It's completely anonymous, and Dr Reid, I'm no she-doc."
Scrubs
"I'll probably miss this first one, but I will leave"
Scrubs
"my lovely and talented assistant, Kimmy, OK?"
Scrubs
"No matter what I wrote, I always brought it back to sexual inadequacy."
Scrubs
"- So good. - Hello, ladies."
Scrubs
"- Hey, Doug. - Hey, Doug."
Scrubs
"- What evaluation? - You didn't get yours yet?"
Scrubs
"Around here, bad behaviour comes back to haunt you."
Scrubs
"Dr Wen, I want to take this opportunity"
Scrubs
"You know, Christopher,"
Scrubs
"surgeons don't have to be shallow, rank-obsessed clichés."
Scrubs
"Is it Bonnie? Is it me? Come on, I just, I gotta know."
Scrubs
"Wassup, T-Man! Show the Todd some love."
Scrubs
"No way."
Scrubs
"And others..."
Scrubs
"Twenty percent? Thirty...maybe?"
Scrubs
"You see, I can't handle that. I cannot."
Scrubs
"but it's poison pumped directly into your veins."
Scrubs
"So where's my Tonka truck?"
Scrubs
"- Score. - The earth-mover. Can I see?"
Scrubs
"Ah, see it with your eyes, man, not with your hands. See?"
Scrubs
"I can't believe Perry bailed on you. Typical."
Scrubs
"True story!"
Scrubs
"To find out what happens when people stop being polite..."
Scrubs
"Well, not all at once, sweetheart."
Scrubs
"because I haven't gotten any since the Bay of Pigs.''"
Scrubs
"Oh, sir, I'm so sorry."
Scrubs
"Are we cool?"
Scrubs
"What could have possessed you to write such filth?"
Scrubs
"I need to tell you something..."
Scrubs
"No, that's OK, Carla, I'm gonna take care of that patient."
Scrubs
"and I thought that it would be funny."
Scrubs
"Let's take a walk."
Scrubs
"When you're working I can always see your wheels turning."
Scrubs
"You're thinking about what to do next, what could go wrong."
Scrubs
"in case the appendiceal artery is inadvertently incised"
Scrubs
"You like feel of cashmere on your skin."
Scrubs
"...I told you that I was afraid earlier."
Scrubs
"In fact, I'm the one who said them."
Scrubs
"Ben is my friend."
Scrubs
"I'm gonna try to visit him over the next couple of weeks,"
Scrubs
"Oh, and newbie,"
Scrubs
"please don't think that you've come here because Ben needs me."
Scrubs
"You're here because you're scared"
Scrubs
"And that..."
Scrubs
"That is just the saddest thing of all."
Scrubs
"feeling the exact same way."
Scrubs
"Maybe because you're feeling completely abandoned."
Scrubs
"Either way, when you hit that low point, you have a choice."
Scrubs
"It's your call."
Scrubs
"because I'm all about the upside, and one day,"
Scrubs
"Dr Kelso, I wrote that evaluation. It was me. Elliot didn't write a word."
Scrubs
"...and the other-side-of-the-tracks upbringing Carla did."
Scrubs
"You're mean."
Scrubs
"As for me, I decided that if Dr Cox couldn't do it,"
Scrubs
"So, you know, what's up?"
Scrubs
"Redhead? Tall?"
Scrubs
"What a strange young lady."
Scrubs
"Are we just gonna sit around here"
Scrubs
"All right, fine."
Scrubs
"Aw, man, I love you,"
Scrubs
"I guess I got a little scared."
Scrubs
"Well, let me know if there's anything I can do"
Scrubs
"to help you through this rough patch."
Scrubs
"I've been thinking about death a lot lately."
Scrubs
"Oh, you gotta be kidding me."
Scrubs
"You think it's like New York, you know..."
Scrubs
"Well, Dr Murphy?"
Scrubs
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