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Clips from The IT Crowd (2006) - Reynholm vs Reynholm (S04E04)

"Female Sulu, beam their Captain aboard."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"But... Captain... are you sure?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"But she's hurt, she may need our help."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Jim, even if she's injured as you say, I can't do an examination"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"on a new species without proper research."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Perhaps the good doctor thinks"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I have never refused treatment to a patient,"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I think we've seen enough."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Your Honour, I object!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"There's a brilliant bit coming up."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I am, your Honour, but rest assured,"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"it will be a normal examination."
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"I am not in any way cross."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"You are Victoria Reynholm, are you not?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Mr. Reynholm, we have already established that."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Might I suggest that you try less to do an impression of a lawyer"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"you once saw on the television"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"and make your case as simply as you possibly can."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Wise words, my learned lud."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"and I think it's time we heard a little about the real you."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Isn't it true, that you..."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Used to be a man?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"No."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"It isn't true, you say?"
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"It is untrue."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Who am I thinking of?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I think you mean April, the woman you had a fight with."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"What? Your entire case rested on that?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"No, wait, Mr Reynholm, you can't leave it at that."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"You've got to request more time to prepare a proper defence."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Your Grace, may I approach the bench?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- Have you brushed your teeth? - No."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Then you may not."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Your Grace,"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Yes, he's some piece of work."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"We're all very happy at Reynholm Industries."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Then why are you so ill-at-ease?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"If you must know... I was in a court myself very recently..."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"This very courtroom in fact,"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"where I gave testimony against a former soldier who..."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I was having a massage and he kissed me on my bottom, Your Honour."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I see."
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"I'm sure you can understand my discomfort."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Are you all right? Can you continue?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"The way you tell it, your employer sounds like a paragon of virtue."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"That's right."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"And furthermore, I would like to say at this point"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Thank you, no further questions."
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"Oooh! I have one more question, your Honour."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"What did you say?"
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""I believe this entire case to be a bit of a damp squid.""
The IT Crowd (2006)
""A damp squid?""
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Oh, Jen, it's an expression."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"It means that I believe"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"that everything that's been said in this case, everyone already knew."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"That's right."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Did you not mean, "damp squib"?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"No, it's "squid"."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"What's a squib?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"could have reached this point in your life without knowing that it is "squib"."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"- No, no, no, wait, wait, wait! - That will be all."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Your name is Maurice Moss, is it not?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Your name is Maurice Moss, is it not?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Sorry, bit nervous... So... Yeah..."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Fizzy! It's very fizzy. It's fizzy. Gone fizzy."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Ow, come on!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Just got a shock."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Your name is Maurice Moss, is it not?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Sorry, yeah, sorry, sorry."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"My mother sued me."
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"Relax. Take your time."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Try to answer the questions as clearly as you can."
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"Thank you, my love."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Your name is Maurice Moss, is it not?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"No further questions, my lud."
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"Don't you have anything?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"What's that?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Oh, God."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"I think I may have found our miracle."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Can you state your full name, please?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Richmond Felicity Avenal."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"And you worked at Reynholm Industries for a time?"
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"I did, for over four years."
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"And what did you do?"
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"I don't know."
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"Why did you leave?"
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"Well, my life wasn't really going anywhere. I was part of the whole"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"It was all a bit gloomy."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"It was round about that point that I developed scurvy."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Now that sounds unpleasant."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"On the contrary. Catching scurvy was the best thing that ever happened to me."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"It made me take a long hard look in the mirror."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Which is why I founded From Goth2Boss."
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"Does it have anything whatsoever to do with this case?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Not really, Your Honour."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Where are you going? Is it to the top?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"If not, why not?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Go to the bloody top! Is it because you're a goth?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Did you know that goths have some of the lowest life satisfaction levels"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"of any subculture with the exception of traffic wardens?"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"That's why you don't see any goth traffic wardens."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"That would be a deadly combination!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"to bring out their hidden potential..."
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"by encouraging them to engage in everyday, healthy pursuits"
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"such as sports."
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"Mixing with other humans."
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"Extended laughter sessions."
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"Introducing colour to your wardrobe."
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"hang around railway stations with her hands in her sleeves."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"From Goth2Boss, you know it makes sense. Unless you're not a goth,"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"in which case, from Goth2Boss. Remember the name."
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"But what does that have to do with"
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"Well, Mr. Reynholm, I'm here to tell you that that woman"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"is not Victoria Reynholm!"
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"Her name is Melanie Crawford,"
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"a former From Goth2Boss pupil of mine!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Sing, you canary!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Well, during our sessions, she seemed more interested in you than getting better."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"and beneath you'll find the purest white foundation!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Yeah, that was more of a phrase than anything."
The IT Crowd (2006)
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